I lay on the soft mat and groaned. It was like being hit in the stomach by a bowling ball, an it wasn't doing anything to help me find my powers. I sat up, holding my stomach and did my best not to glare at Galorna who was standing about fifteen feet away, her arms still up in front of her.
"How was that Candy, did you feel any powers trying to come out?" She called out.
I bit back a rude response and shook my head. "I'm- I'm going to see if I can help Drizti with her power for a bit, this isn't working..."
Galorna shook her head. "No pain, no gain, but ok, see if you can figure anything out. Alele, you're up, I want you to focus on dodging, ok?"
"I still get hit" she whined "I can just skip back before the impact, it still hurts..."
"If your body isn't damaged, the pain wasn't real, let's go."
I tuned them out as Alele shrieked and flew backwards much as I had, and walked over to Drizti on another mat. She was standing with her arms and legs spread apart, eyes closed and her her traditional gnomish head covering discarded on the floor behind her, revealing ear length chalk-white hair that went well with her light grey skin tone. Pink flushed her cheeks as she strained to focus on the twenty or so green lights that danced in the air around her, bouncing up and down.
"So, any luck figuring out what they do?" I asked.
She shook her head, eyes still closed. A few of the lights blinked out. "I-I can move them a little, b-but it takes so m-much energy..."
I watched them dance and waved my hand through one. My skin tingled, but nothing happened "Huh... What have you tried so far?"
She opened her eyes and half the remaining lights flickered out, leaving 6 around her. "Ugh, I've tried making a lot of them, throwing them, using them to block, I've even tried eating them, but they just phase through my mouth. I have no idea what they do..."
I whisked my hand through one, leaving a trail of green mist behind. It faded back into existence a moment later. "Maybe you can combine them? Maybe they're like bombs that need to be triggered to go off?"
Drizti looked at them and tilted her head. "Well... They don't have mass, so an explosion wouldn't do much, and I don't think just making a bigger useless glow-y thing would be any better, but let me try."
She held out a hand and slid one into another, where it stopped, not moving any further.
"It's like a wall, I can't overlap them..." She said. "That's something at least, I know they can't pass through each other."
She slid them apart, and a thin green line hovered between them, connecting them.
"Hey, wait... That's new..." She said, looking up at it.
I reached out and poked the thread, and it was solid. It made a twanging noise like a guitar when I touched it.
"This could be cool, you could trip people with this, right?" I said, helpfully.
"Yeah, it's- ugh, it's still not right though, we're all supposed to have roughly equal powers, and this is nothing as good as time travel..."
"Well... Maybe it's a weapon?" I asked, trying to grab one end, finding it immovable.
"No, you- I have to be the one to move it, here." She said, lowering it and grabbing the other end. Instantly my stomach felt better, like I hadn't been punched by an ogress in the gut 5 times. Drizti gasped and fell over in the fetal position clutching her tummy.
"Oh GODS." She moaned "I think my power gives people their period or something, this is horrible..."
Lucy glanced over at us from the sidelines. "Wait, what?"
"Ah, no, that's not- I think I gave you the pain I got from sparing with Galorna?" I said, unsure.
She stood shakily and rubbed her stomach. "Why in the wrath of the gods would I ever want to take people's pain? I'm the most fragile one already..."
"Well..." I said, thinking about it. "Hey Galorna, come here for a second."
She jogs over, stepping over a curled up Alele on the way. "What's up, did you figure it out?"
"Yeah I think so, grab this for me." I said, pointing at the green stick.
"Yeah, what is it?"
"Ok, Drizti, grab the other end..."
She reached out for it, her hand shaking. "This had better not hurt..." She said, still holding her tummy.
As soon as she touched the glowing green rod, Galorna flinched back, letting go.
"Whoah, ow, what was that?"
Drizti looked at the stick and her eyes widened. "Ohhhhh ok, yeah. This could be handy."
Galorna rubbed her stomach "What happened?"
I answered for her. "She can... send pain from one person to another?"
Alele stumbled over. "Can I send her my pain too? She hits hard..."
Galorna shook her head. "No, you need to keep it, otherwise you'll never get better. I was hitting you at least every two out of three shots, you should be impossible to hit considering that power of yours."
Drizti smiled. "So... I'm actually useful! I can make a line to trip someone, and if you guys get hurt, I just send your pain to the bad guys!"
