The Experiments
Mill's "tests" turned out to be... not something I looked forward to. Every few days, she would bring me out to the fields by the forest and we would try something new. It started with simple pinpricks on my finger, seeing how long it took me to heal vs her. It turned out, pinpricks on me healed almost instantly, while hers throbbed for hours after. She then moved us up to small matchstick burns on our arms, then bruises, and lastly, a knife cut (she said we had been needing to make a blood pact anyway, so it was no big deal).
We cut our palms and pressed them together, our blood mixing and dripping into the grass. We stayed like that, hands clasped until the blood dried. When we finally pulled away, my hand just had a thin pink scar, and her hand was still split wide open and oozing thickened drying blood. She hissed a bit as we unstuck and looked at my hand with a bit of jealousy.
"Tha's abou' all we cin do wi'out jus' stabbin' ya, an' I'm not gonna do nuffin to ya ifn' I don't wanna do it to myself, so thas' ou'."
I nodded and flexed my hand, feeling the strange sensation of tender new skin stretching and creasing for the first time.
"Well, is there anything else we can do to experiment then? Maybe we could figure out something new?"
She licked the blood off her hand as best she could and tilted her head, thinking
"Mm, yea, we could go to th' church. They're pretty nice folk, an' they kin figure out ifn it's a holy thing like whats e'ryone's sayin' 'n town."
"Ok, well... You know Sister Galla a lot better than me, so I'll trust you on that. Tomorrow?"
She grunted in affirmation and left to wash up properly while I poked at my hand. I thought it was strange, I swore I could see something pressing against the newly healed cut, making little lines on my palm as it weakly pushed from the inside out, but when I poked at it more to see if I could get a response, the sensation stopped, and my hand started to hurt a bit more. I shrugged it off and headed home to mix up the gruel for our dinner before the bricks cooled too much to cook on.
~
The following afternoon, I stood in front of the leader of our local church, a lady named Sister Galla, with my hand outstretched showing my scar, matching Mill's pose on my right. Galla frowned and gently rubbed my hand. It didn't hurt anymore at that point, so I smiled at her and let her massage the new tissue. She confirmed that we had both done it at the same time, and asked if there was any reason to think I had been influenced by a spiritual force, be it good or bad. I frowned and looked over at Mill
"Well, I come to church a lot. Not as much as Mill, but every few weeks, maybe that's it?"
Mill rolled her eyes and Galla tutted at me
"No lass, that's not it. Ye've got less of a holy bone in ye than most, and no god would bless ye for going ta church even if ye were going every week like yer supposed to. But, ye may have a god's blessing yet. Let's make sure there's nothing evil in ya though, just to be safe."
She lead me to the altar and put my hands on the smooth wood.
"Alright, now I'm going to put some holy water and holy oils on the back of yer hands, if it burns, or if yer feeling bad, let me know, 'k?"
I nod and she pulls a basket of vials out from under the altar, full of all kinds of holy liquid, blessed by the priests of all kinds of gods or goddesses. She dripped them onto my hands one by one, leaving them there as she added more. They didn't hurt, but they did feel a bit cold from being on the stone floor, and I told Galla as much, and she let me know I would know if it was a reaction.
After exhausting her whole selection of holy liquids I was still un-burned, so she brought me to the wall behind the altar, where all the candles representing the gods were lined up in rows in an alcove
"Alright lass, now yer going to hold your hand out to the candles, and as you touch then, we're going ta look at the flame, if it goes up, ye've got the blessing of that god or goddess, ok?"
I waited as she lit all of them, and then I stepped forward and reached out my hand to the closest one. As I got near it, the flame shrunk, and hovered around the wick, barely lit at all. Galla tutted at that and motioned for me to move my hand along the line of candles. As I did so, each one of them shrunk their flame when my hand was in front of them and flared up again as soon as my hand passed them.
Galla looked at me hard for a good few minutes after I finished. her expressionless gaze bore into me and made me feel like squirming, but I held my ground and looked back at her. Mill came up beside me and took my hand before realizing it was still covered in oil, and after wiping her hand on my dress, held my wrist and stared at Galla coldly.
"Well? Wha's the word? Is she blessed or cursed?" She barked roughly.
