I sat at the booth in the good park, the one with the ducks, and watched said ducks eating bread with a gusto I couldn't help but envy. I slumped in my seat and fought to keep my head off the table, but the flyers for the Forican Monster's League I was supposed to be handing out looked so, so comfortable... I took another swig of an energy drink I'd snagged from Alele this morning on my way out and grimaced, why couldn't they make it sweeter? Why did it have to be so bitter, was that what energy tasted like? A dwarven lady walked up to me and gave me a smile, and I set the can down quickly.
"Hi, I'm Angel Rouge with Lorgiaia's angels!" I said, far more sweetly than I felt "I'm spreading awareness today about the Forican Monster's League, an organization meant to support and promote equality for people formerly or currently classified as monsters!"
The lady stroked her beard and nodded slowly "I see, I see, are inhumans classified as monsters?"
I pointed to the flyer, where a skeleton- her name was Gruni if I remembered right- was giving a thumbs up "Yup! We fully support them and are trying to fight for them to finally get rights!"
"That's a lovely goal, miss!" the lady said "I adopted- well, I suppose 'adopted' isn't quite right- I'm taking care of a mush that wandered into my yard recently. They're the sweetest thing, and I'm so sad to think just anyone could kill them without a care in the world..."
"Well mushies are on the list of inhumans we want to address soon! We believe they communicate via spores and an underground network, and if we can prove they have a language, they'd be eligible to register!" I quoted from memory
There were so, so so many different inhumans, and I'd had to memorize why we thought each and every one was a potential full person... Even spirits, we had a whole speech about why light spirits of all things should have rights and be considered people. I shuddered to think about what it meant if they were actually people, the number of them I'd dissipated by smacking them with a pillow or blowing on them because they were in my room when I was trying to sleep was... concerning.
"Well I'll take a flyer, and I'll buy one of these lovely flowers, too!" she said smiling at me
Her gaze fell on the doll that'd been following me since early this morning, sitting still and faking lifelessness on the table "And what about these, are you selling dolls too?" she picked her up and turned her around in her hands
"Ah, no." I said "That's Ravel, she's... uh, the booth mascot?"
"She's well made! Very well stitched, I should know, I've been crocheting for twenty years!" the dwarf said, putting her back down "How much do I owe you for the flower?"
"We're accepting any donations, but the suggestion is five blessings!" I said, handing her a lily
"I'll give ten, thank you for your work, and I love your wings!" she said, waving at me
I smiled back and waved as she left, then went back to flumping. I took another swig of the energy drink and sighed "five and a half more hours..." I muttered
"When I decided to blackmail you, I didn't expect you to be so busy..." Ravel said, looking over at me "Your day planner is filled up to the minute..."
"Yeah, well, I am, and it sucks ass." I muttered "I should have let that lady buy you..."
"We both know I'd just be back here as soon as she stopped looking at me." she said "Actually... huh, that could be a good scam, you could sell me like, a hundred times and make like... I don't know, ten thousand blessings."
"You think you're worth a hundred blessings?" I asked her, raising an eyebrow "Nah, I don't think so. I'd say... twenty."
"Fine, so I don't know the value of a 'blessing' yet..." she said "Remember, I'm from another world?"
"Second person I've met from another world in two days, actually." I said, remembering Dahlia "But I think the other one was from a fold, so that's more like... a sub-world, not a fully different world like you."
"Is that common?" Ravel asked "People from other worlds?"
"Yeah, I guess?" I shrugged "It's not not common, but like, it's not an every day thing. It's usually some weird super science thing gone wrong, or some alternate universe version of one of the chosen looking to replace them or something. It'll make the news and everyone will get all excited, then they forget about it."
"So it's not impossible for me to get back home, good to know." she said, rubbing her chin. Or, the round part of her knitted face under her 'mouth', she didn't really have a chin...
"I don't know why you want to go back, honestly." I said "You said you died? It'll be weird if you just show up again and start contacting people who just threw a funeral for you. Plus you don't look the same now, unless you were a little knit doll before you died too."
"I have people I miss." she said plainly "Family, a few friends. And no, I was a regular lady, a human, like everyone in my world. I was tall, boney, kinda ugly... This body is starting to feel more comfortable than my old one, actually."