"Uh, what if the bad guys are already hurt?" Lucy asked. "How do you know we won't get their pain instead?"
"Ummm..." Drizti said, still holding the stick. "I can kinda feel the flow of energy here, I think I should be able to move it at will?"
"Can you just go from one person to another, or does it have to go through you?" I asked.
Drizti looked at Alele. "Um, grab this?"
Alele grabbed it. "Seriously, if I don't get rid of these bruises, I'm going to my room for the afternoon, this is too much."
Drizti looked at the rest of us. "Ok, who want to try to take her pain?"
I shook my head. "Nope, I already felt the pain from being beat up by Galorna once today."
Galorna huffed. "That wasn't me beating you up, if I was beating you up, you'd know it."
"Ok, I- can you try to just send some of it? I know it's gonna end up being me anyway, Galorna still has Candy's pain, and I'm the only one who hasn't sparred..." Lucy said, dejectedly reaching out for the rod.
Drizti held out a hand and focused. "Ok... try grabbing it now..."
Lucy touched the rod, and hissed, cringing back. "Ow, yeah, ok, ok, gods, ok, fuck. That's all of it..."
"Yeah... I'm not feeling any pain anymore, sorry." Alele said, not sounding sorry at all.
"Shit..." Dritzi muttered, the word sounding foreign to her small, high voice. "Well, I guess we'll need to keep practicing, I think I can do it..."
"In the meantime..." Galorna said, looking at me and Alele. "you two are fine again, so... two on one sparring?"
I groaned, but I nodded. I needed to find out my power soon, and if being beat up helped, I needed to try.
"Yeah, sounds good, we'll spar you." I muttered.
"Oh, I hate you for that, just so you know." Hissed Alele as we walked back to the mat. I couldn't quite tell if she was joking.
~~~
Once I got to my room, I pulled off my robe from the showers and changed into my pjs, examining myself as I did. My new bruises were starting to color, but my stomach hadn't, which I supposed meant Drizti actually could move injuries from person to person, not just pain? I threw on some shorts and a hoodie and opened my last moving box, the one full of my miniature model making supplies. I pulled out the set I was currently working on and carefully put it on the table next to the kitchenette. I could eat on the sofa in front of the TV, so I planned on keeping the table as a permanent workspace, it'd be so nice to not have to pack everything up every day...
I pulled out the little boxes of terrain and popped them open. I was working on a snowy forest right now, and the trees I had were plain, and not snowy yet. I dug through the box for my air brush and changed the head. I'd spray a white coating of paint on the tops, then mix glue and baking soda for the snow clumps and spread them on. I had a long, relaxing night of work in front of me.
A knock on my door stopped me as I started to fit the small bottle of white paint to my spray head. I sighed and walked over to the door, opening it. Alele stood there in a long navy dress, with blue lipstick and a gold necklace.
"Really? You're wearing that?" She said, disdainfully looking me up and down.
I looked down at myself. "I'm just hanging out in my room, why do you care what I'm wearing?"
"No," She said condescendingly "you're going out with the team for a first day celebration at the nice restaurant down the street. I already made reservations."
"Wh- You didn't say anything about that..." I said, feeling lost.
"Yeah, I'm saying it now. Get dressed, something nice, and meet me in the lobby. I'll get the others."
With that, she closed my door.
I stood there. I had really wanted to work on my diorama, my body was aching from 'training', I didn't really have anything nice to wear... My stomach growled, and I remembered I hadn't gone shopping for food yet for my new place. I sighed again, and headed to my bedroom to find something to wear.
~~~
"I swear Candy, I say 'something nice' and you take that to mean a sweater? You have no idea what a fancy restaurant is like, do you?" Alele said as we walked down the street, the other girls in tow.
"Even Galorna is wearing those cute slacks and puff sleeve top."
"Hey, what do you mean 'even Galorna'?" Galorna said, sounding annoyed.
"Yeah, that was rude, are you saying just because she's an ogre that she can't dress cute?" Lucy said, sounding like she just wanted to fuel the fire.
"Oh, for-, no." Alele snapped. "I was saying she's all tough and tomboyish and she still out-dressed Candy. You making it about her being an ogre is worse that what I said if you think about it."
"I think Candy looks cute..." Drizti whispered.
"Oni, actually." Galorna said to Lucy.
"What about it?" She replied.
