Today was going to be a lazy day. A cozy day, a day of reading and relaxing, and maybe making some sweets with the help of a couple of the fairies later. I needed a lazy day; between dealing with Edward, tending to my garden, doing the chores for the townsfolk, and running the sanctuary, I was exhausted.
I leaned back against the soft red cushion on my big chair (or rather, it was human sized, so it was just big to me) and flipped open my book. It was a romance, and I'd been trying to finish it for over a week, but I kept getting interrupted each time I had a moment to myself. Today though, I had no chores, Edward was away somewhere telling a girl he liked that he did not, in fact, want to join her religion, and Altina's rounds weren't over until late, so even if I wanted to, I couldn't see her. I felt a warm feeling in my chest as my eyes traced the page, looking for where I had left off.
There was a gentle rapping at my door.
I closed my eyes and counted to 10, if they didn't know I was here,they'd go away. I opened my eyes to see a young woman in a dark blue patchy dress and floppy wide brimmed hat peering at me from my front window. We stared at each other for a few moments, then she gave a small wave, and pointed to the door.
So much for reading, I suppose.
I opened the door and looked up at her. She was smiling, and had an air of nervous confidence about her.
"Well?" I asked, rudely.
"Hello, green one! I am Etheran, I'm a new witch- I just became a witch recently you see, and I am on the hunt for a familiar! I heard this place would be a lovely place to look for one, if I may come in?..."
I shake my head, confused. "Uh, goblins make terrible familiars, lady, we're too rebellious to form a bond with, and we're too big to force into a bond, and most of us have shit mana pools too, so you wouldn't even get a good boost if you did find one willing to bond with you."
She giggled, obviously trying to lean into a cackle and not knowing how, or having ever heard a cackle before in her life, apparently.
"Not you, green one, your wards! I would love love love ever so much to have a fairy familiar, and all the ones in the area live in your home, so I came to you!"
I crossed my arms. "They're not like pets, they're full on people, you can't just come by shopping for them, lady."
"Oh, no no no! I wanted to ask them myself to see if they were interested! We could make it a contest between the ones that wanted to be my familiar!"
"Ohhh~ like a fashion show! How lovely!" Trimm sang as he poked his head out of his birdhouse over the door.
I glared up at him and shook my head "No, not at all! If you win, you have to spend the rest of your life with some loser who thinks she's a witch!"
Etheran pouted at me "Thinks she's a witch? That's very rude! And yes, a contest! Interviews, showing me your personality, seeing who's the best fit! Doesn't that sound wonderful?"
"I'll get my best outfit ready!" Trimm called as he ducked back into his birdhouse.
"He thinks it's a fashion show, lady. I don't think he's interested in actually joining you."
"THAT was a boy fairy?... No matter, we can just do a fashion show too! I'll need you to help translate though."
"There is no way I'm letting you in my house, especially not to do some dumb fashion show."
"We're doing a fashion show? Goooooosh~ I'll tell the others!" Eralia said sleepily, fluttering out of her windowsill bed and up into the rafters.
"Godsdamnit..." I muttered.
"So..." Etheran mused, watching Eralia go up to get her friends "Was THAT a boy fairy too?"
~~~
I sat side by side next to Etheran at the foot of my kitchen table, her hat blocking most of the light from the small window above us. The fairies were very excited, and had used one of my shirts to make a tent, with the buttons on the front acting as the curtains of sorts. It seemed that two of them, the twins, were too frightened of our new guest and had stayed in their nest. The only two of them that had any sense, in my opinion.
"So, I was thinking we could do the fashion show, and then do interviews, like they do for beauty contests? But instead of asking what they'd do if they were queens for a day, it's all stuff about being my familiar!" Etheran whispered in my ear, way too loud.
"You're going to be disappointed, I assure you"
""Shush, it's starting!"
Sure enough, the shirt/curtains opened up, and Trimm poked his head out, once he knew he had our attention, he threw the buttons apart and strode across the table, wearing a pair of purple leaf pants, a light blue flower petal top with a high collar, and a beret made of lavender fibers twisted together. He strut, and posed, and fluttered his way across the table and back, disappearing into the shirt once again.
"So was that one a boy? The shirt was open on the chest, but the fairy was very... Well, you know..."
"That was Trimm, he's a boy, yeah, but fairies don't really care about modesty the same way we do, they have their own rules."