I stared at her "Your six inch tall body made of yarn and stuffed with rusty wire? That's the body that's more comfortable than your flesh and blood one?"
"Hey, I had... 'issues' with my old body. This one doesn't have those issues." she said, sounding slightly defensive "I miss my boobs, but fuck, I spent most of my life without them anyway, so I'll get over it."
"Most...? How old are you, like fifteen?" I asked, frowning
"I'm uhh... hm..." she frowned "I don't remember, I lost some stuff in Samsara. I know I had a job and a car and an apartment and a degree, so... at least like, mid twenties? I wasn't old, so no more than like thirty or early forties."
"So you're between, what, twenty five and forty?" I asked, rolling my eyes "That really narrows it down. And it doesn't explain your comment about not having boobs most your life."
"Oh, that..." she said "I was a... late bloomer... Took me a while to get where I needed to in life."v
I narrowed my eyes at her, that sounded familiar, Lucy had said something similar once... "Are you trans? You can just say you're trans. One of my teammates is a trans woman, I know what trans people are, Ravel."
She snapped her head to me and sat forward "Oh, really? But- you're all religious and stuff here..."
"What the fuck does being religious have to do with being trans?" I asked tiredly, taking another sip of the bitter lifeblood
"Where I'm from, religions... uh, they kinda hated trans people." she said "You guys really don't care?"
"Most gods don't." I said "They haven't in like at least twenty years. That would be stupid, they'd alienate potential followers. People care though, because of tradition and stuff, and it's kinda un-popular right now to talk about it. Gods might not care if their followers are trans, but they still barely ever choose any trans people to be heroes, it's a popularity sink, usually. Lucy- my trans housemate- has the lowest follower count out of all of us, and she was saying apparently some teams hide the fact that the members are trans to keep follower count up, but... the churches themselves don't give a shit."
"This place is so fucking weird..." Ravel muttered "Yeah, I was trans."
"Was?" I asked "Do you not consider yourself trans now?"
"I have no idea, I don't have a real body. It just doesn't matter as much I guess." she shrugged
"...We gotta get you and Lucy in a room together." I mused
"Why, because we're both trans?" Ravel asked "Wow, ok."
"Nnno, I just want to see you two argue." I said "I think the fireworks would be- oh, here comes someone."
Kiri walked up to us with a smile on her face and curtsied slightly "Hi Candy! I heard you were working over here, and I don't have patrol today, so I thought I'd see if you'l like company!"
I glanced at Ravel. Technically I already had company, but... "Hey Kiri, yeah, there's another seat under the table, you wanna sit?"
"I'd love to, thank you!" she said
As she set up the chair and sat down, she patted me on the back "Ryllis said you've been much more friendly lately, thank you for working on that!"
"Oh, uh..." I said, thinking of how to put it "To be honest, I'm just too tired to care at most events, so it's just been... whatever."
Kiri nodded and fixed her big hat "I guess than makes sense... I suppose being around abominations a lot more helps too, huh?"
"Yeah, something like that." I said "Hey, do you know a lady named Chrissie? She name dropped you to me once and I was wondering what you thought of her."
This was a good chance to find out more info about my- well, 'Comfit's'- new 'boss' and hopefully get to the bottom of how she knew so much about internal GGDS documentation...
"Oh, she lives with us!" Kiri said "She's great, her and her daughter are helping us get a foothold in the activism community. She's always helping us finding new ways to reach out and connect with people, she's got a lot of connections!"
"Ok, yeah, she's been at most of the events we've been to, I just wanted to know more about her, I guess." I said "She always seems to know what's going on, somehow."
"Mh hm, she's always on the computers when she's not being a mom or out at an event." Kiri nodded "She stays on top of all the latest chosen news. We're paying her as an intern, and she's really earning her keep!"
"Cool, cool..." I muttered. Nothing new, just more of the same information I'd already figured out. Still, I wondered if the Unchosen knew she was using their computer to access their GGDS files? I couldn't bring it up in this persona though, I'd already toed the line when I mentioned her name dropping the Unchosen, she'd only done that to Comfit after all...
"Aw, hey who's thiiiiissssss... Uh..." Kiri said, reaching across me as I was distracted and picking up Ravel
She stared at her for a moment, then up at me, then back down at the doll "Um. C-Candy? This doll has a soul in it..."
I flinched, of course a witch would be able to tell a soul jar was holding a soul...