"I'm an oni, not an ogre. We used to be classified as ogres, but since yokai are considered full legal people now too, I'd like to make sure people know I'm actually an oni, which is technically a type of yokai."
I turned to look at Galorna. She did look less ogre-ish than even most half ogres I knew, and her horns were much taller. It also explained why her skin was almost as red as an infernal.
"Oh, shit... Sorry, I didn't mean to- I mean, me of all people should know better than to assume-" Lucy said, flushed.
"Nah, it's ok. Like I said, we were classified as a subtype of ogres until recently, just remember it from now on."
"You know..." Alele offered. "You could talk to the marketing team, try and see if they can get some eastern themes going for you in your promo are, maybe do a photoshoot in a kimono or something? That'd really sell it to the fans. Ogres are old news, but a yokai? On a magical girl team? You'd get almost as much attention as Lucy will."
"That sounds... like I'd be using my heritage as a way to be popular, like I'm selling out who I am to make money. I'm not going to do that." Galorna said firmly.
"Whoah..." Lucy said, staring up at her. "That's... That's super cool of you..."
She looked down.
"I... I kinda want to do that too, just be myself, not go after the attention. Just exist, I guess."
Galorna smiled at her. "Hey, I'm glad to hear it. We're here to save lives first, and you can still be a role model just by existing in the public eye."
Alele snorted. "Ok, yeah, fine, just throw away the two biggest novelties our team has, sure, it's not like we want to get attention and get popular or anything. Anyway, we're here."
"They're not a novelty..." murmured Drizti
I hung back and patted her on the back as we walked in.
"You want to sit next me?" I offered
She looked up at me, searching my face before nodding. "Yeah, ok, for sure. I do like your sweater by the way; I like the dragonfly on it."
I glanced down and smiled. "Thanks, my brother Ted gave it to me for Christmas, I like dragonflies too."
I looked at her outfit. She was still wearing a traditional grey gnome robe, but this one had gold hems and patterns sewn into it, and her matching head covering had two peaks instead of one, laying back in the modern fashion instead of sticking up, with one peak over each of her shoulders.
"I really like your outfit too, you look pretty good, I love how the patterns on your hat match the robe." I said honestly.
She blushed slightly "Well, this outfit is supposed to be for rituals, but it's the only thing I had that was 'nice', otherwise I wouldn't wear this outside of a gnomeish cave cleansing ceremony. We... should go shopping soon, for nice clothes, if that's ok."
I nodded. "Yeah, I'd love to! I never really go shopping, it could be fun!"
The waitress led us to our table, and we found our seats. Drizti could just barely see over the table from where she sat and I frowned.
"Hey, do you need a different chair? I'm sure they have different sizes."
She shook her head. "No, I'll be fine. Thank you. So are you-"
We were cut off by Alele clinking two pieces of silverware together.
"Ok girls, This is a celebration, and we're officially a team today, so this is officially a team meeting. That means the food and drinks will be charged to the team, so don't hold back!"
"Wait, do you have the authority to do that?" Lucy asked.
"Well, I took the liberty of asking Miss Willa for the team's charge card, and she didn't seem to mind, so yes, I think I do." Alele replied smugly.
I looked down at the menu. The prices were outrageous, twenty blessings for a bowl of pasta? Seventeen for a drink? It's a good thing the team was paying for it. Even with my new paycheck and the full month's pay up front I'd gotten my account wouldn't have been happy.
The waitress stepped up to the table. "Hello, may I have your drink orders?" She asked quietly.
"I'd like your finest red, please. And a glass of water." Galorna said politely.
"Ooh, that sounds lovely, for me as well!" Alele said, perking up.
"Should we be drinking?... We're at a work meeting..." Lucy said nervously.
"Oh hush it's fine, everyone drinks at work meetings." Alele brushed her off.
"Ok... then... I'll have- um, cherry and vodka?" Lucy said, still unsure.
"Gosh, there's a difference between wine and vodka, girl." I laughed. Lucy blushed and looked down.
"And for you two?" The waitress asked looking at me and Dritzi.
"Oh, um, just a glass of water for me, I'm only 20." Drizti said shyly.
"And I'll have... Whatever the sweetest wine you have is, and water." I finished for the group. The waitress nodded, and walked away.
"Seriously? You didn't have to tell them, Drizti..." Lucy said, leaning around me to see her.