"her hand "I don't mind, of course! I'm a bit, you know, myself, so, I was just curious..."
I rolled my eyes, this bitch, gods. "Fairies don't have the concept of gay or straight outside it being explained to them, so no, he's just himself. And shut up, they're waiting on us."
Once we stopped talking, Eralia lazily floated out of the shirt, her ice blue wings barely moving as she glided across the table. Her dress, tight and see through, was made by tying spider webs together until they made fibers, then weaving them into a long dress that dragged the table even as she floated three inches over it.
"Oh my word, I can see her- mm. Well, this one's a girl, I can tell that much..." Etheran whispered to me, again, too loud.
"Shut up, lady, and yeah, like I said, different modesty, just shut up and watch."
As Eralia slipped back into the tent, Princa popped out, zipping and twirling across the table, her wings boosting her as she danced and spun, her gold and dark purple tassels spinning fast enough to create the illusion of rings around her. She whipped her long black braid around with her, blurring her face as she spun. As she slipped into the shirt again, I smiled. She was showy, but never overstayed her welcome.
A moment later, Fringe stepped out, shirtless and covered in paint. Splatters of dye covered his one wing, and his pants were sew together from many different colored cloths. He stood, turning in place, the patterns and colors making him look like an egg painted for the spring feast. As he spun back away, Etheran leaned over
"Well, he looked nice, but I don't think he'll work out, only having one wing."
I tried to elbow her ribs, but hit her kidney due to our height difference. She hissed and leaned away from me a bit.
"Don't be an asshat, lady, and for the love of the gods, just shut up."
The next person to come out was Brushtop, and as usual, her short tuft of hair was poking straight up. It was colored orange, and the dye had trickled down around her eyes, making her looked striped. Her skirt was a tulip, upside down, with the base around her waist. She swung her arms left and right, rocking back and forth as she went, her feet hitting the ground every few feet as she leapt. I smiled, she wasn't as graceful as most, but she knew how to look good anyway.
She zig zagged into her spot, and we waited for the next fairy to come out. After a few moments, Eralia poked her head out and called out to me. "Vervex, Cherry isn't feeling up to it, she's going back to her nest, ok?"
I nodded, and watched Cherry slip out the back and fly up into the rafters, her red robes flying behind her.
"What happened? Why did that one go away?" the witch asked, puzzled.
"She's shy, I'm surprised she even joined in the first place, we're down to just two more now."
She nodded, still looking upwards as the next fairy stepped out. This time it was Silran, their arms and legs covered in vines, their midrift plastered in honey and flower petals, and their head covered in the shells of shiny green beetles. They smiled smugly, and walked to the end of the table and back again, no flourishes or dances at all.
"Those... were not clothes..." mused Etheran.
"Yeah, they're a deepwoods fairy, they reject almost all societal structures, including clothes. I guess they wanted to enter anyway though."
Etheran looked pensive, and hummed under her breath as the last entrant made her way out onto the table. Tati, the diva of the group, she claimed to be the queen of the fairies, at least the ones around here, but while no one argued, they didn't really follow her orders either. Still, she had the elegance and drama of a queen, and even I was impressed as I saw her exit the shirt, her white lily ballgown three times as big as her, the collar going up over her head, a crown made of a cogwheel on her head, her cheeks red with berry juice or wine, and her brown hair spilling to the floor. I found myself nodding, even if this was just a fake contest, it was clear who the winner should be.
"My word..." the witch whispered from beside me "She's just like a tiny princess..."
Tati's smug smirk grew at that, and she curtsied, bobbing her head, and twirling once, to show off a bit more.
"Well..." Etheran said slowly "I've picked the ones to go to round two, we can start on the interviews now, right?"
"Picked which ones? Like, you're already rejecting some? That's rude, you don't even know them..."
"Well, doing 8 interviews is a lot, and I know who I hope is a fit, so. Yeah, let's let them know who I liked, ok?"
I would have to make it up to them later, this was bound to crush some spirits... Come to think of it, I'd be making it up to all but one of them by them end
~~~
Trimm, Eralia, Princa, and Tati all stood in front of us, smiling. The rest were sent away, somewhat rudely. I could hear Brushtop crying in her nest a few feet above my head. My stomach turned, but I couldn't control their lives, they had to be allowed to make mistakes and get hurt sometimes.