"Hey, don't, uh, don't do anything to the soul..." I said "Seriously, leave it alone."
"But- this- it's a person, why are they in a doll?" Kiri said, looking up at worriedly
I looked at Ravel and waved my hand "She's... I... I have no idea. Ravel, tell her what's up, she can keep a secret, it's fine."
Ravel glared at me and crossed her arms, making Kiri shriek slightly "What the fuck, Candy? I was playing dead, make something up next time..."
Kiri carefully put Ravel on the table "You're like, alive, alive..." she said in awe
"Yeah, died in a car crash, soul pulled out of the rebirth cycle and crammed in a doll in a new universe. It's not as bad as it looks." Ravel said, shrugging
"Holy- that's so illegal, Candy what did you do?!" Kiri hissed "Is this related to your power?!"
"It wasn't me!" I said, throwing up my hands "Look, she showed up like this, I'm just-"
I glanced at Ravel, probably shouldn't tell Kiri I was being blackmailed... "-helping keep her safe!"
"We have a shelter for that!" Kiri said "It's across the street from our base, can't she stay there?"
"I dropped my friend off there way early this morning." Ravel said "Thanks for setting that up. I gotta be free though."
"I'd really rather you stay in the shelter..." Kiri said "You've got enough soul magic in you to warp a whole crowd inside out..."
"People keep saying that, how do I use all this power I apparently have?" Ravel complained
"Please don't try..." I said "If you're really going to be sticking to me as close as you said you would, there's no situation where you use soul magic and I stay alive or in one piece."
"I don't know if you can even use magic without a body..." Kiri said "It needs to have... uh, orifices to come out of..."
"...Never mind, I lost interest." Ravel said, shaking her head in disgust "Anyway, Kiri was it?"
"My full name is Warrior Mage Blinding Crystal!" Kiri said "Kiri is just my civilian name."
"Ok then, Warrior Mage Blinding Crystal, do you know any magic that could send me home to where I belong?" Ravel asked "You seem to know a lot about magic."
"Nnnno, you'd need super science for inter-dimensional travel. Or maybe a sorcerer? You'd need someone who's shattered their soul to cast a spell that strong." Kiri said
"Could you use my soul? Or shatter it then use it?" Ravel asked
"Stop trying to use your soul as a power source." I told her "You're a jar not a person, it won't regenerate like Kiri's does because you don't have the flesh to regenerate it with, you'll just fuck yourself over."
"Yeah, and raising your mana by shattering your soul only works because of the way mana regenerates." Kiri said "Super science is the best bet to get you home. If you don't mind me asking though, your world obviously doesn't have magic or you'd know this stuff from school, wouldn't you be an oddity? Here you're just weird, but in a magic-less world, you'd be... taken apart or something."
"We don't have magic, but we've got weird stuff in my world too." Ravel said "Not everyone believes in the weird stuff, but there's rumors of ancient books that change your gender if you translate them, a virus in Russia that makes you tiny, and even sightings of fairies in Europe. The Russian news is reporting the virus as if it's true, and they said it's spreading, so... I figure I'd pretend to have caught it and say I'm wearing a little mascot suit."
"Ohh... fairies..." Kiri said dreamily "I'd love to see one of those... Maybe I'll come to 'Europe' and see if I can find any, once you find a way home."
"Mm, if you can find fairies, I'll come too." I agreed "I've always loved fairies..."
"Are there not many in this world?" Ravel asked "I'd have assumed they'd be at least a little common what with all the other fantasy creatures around."
"No, they all died out hundreds of years ago..." Kiri sighed "Too many people eating them and using them for healing potions... all stuff that would be highly illegal now. Too little too late..."
"They weren't farmed or anything?" Ravel asked "If they were sought after, why didn't people keep them and breed them?"
"Well, they're little people, so that'd be... messed up to like, 'keep them'." I said "Plus from what the legends say, they just pretty much never had kids, like, they might have a kid once every fifty years, if that, so they just died off as people used them up."
"Fuck..." Ravel said "When I get home I'll find them and figure something out, try and keep them safe..."
"I still think it's dangerous for you to go home," Kiri said "Although at least there you'd be safe from people using you to cast spells."