"I'm only 19 and they didn't card me at all, these fancy places don't do that."
Alele snickered. "Wow, day one as a superhero and you're already breaking the law, very nice, Lucy."
Lucy blushed. "It's a stupid law..."
Galorna reached across the table and patted her hand. "It's ok, I think it's stupid too. I turned 21 like, a month ago, but my first drink was like, six years ago."
"ANYWAY." Alele said. "The reason we're here is to celebrate, but also, we have to discuss work stuff for this to be a work expense, so... When the bald guy-"
"Oori" I offered.
"...whoever, was talking he mentioned that the team leader would be giving a speech at the charity event. He did NOT mention who that leader would be. This means I think we're supposed to pick a leader from among ourselves, and I would like to nominate myself, as I have experience with public speaking and I'll be heading up the strategies with my power already anyway."
She looked at the table and opened her hands.
"Any objections?"
"Um, I think Candy should be the leader, she's nice, and humans are the biggest demographic, and also I just would like her to be in charge..." Drizti said, starting out strong then fading into a whisper.
"Well, Galorna is obviously the best choice," Lucy said. "she's the best fighter, and she's not afraid to take charge either."
"Wait, I don't want to be leader, I'm flattered but I don't think I could ever lead a team, I'm literally just some farm girl." I said.
I couldn't imagine speaking in front of a crowd, or worse, having to give orders. If something went wrong, it'd be on my head, and I did not want to deal with that...
"Well, I wouldn't mind being a leader, I learned a lot of discipline from my training, I could use that and I think I'd do ok." Galorna mused.
"Wait, no, listen, I'm saying I think I should do it..." Alele said "Look, I set up this dinner, I was the first person at the headquarters, I have the company card, I can time travel, bald man gave me a special task for our first mission, I think it's a good fit, right?"
Lucy shook her head. "Nnnno, I think you seem like you'd make rash choices and stuff. Plus Galorna is cooler."
"I... kinda think you're already being a bit bossy..." Dritzi offered.
"Ugh, no, bossy is GOOD for a leader, and, AND." Alele said, holding up a finger. "I wasn't going to mention this, I was trying to keep it a secret, but I'm actually born of noble blood, so like, I'm actually supposed to be called Lady Alele. I have a title, which means I was literally born to lead."
"I hate to say it, but... Aren't over half of all elves technically nobility?" I remind her. "The way elven bloodlines work, and the open marriages, I heard most elves have at least some claim to the elven throne."
She stamped her foot. "Ok, but I'm still nobility, so can we at least vote on it? You can't vote for yourself, that's the rule."
I looked at Drizti, and she nodded back.
"Yeah, ok, let's vote. We'll make a group chat and all send our vote on three, ok?" I said.
We set everything up, and Lucy counted us in. "Ok, everyone has it typed? Alright, one... two... three."
All of our phones buzzed at the same time as we got the messages.
"Ok, one for- wait... Ugh, wait, really?" Alele muttered "No votes? Really?"
She looked like she was going to cry.
"Looks like... three for Galorna, one for me, and one for Drizti." Lucy said, reading off from her screen.
"Wait, Golorna, you voted for me?" Drizti asked sounding surprised, looking up from her phone.
Galorna grinned. "Yeah, you're the healer, and you didn't even consider being in charge, that's a good combo."
"Well, in any case, it looks like Galorna is the team leader." I said, tucking my phone into my back pocket.
"W-well. Good luck, if that's what the people want, I'll follow your orders, Galorna." Alele said, her head high, her eyes shiny.
"I don't know how many 'orders' I'll be giving, but yeah, thank you." Galorna replied.
"So... I guess that's the business stuff done with, right? Work dinner achieved?" Lucy asked "To change the topic before we start fighting, and because I want to, like, 'girl talk', who here is dating someone?"
"I'm not interested in all that right now, I just want to focus on work and stuff..." I said, shaking my head.
"I was... betrothed, but the wedding was canceled when I was chosen!" Dritzi said, sounding a lot happier about it than I'd have expected.
"Holy shit, are you ok?" Lucy asked.
"Oh, it was pre-arranged. I lived in a gnomish community until last month, and we followed allll the traditions, including selling your kids off to be married." Dritzi said.
"That sounds horrible..." I murmered. "Ah! Oh, sorry, not to disparage your traditions, I just, gods, sorry..."