Galla sighed from her nose and shook her head slowly.
"Nay, neither one, from what I can see, but whatever it be, it's nothing the gods want any part of, that's for damn certain."
I blinked in surprise at hearing the leader of the church swear so easily, but she kept going, pinching out the candles as she spoke.
"If the gods don't want ye here, I'm afraid I have to trust them, lass. Millicent, you can still continue your works here and come to service, and I will not begrudge ye the food donated for those such as ourselves, but I would ask that ye-"
She pointed at me with her soot covered fingers
"not cross this threshold again until the affliction that is upon ye has passed. I'm sorry, I love ye lass, but the gods cannot be trifled with, and they very much don't want ye here. I'll do whatever I can to help ye, anything ye need, please ask."
Mill squeezed my arm hard, her hand shaking and she pulled me behind her as I processed Galla's words
"Ye kin take yer food an' jobs and spit on 'em!"
She shouted at Galla
"Ifn I kin't take 'er to church wi' me, then... fuk this place, I don' need it!"
She spun and I saw tears on her face for a split second before she was ahead of me again, and I felt a sharp stab of guilt for knowing I was the reason behind her blasphemy.
"W-wait, Milly, you can still come, it's ok, I don't mind, it's ok, I promise!"
I tried to reassure her as we bustled through the front doors.
"No, 's no poin' anymore. I'm done wi' th' gods, if they kin't see you an' let you be you wi'out makin' a fuss, I don' wan' anything ta' do wi' em."
I heard her lightly sniffle as we made our way.
A weight filled the pit of my stomach as we trudged back to the bakery. My head swam at the idea that I was cast out by all the gods, that none of them wanted me near. Did that mean I was for sure going to one of the hells? Which one would it be? Was Mill going to hell now too? She was very rude back there, and I think she renounced her faith. I shuddered at the idea of being the reason Mill was tortured for eternity and I watched her as she walked quickly ahead of me, head down so I couldn't see her face. So I couldn't see her tears. I wondered if she was thinking the same things I was, if there was anything I could do to help her, but I couldn't think of anything I could do to make her feel even the slightest bit better.
We got to the crawlspace, and she dragged me in, all the way back to the bricks and pulled me into a hug. I stiffened a bit, she almost never hugged me, only returned mine to her. After a second of processing, I hugged her back, and we sat in the dark hot crawlspace like that, holding each other until I fell asleep.
~
The morning when I awoke, she was already gone. It wasn't too unusual for her to head out early, she did have to round us up jobs for the day after all, but today it felt different. She usually just left me in the blanket, however I was when she left, but today it looked like she had taken care to tuck the blanket around me after she got up. I lay there in the half light for a while, wondering if she would come back and get me for a job, or if she needed time to think.
As the bakery started to get busy overhead, I decided she was not coming back, and got up. I gathered my kit with my knives, needles, thread, and other tools I may need for the day's work, and crawled to the entrance. As I pushed the wooden door away and slid out on my back, I saw Mill, standing there, arms crossed looking at me.
"Took ye long enuf t' wake up, huh?" She said with a hint of snark
"S-sorry, I was just waiting to see if you'd come back."
She snorted
"An here I was tryin' ta let ye rest... Git up, we're goin' to th' doc's"
I clutched my bag
"Is it your hand? Is it bad? I knew we shouldn't have-"
"Nay, 'm fine, yer goin' ta go an' see if the doc's 'tests' will 'ave any 'elp on gitting ye back in th' god's graces."
My eyes widen at that, she must be worried a lot to suggest that. Whether that was worry for her future position as a sister of the church, or for my eternal soul, I wasn't sure. Either way, I would do it for her sake.
"Ok, I'll do it, we'll go do the tests."
"Yea, I know ye will. I talked t' him this morn' an' 'e won't try nothin' gross or summin that could hurt ya for real like, alri'?"
I smiled at her, and held my hand out to her. She gave me a thin lipped smile and hoisted me to my feet, pulling me out of the crawlspace. I dusted off my dress and shook the sleep wrinkles out of it.
"Well, if he's expecting us, let's go ahead and go!" I said with false confidence.