F"So! Trimm, you'll be going first, the first question is... Would you be ok with someone using your eyes to see out of?" Etheran asked
He blinked, and looked around. "Well... I do that myself already, so I don't think it's a problem?"
"He said he already does, so it's not an issue" I translated.
"I see, I see... Eralia, would you or would you not be up for riding on my shoulder all day?"
She thought about it. "Well... I think holding on would be hard, I would just go in your hat and take a nap..."
"She wants to ride in your hat so she can sleep" I said.
"Ok, ok, interesting, hm... Ok, Princa, if I were to do a spell, and one of the ingredients was something from the woods and I didn't want to go get it, would you?"
Princa shook her head and scoffed "Get your own stuff, giant bitch lady." She said in a haughty tone.
"Yeah, she said no." I summarized for her.
"Damn... ok, last question of round one, Tati, do you think it's better to be scary? Or to be adored?"
"Oh, well I'm adored, and it's just wonderful, I love being myself, and I would hate ever so much to have people scared of me..." Tati said wistfully
"She said from experience, adoration is better." I said shortly.
"Ok!" Etheran said. "Princa is out! She will not be in round two, just three left now!"
"Good riddance, bitch..." Princia called out, flying up to her nest.
"What was that?" The witch asked me.
"Oh, she was wishing the others good luck." I said. Sometimes the fairies were a bit too sharp tongued for their own good...
"Awww that's sweet... Maybe... no, I have my three. Ok, next question! Trimm! Would you prefer to bathe alone? Or would it be ok for me to bathe you myself?"
Trimm's face flushed red, and he shook his head "Ah, no, I'll bathe myself, thank you..."
"Yeah, bathing is rarely done by fairies, and it's a very private thing, almost religious, you'd get a 'no' from any of the fairies here on that one." I said.
"Oh, shit... that's- ok, moving on then, Eralia, if you found a gold piece in the street, would you look for the owner? Or keep it?"
"Oh... my... I would keep it and make it shiny and put it on my wall..." she mused, lost in thought.
"She'd keep it and use it as home decor"
"Home decor? Well... Yeah, ok. Now, Tati, if you had to pick one person to be queen, other than yourself, who would it be?"
Tati thought for a moment, then pointed to me, smiling.
Etheran frowned. "I was thinking she'd pick another fairy... Alright, well, I think we can cut to the end, I think it's obvious, Tati is the winner! Yaaay!"
Tati cheered and clapped her hands, bowing and curtsying in turns. Trimm and Eralia looked upset, but clapped politely before flying back to their own nests like the rest of them had.
"Ok, so! Do fairies need any luggage? Do you need to pack or should we just head out and go get started on the ritual already?" the witch said, clapping her hands.
"Oh, no thank you, I just wanted to prove I was the best one, I don't want to live with you..." Tati said, smiling sweetly up at her.
Etheran glanced at me "What was that?"
I start tidying up the table, pulling my shirt down and putting away the books they had used to make the tent. "She doesn't want to go with you lady, she just wanted to win because it's a contest, she wanted to prove she was the best. None of them want to go with you, they just wanted to put on a big show.""
"Wait, what? That's not fair! I need a familiar!"
"I tried to warn you, maybe go find a cat or something like a normal witch would."
"I really wanted a fairy, this isn't fair, I spent the entire afternoon-"
"You spent MY entire afternoon, now you need to leave. I have to make sweets to cheer up my friends, I can hear a couple of them crying still, so leave."
"Ugh, fine! See if I care, I'll get my familiar one way or another..."
With that she stomped out the front door and slammed it behind her. I watch her go out my window, in case she stomped on my freshly planted garden, but she didn't, and her floppy black hat was soon out of sight down the hill.
"What do you think she meant by one way or another, Vex?" Eralia asked from the windowsill below me.
"She's most likely going to do something stupid, babygirl. It's best to just ignore her, ok?"
"...yeah, ok... I suppose Tati is going to be... a lot... for a little while again, huh Vex?"
I stiffened angrily as I was carried out into the twilight streets and sat on a bench in front of the inn. I sat stewing for a few minutes before Altina exited, Edward over her shoulder, sleeping. She sat down next to me and looked over "You ok 'Vex?"
I laugh gently "Eralia, when is she ever not?