"It's fine, I still follow some of the traditions, I like feeling connected to my history, but... most of them didn't age well."
"I'm guessing 'some traditions' means you'll be wearing those pointy hats everywhere?" Alele asked.
"O-oh, um, no, I'm not that strict, just- I'll get other hats too, but... I would like to follow the head covering part of that tradition... A lot of gnome girls hate having to wear head coverings, so like, if I can make it look cool..." She blushed. "Um, anyway... What about the rest of you, any partners?"
Lucy shook her head. "Nope, I'm single as fuck."
"Elves don't really 'date', we just kind of fuck the people we like without worrying about 'partners', and then marry for power once we find someone who benefits us." Alele said aloofly.
"That sounds pretty elvish, yeah." Galorna said. "I had a girlfriend, but once I became chosen, she got.. uhhh, I'll say 'jealous' and... it didn't end well."
"So... all of you are single, that's very good to know..." Alele mused, smirking. "You know, there's a 40% chance of-"
Seeing the waitress walking towards us, I spoke up, cutting Alele off. "OH HI, yes we are ready to order! I'll have the mushroom lasagna, thank you!"
The waitress frowned, but pulled out her pen and notepad. "Ok, and the rest of you?"
We made our orders, and she let us know our drinks would be out in a moment. I give Alele a narrow look as the waitress walked away. She lifted her hand and wiggled her fingers at me, blowing a kiss.
Lucy looked back and forth between the two of us. "Wait, are you two already starting something? On day one?"
"Ye-"
"NO." I cut Alele off. "I just want to focus on work, like I said. I'm not really her type anyway, I wear sweaters."
Alele pouted. "Hey, I never said I didn't like it, I just said it wasn't fancy. I think sweaters do wonders for making your farm girl body look good."
Galora looked at me and nodded. "Ah, ok, farm girl, that makes sense. You took my hits a lot better than the others, I thought you must have had some kind of physical job."
Lucy rubbed her sore arms and torso and grimaced. "Yeah, I worked as a stock bo- uh, stock girl. The heaviest thing I lifted was a bag of flour. I have no muscle mass right now..."
"Don't feel too bad, even if I have my natural elven strength, Galorna is an oni, and Candy picked up cows all day or something, at least you're still stronger than Drizti, right?" Alele teased.
"U-um, actually..." Drizti said. "I worked in the underground section of the community because I'm a greyskin? So... I actually did a lot of mining and cave work, I'm... I think kinda strong for my size..."
"Aww, never mind Lucy, I guess you should feel bad after all!" Alele snickered.
"Hey, you're still stronger than the average human, right? We have our buffs, and in your magical girl form, you'd be stronger than almost any human!" I offered.
Lucy nodded. "Yeah, but if my base form was stronger, my transformation could be as strong as... I don't know, an orc or something."
"Hey, I'll get you there, we'll do training, every day, ok? I still want to get stronger myself, I want to be able to one vee one a troll if I need to, and that's going to take work. We'll be workout buddies, got it?" Galorna said, giving Lucy a warm smile.
"Oh, uhh, every day?... Yeah, we can try that, I'll give it a shot." Lucy said. She sounded unsure, but hopeful.
"Ok, who had the ice wine?" A waiter asked, breaking in.
"What's an 'ice wine'?" Galorna asked, confused.
"That's Candy's. It's super sweet, it's basically the soda of wine." Alele said disdainfully
He placed a chilled glass with a thin bottle of wine in front of me. As he passed out the other drinks, I poured and sipped. It was still wine, but it was a lot less 'wine'-y than a lot of other ones I'd had. I really preferred a nice spiced sweet ale, but this didn't seem like the place to carry that. I looked at Drizti who was up on her knees so she could reach her water.
"Hey, do you want to try a sip? It's pretty good, it's not too strong either."
She shook her head. "No thank you, but thank you! Maybe a different time."
I took another sip. I'd try to make sure I stayed sober, for her sake. It was no fun being the only sober person in a group. I didn't see any of the others getting drunk, but Galorna had just downed her first glass in one gulp, so it might pay to be aware.
~~~
"It-it-it- I just- I feel shho UGLY, allthetime..." Said Lucy, sobbing into Galorna's blouse.
"Hey, it's ok, I get it, you're not ugly, you're lovely, it's ok..." Galorna said gently as she held her.