"Yeah, I just really miss my friends." Ravel nodded
"Well, I'll be your friend, until you go home at least. Now you have three friends here!" Kiri said
"What do you mean three?" Ravel asked
"Me, Candy, and the one you got to our shelter!" she replied happily
Ravel and I glanced at each other. 'friends' isn't what I'd call a blackmailer and her blackmailee, but...
"Oh, yeah, three. That's cool." Ravel nodded
"So Candy, are you busy tonight?" Kiri asked "I was thinking just now- Chrissie's daughter is about the same size as Ravel, we could let them meet!"
"Why, because we're both short?" Ravel asked "Wow, ok."
"Yeah!" Kiri said, unabashed
Ravel frowned, then looked at me "What's the verdict?"
I dug in my wonderful magic pockets, fiddling around past treats and cold metal until I found my notebook "Um... I have this until about three, then I patrol at four until midnight..."
"You're not on the patrol schedule though?" Kiri said, tilting her head "It's Alele, Mourner, and Lucy tonight."
I looked at the sheet and held in a swear. I'd planned on going out looking for Gemia as Comfit while Alele was busy, I had to think of another excuse...
"Come onnnn, it'll be fun!" Kiri said "And I know I'm not taking you away from cuddle times because Alele is busy, so there."
...Gemia would have to wait. I had nowhere to run or hide. I gave Kiri a thin smile "I must have assumed I had patrol because Alele did too. I'll... be there, sure, yeah. Around what time?"
"Oh, I'll make dinner, do you eat steak? We can eat at six, so any time before then!"
"I only eat sweets, because... mm, I have power issues." I told her. Had I told her that before? I thought I had
"We have sweets, I can make a cake too! I gotta go to the store. Um, doll-girl, what do you eat?"
"My name is Ravel, actually." she replied "I haven't eaten since I got here, I don't think I need to, but I'll join you, I don't mind."
"Can the people at your base be trusted with Ravel?" I asked "She's not supposed to be public knowledge..."
"Sure, we're all cool, as long as she doesn't break the law!" Kiri said
"I... won't break the law at the party then." Ravel said
"Yay! Dinner party!" Kiri said, clapping her hands "Let's make it a whole big party, invite the other Angels too, Candy!"
"A... party?" I asked, feeling queasy "Uh, I can- I guess. Whatever, I don't know, I can see."
"Or- um, just a dinner..." Kiri said, standing up and stepping away "Sorry, I just got excited, it's not a party, it's... I'm sorry, I- Please come, any time before six!"
She turned to go, and stopped, turning to look at me one last time "Oh, um. I almost forgot, Galorna wanted me to give this to you..."
I raised an eyebrow, what could Galorna possibly want me to have right now? I was in the middle of the par-
A dart hit me between the eyes and I glared at Kiri. She smiled nervously at me and shrugged.
"Uh, sorry again, and... I guess... one point? I really gotta go, see you around six!" she said
She dashed off through the park, accidentally knocking bread out of a random guy's hands as she blew past. I shivered and hugged my chest, it'd be different this time, it's not a public event, it's not anything anyone dangerous would know about, it's just a party, that's all. Friend party, not a weird party, not a dance party, not a dangerous horrible nightmare inducing-
"You look spooked, what's wrong with parties?" Ravel asked "Do you have social anxiety or something?"
I looked at her and felt a flash of anger at her dumb question and a surge in my body told me to touch her, just as a threat, to make her shut up. I slipped off my glove under the table and reached out to poke her quickly, to taste her. She tasted like... like... hmm. I picked her up and she glared at me and wiggled, her wire spider legs poking out of her soft body into my bare hand.
"What the fuck? Put me down, is it because I asked about parties?" she snapped
I dropped her and looked at my hand, little red spots where the wires had poked me. I couldn't taste her, I couldn't fold her, she was... unfoldable? I knew she was still just cloth, so it wasn't like I could touch skin or fur like I wanted to, but I could touch someone. I felt something poke my cheek and I blinked and focused on the little doll standing on the table in front of me, arms crossed, mouth pouting, long rusty wire poking my face and I shivered, coming back to myself.
"Sorry, just got a little... distracted there." I said, putting my glove back on "I'm just really tired."
I chugged the rest of my drink and took a deep breath. I needed to stop getting foggy every time something happened that reminded me of something bad... And I really needed to figure out why my first response to getting angry at someone was to use my power on them...