She looked at me levelly and nodded. Both of us were nervous, it was obvious. For each other's sake, neither one of us would admit it, no matter how obvious it was. I thought about the meaning of the word "test" and wondered if I'd be answering questions, or if he would skip straight to the stabbing me to see if I lived. He didn't seem like a bad person, he was nice to me and Mill- well, nice enough as someone who was doing work for free could be I suppose. He always seemed scary to me though, his long white hair always oiled back on his head, his little round glasses that made his stare seem so intense, his long black robe over his doctors uniform, it all came together to equal a man I had nightmares about on more than one occasion, despite him giving me no reason to.
Mill walked into his office without knocking. She never was much one for knocking now that I think about it. When we stepped in, the doctor stood up and took his hat off, hanging it on the rack by his desk.
"I see we are ready, please, into the exam room." He croaked in his dry voice
I walked in, my back stiff and my head still abuzz. I climbed up onto the table and sat with my legs crossed, looking ahead at his medical diagrams on the far wall. He walked in a second later with his big bag, and tried to close the door, but Mill shoved her way in. He looked at her tiredly and tried to protest
"Ma'am, I understand your concern but this is an exam, you cannot be in here, and what's more she will need to be mostly unclothed, and I'm sure you understand the inappropriateness of you being here then"
Mill snorted and quipped back at him
"I sure unnerstand the "inapropeitness" of yew bein' here w'out me here while mah frien 's nekkid an' alone. We been sharin' a crik to take baths in f'r 'bout 7 years now, s' there's no reason ta leave me out o' here, doc"
The last part she spit out with a mocking sarcasm, making his title sound like an insult. The doctor sighed through his nose and waved her to a corner.
"Very well miss. But I will be taking notes and making observations, if you want your friend to get the help you say she needs, you will sit quietly and not disturb me."
Mill's mouth turned to a sneer, but she didn't say anything more. He turned to me on the table.
"I am sorry, but I must ask you to remove your outerwear, we will be examining your arrow wound first."
I nodded and pulled it off over my head, tossing it to Mill. She snatched it out of the air and balled it up grumpily, watching his every move. He pulled up a stool and leaned in close, pulling a carved wooden stick out of his bag and poking the skin around the scar. He frowned and quickly wrote something down in a notebook, also pulled from the bag. I shifted a bit and tried to see what he saw, but it just looked like my scar to me. He put the stick down and looked at Mill, then me and said clearly
"I need to do two things, I need to touch the scar with my finger, and I need to draw blood from it. Are those things ok?"
I shivered at the idea of a needle going into the sensitive skin of my scar but I nodded. He leaned in and poked my scar, and I felt the wound tighten under the poke, and he drew back sharply, staring at it. He wrote in his notebook for a second, then pulled a needle and syringe out from his bag. I closed my eyes and cringed, but didn't stop him as he slid the cold metal tip into the skin and drew the blood. After a few seconds, he pulled it out, and I realized I hadn't been breathing, so I took a few deep breaths and opened my eyes. He was staring at the little jar with my blood in it, his mouth open and eyes wide. He slowly pulled out the notebook again and wrote for a long time, his eyes flicking back and forth between the pages and the vial as he turned it this way and that.
After quite some time, he set down the quill and looked at me
"Have you ever noticed anything strange about your blood?"
I shook my head
"No, I-I mean I guess it dries kinda quick, but nothing else really."
He wrote that down and nodded.
"Your blood is alive, it's still squirming in the vial, see?"
He showed me the glass tube, and sure enough, the blood was going in circles, like a dog chasing its tail.
"I believe it is trying to circulate, it's looking for something, maybe your heart, maybe your brain? It's just a theory though."
Mill stepped up and leaned in to take a peek.
"Huh, y'know, I could feel summin' wigglin' when we did th' blood pact, I wunnered wha' tha' was."
He nodded slowly and shook it up a bit, still watching. I shivered again, thinking about all my blood squirming around in me, hunting for my organs. It felt like it was right, like, I could feel it sliding around inside me if I thought about it, or something sliding around at least, and it felt... normal? I couldn't be too bad whatever it was. The doctor touched my head and pushed me pack and I pulled away. He waved at the table.