"Itsss not like that, im pretty for a mmman, nnot a GIRL, imma girl i just want to be a girl i just want to look like a regular person..." Lucy mumbled, her shoulders shaking with sobs.
"That's why we don't let the 19 year old drink..." I muttered. We were still several blocks from home, and Lucy had stopped walking over a block ago. It was slow going.
"She had three drinks, Candy, that's NOT enough to get her this drunk." Alele snapped.
"She is a human, and a kid, I think three drinks would do it..." Galorna said, patting Lucy's back softly.
"This is terrible, w-what if we get stopped by the cops? And we all get arrested for giving an underage girl vodka..." Drizti said, clinging to the hem of my sweater with one hand.
"No, the restaurant gave her the vodka, not us. They might lose their license, but we'd be fine. Anyway, you're underage too, so... They can't blame you for anything, right?" I said, patting her on the hat.
She fixed her hat, a few strands of white hair slipping out. "Y-yeah, I guess so..."
We walked in silence for a few minutes before Alele spoke up. "How is she, still breathing?"
"Yeah, she's just passed out. She'll be fine. I'll make her something good to eat when she wakes up tomorrow and she'll be right as rain." Galorna whispered.
We arrived at the building, and I held the door open as the others walked in. I followed behind them to see Willa standing in front of the desk, her arms crossed and an angry look on her face.
"Girls, do you know what a public image is? Do you care?" She said, ice in her voice.
"I assure you, we do, this was a miscalculation, we won't be letting Lucy have any more alcohol from now on." Alele said primly, her hands folded in front of her.
"I assure you, you do not" Willa hissed. "I don't mind if you go out to eat, I don't mind if you drink even, but for the gods' sakes, if you're going to have more than one drink, do it upstairs. And if you go out to eat, do NOT go to a restaurant owned by a villain! I got a call from one of the agents that works for SpineSplit saying that his client saw all five of you while she on an undercover mission there. I had to find out from a solo rogue chosen that you were already destroying your reputations within hours of being briefed."
"In her defense, Alele didn't know it was a villain owned place, I'm sure." Galorna spoke up.
"That makes it SO much worse." Willa said, glaring at Galorna. "It is common knowledge. It's in the files on your desktops. It is your job to look into everywhere you go to, know what you're supporting, who you're supporting. You are lucky your faces are only in the chosen database right now and not plastered on a poster somewhere, because if anyone other than another chosen would have recognized you? Your careers would be dead, right now. There would be photos, recordings, most likely an investigation, it's... I..."
She turned away, too upset to keep talking.
"Well, you should have told me this in the meeting we had then. Or, gods, I don't know, asked where we were going out to eat when I got the card?" Alele snarked. "It's not even my fault, this is on you."
"Um, I think it's on you, Alele... At least the restaurant part. The rest of us didn't even know where we were going." Drizti said.
"I admit none of us should have been drinking in public, and I think the fact that they didn't card any of us should have tipped us off to something being off about the location, I think we're all to blame." Galorna said.
Willa turned back around, her eyes wet. "I have been working hard all month for you girls, and you throw it back at me on day one. That can't happen, we NEED to be a team. I need you to think, and I need you to be adults."
She pointed to Alele. "You are on probation, from now on you need to ask someone else before making any decisions or organizing anything."
Alele looked like she was going to burst with anger at that, but she just straightened her back, looked forward into the middle distance.
"And you." Willa said pointing at Lucy. "...Are on house arrest, no going out until next Wednesday. You need to give people who saw your face time to forget it. Understand?"
"Uh, she's... I'll tell her tomorrow." Galorna said, nodding.
"See that you do. As for the rest of you..." Willa continued. "The whole PR team is going to be having a serious meeting about this in the morning, so keep your afternoon free, because once we figure out what to do, I WILL be having a team meeting with you about it."
I felt sick, I just wanted to go to bed, but I felt like I needed to say something too. I opened my mouth, then closed it again, there was nothing to say. We'd fucked up. We weren't just regular people anymore. That was something I'd have to remember for the rest of my life, as long as I wanted to be a magical girl. As we rode the elevator up to the apartments, Drizti reached for my hand and gave it a squeeze. I looked down at her, and she gave me a sad, supportive smile. I gave one back, and wondered if I was up for the life I'd been pulled into, if any of us were.