~~~
"I just feel stupid bringing a doll around with me like this." I said. "I'm a grown woman."
"Dolls are cool, and I'm like, a trendy doll too. I'm knit, and that's rare. Would you rather me walk beside you?" Ravel asked
I glanced down at her and made a face "I don't want the public linking the two of us, and a doll with rusty six foot long spider legs is super memorable."
I jerked as she poked me with a leg "How do you control them anyway? Are you like a robot?"
"No, I can control my body, which is how I move, and anything I put into my body count as my body. I have a wire frame inside me, so I added more wire and control it like I would my frame." she said proudly "I figured that out all by myself in the middle of a fight!"
"That's... hm..." I said, my mind racing. I could think of a few things I could do with a power like that, but I didn't want to give her any ideas. "Here, this is their place... You can tell because they don't know how painting a building works."
"I kinda like it." Ravel said, looking up at the angles and colors "It's artistic."
"Mm. Well you can look at it later." I said, and walked in to the Unchosen base.
The interior was far different than I'd last seen, the grime and dust was all gone, the reception desk was clean and painted a bright blue color, and turning the corner to the 'garage' area saw it painted and carpeted, with the walls heavily decorated with art and posters of bands and movies. A loft had been built in the upper half of the building, with stairs leading up to it, and I could see a large metal cylinder on it, along with a rack of clothes, some pink and yellow balloons, and some shelves. I looked around the room at the people already here, and gave a half wave and Ravel jumped out of my hand and onto her spider legs.
"Uh, hi, this is... Ravel?" I said, pointing to her
"Yo word up little peep! I've heard a lot about you from Tipsy, you sound chill ay eff!" Dahlia said, smiling wide
"Hello friend!" a small cloth and porcelain clown doll said from Dahlia's shoulder "I'm loving the safehouse so far!"
"I'm glad to hear it, I've been spending the day getting to know Candy here, she's, uh, pretty interesting." Ravel said
"Just you two here for now?" I asked. Kiri mentioned shopping, was I here early? It was fifteen 'till, and she'd said any time before, so... "I'm glad the safehouse is working, I'd hate to see anyone get re-captured and locked back up."
"Yeah, the government fucking blows here." Ravel said "It sucks everywhere, but I hate how little the people in charge seem to care about weirdos like us."
"U-uh, Maud is charging upstairs, Kiri is in the kitchen cooking, and Chrissie is trying to get Inky over here so she can join us." Dahlia said, replying to my original question "Oh, uh, word, yo."
"Wait, so you don't have to talk like that?" I asked
"Talk like what, fool? You dissin' my set of linguistic skills, yo?" she asked, crossing her arms
I shook my head, it didn't matter, it was just annoying. "Drizti is on the way, and Galorna'll be a little later, but they're coming too."
"Yay!" Kiri called out from the small door separating the garage from the back room "More friends for the dinner!"
I left Ravel to catch up with her friend and made my way back there, admiring how they'd broken what was obviously a large room for parts storage into four enclosed rooms, a kitchen with a large table, and a 'living room'. They didn't have a four story tower like we did, but I was very impressed with what they'd done with what they'd been given. Kiri was in the kitchen area, steaks spread out on a pan in front of her as she sauced and seasoned them, and there was a tall chocolate cake under a glass dome on the counter.
"Need any help?" I asked, as one did in these situations
"Yeah, If you could open a can of wild greens and put them in a pot? The cans are in the top left cabinet and the pots are under the cake."
"Uh, sure, no problem." I said, and got to work
"I'm so glad to be able to host something like this..." Kiri said "I love cooking for people, and there's so many people here, aah!"
"Well, a lot of us can't eat, really, I'm just happy to be here and... spend time with you guys." I said. These were all people who were very close to my team, and it was important to spend time with them and build up a connection. There's no telling when I'd need something from them...
"Me, Driz, Galorna, Chrissie, Pendra, and Ryllis can eat the steaks, but Pendra's will be raw." Kiri said "You'll eat the cake and share it with Inky, and then Maud, Tipsy, Ravel, and Dahlia will just be here for company. Plenty of people to feed, and those that don't eat, I'll entertain!"
"That's a lot more people than I'd imagined when you invited me over for dinner..." I said, setting the stove to medium heat and stirring the mushy greens
"Yeah, it's almost everyone in section 247!" she grinned "We're just missing Sera, Lucy, Alele, and Mourner!"