"I need you too lie down, I need to do something that could be very dangerous if you are moving around."
I lay down slowly and watched him digging in his bag again
"What are you going to do?"
He looked at me and sighed
"Well, I need to make sure it's not a ... well, I need to see inside the scar. I'm going to have to cut it open-"
"Oi! Yew fukin wut?" Cut in Mill "No fukin way, yew touch 'er and I cut yew open ya prick!"
I reached out and grabbed her hand, thinking of the look on her face as we left the church, the pain, the loss.
"It's ok, Mill, I can do it, just punch him if he hurts me too much, ok? I'll heal anyway, right?"
She glared at me, but squeezed my hand and crossed her arms, still holding my hand.
"Yew 'ave one lil' slip an' I swear t' th' gods I'll fukin 'accident' ya..." She growled.
The doctor nodded slowly and looked at me
"Now, this will hurt, I'll be careful, but it will hurt, I just need to see what we're dealing with here, ok?"
I nodded, and he nodded back. I gripped Mill's hand, probably more tightly than needed but she didn't seem to mind, and clenched my teeth. I felt the cold of the scalpel touch my tender pink scar and I hissed and closed my eyes again, my stomach churning.
"Great flames! What are those?!"
I heard the doctor yell, and I opened my eyes through the pain tears in a panic. Mill gasped and held my hand to her chest tighter and I could feel her shaking.
"Wh-what is it?"
I look down, scared of what I might see. There, erupting from my chest, was a cluster of twisting, writhing worms, grey like my skin, but much darker and covered in blood. My wound felt cold, and I could feel the air on the worm's bodies and it felt... wrong, like they weren't supposed to be out in the open. I screamed, and Mill screamed at the doctor who was flapping his hands in horror.
"Ge' tho' things ou' a 'er, dumbass!"
He made a mewing noise and made to grab at them, but only got a grip on one. I cried out again as he grabbed it and jerked away from him, breathing heavily. I kept staring at them, they looked... scared, confused, hurt. I felt scared, confused, and hurt. I stopped screaming slowly, I could head Mill screaming a the doctor, and the doctor being loud, but that seemed to slip away as I stared at the worms.
I breathed deeply, and focused on my cut. I could feel the worms, not 'I could feel the worms inside my cut' but I could feel... through them. I watched them move and writhe and twist in and out of my body, and I realized that I was the one moving, I was the one who was going in and out of my body. I could feel what they felt, sense what they sensed. No, it was different, I wasn't sensing something through something else, it was my own body, the worms were part of my body. I had felt them all along, but I had never known, never used that part of my mind. I pulled them back in, and with a bit of a shock, I realized I could 'close' the door behind them. I watched as they snaked inwards and seemed to melt into my skin, my scar soon blending into the same pink shade it used to be, no trace of them or the cut.
I then noticed the room had gone quiet, with Mill still holding my hand, her face angry but her eyes wide with fear, and the doctor standing away from me with his mouth hanging open.
"I-it's ok, they weren't bad, they are supposed to be there I think, I think they're like, a body part of me?"
I tried to explain. Mill absently dropped my hand and stared at the scar on my chest.
"It... it jus' closed up... right on it's own..." she whispered.
At this the doctor started back to reality and snatched up his notebook and quill
"Thank you, thank you, I'd like to keep you overnight to-"
"NO." Barked Mill, cutting him off
"Ah, yes. Well, I have quite a lot of work to do here, so... Shall we say first thing tomorrow?..."
Mill ignored him and pushed my balled up dress into my arms and pointed at the door. I slipped it on and followed her to the waiting room. She spun around and looked past me at the doctor, writing as fast as he could and said sternly
"No one 'ears 'bout this, or I cut yer nut off, aight?"
He tensed up at that, and nodded once, still writing. She nodded to herself and looked at me.
"Yew need a day? Or y' ok to do some work fer farmer Anayis?"
I thought about it and rubbed my chest. I felt strangely calm, I didn't know what those things were, but they were me whatever they were, and I was still me, so... I must be ok. I smiled at Mill
"Yeah, I'm ok. Let's go get some veggies!"
Those were the last medical tests I ever took. The next set of tests were far less professional to say the least.