"Fuck, do I really know... fifteen people?" I asked, counting in my head "I don't think I've ever had a, um, I guess friend group that big. Although I guess Inky, Tipsy, and Dahlia don't count yet."
"Friends beget friends!" she said, flipping the steaks over and painting them with more sauce "Stand back, these are going in the oven."
"Oven steaks?" I asked "Won't they dry out?"
"Nope, I soaked them, and in fifteen minutes, I'll pull them out, soak them again, and pan fry them for a finish!"
"Hm, ok." I said "What's next?"
She closed the oven door and wiped her hands on her apron "Um, I was going to make mashed potatoes, but it's the powdered kind, so... I think I'm good on help, want to go hang out with the others?"
"I don't know..." I said "I've only just met Tipsy and Dahlia, I don't know them well enough to really chat."
"That's why you chat, go! I've spent practically all day with them, they're great!" she said, pushing me towards the door
I grumbled, but I walked out back into the garage in time to see the bay door on the far wall open up slowly, revealing a red faced out-of-breath Chrissie on the other side. She had a large metal drum strapped to a handcart, and she shoved it in over the stoop, grunting as she did so. Dahlia pressed a button next to the door and it stopped lifting, and reversed. Chrissie popped her back and pulled the plastic lid off the metal tub.
"Party's here!" she said, waving a hand at the barrel
Inky oozed herself up and 'looked' around the room, the vague shape of a head forming from her mass.
"I'm NK, but people call me Inky." she said, leaning towards me "You are?..."
Ah, right, we hadn't met when I was Angel Rouge... Neither had Dahlia and I, now that I thought of it, I hoped I hadn't been rude...
"Uh, I'm Candy, or... Angel Rouge." I said stepping over to her and Chrissie "It's nice to meet you."
I turned to Chrissie and extended a hand "It's nice to see you too, Chrissie, right? We've met briefly at a few rallies."
"Mm. Just try not to break any of my daughter's legs this time." she said coldly, and I winced
"I- I have a fear of bugs, I'm- I wasn't-" she glared mildly at me, an expression I'd never seen her make before
"...I'm sorry. Yeah, I'll be careful. Where is she anyway?" I asked, looking around
"She's in Ryllis's crib, dawg, she didn't wanna come out 'til her mom got back, for real." Dahlia said, nodding
"So- you actually broke her daughter's leg?" Ravel asked "Jesus Candy, what the fuck?"
I blushed and shrank back, it's not like I'd meant to do it...
"Language!" Chrissie said "I'd like to keep it kid friendly tonight, if that's ok."
"Sorry..." Ravel said "I think Warrior Mage Blinding Crystal wanted me to be friends with your daughter, actually."
"You don't have to say the whole thing, you know." A gentle voice came from above us "You can just say 'Crystal', or even just Kiri. No one says the whole 'Warrior Mage Blinding Crystal' except news outlets."
I waved at Mod as she came down the stairs, her body covered in a new blue, white, and black paint job instead of her old mish-mash of pink, yellow, and black. Her prosthetic was still light tan though, the artificial flesh would be pretty hard to keep painted, I guessed. She walked over to Dahlia and gave her a side hug and nodded at the rest of us, smiling lightly.
"Pendra is a very sweet girl, I think you and Tipsy would be great friends for her." Mod said to Ravel "Tipsy almost met her this morning, but they wanted to go shopping with Kiri and Pendra slept too late."
"I don't sleep at all!" Tipsy said, giving us a thumbs up "I just stay up and think about things!"
"We need to get you a phone..." Ravel told them, shaking her head "That much time in your own head is dangerous."
"My glass hands don't work on the screens..." they said sadly
"I used to have one with a physical dial on the lower part of the fold-out." Chrissie said "I bet that could work! You could browse Cirnet!"
"If you do get a phone, I'll follow for follow." I told them "I'm trying to get my follower count back up after- uh... after..." I trailed off, and the party got quiet for a moment
"After what?" Inky asked, wiggling around "I'm out of the loop here."
"Candy's social media manager was shot and killed a couple weeks ago at an event her and her teammates were throwing." Chrissie said sadly, looking at me with something other than veiled hate for the first time tonight "It made LA lose a lot of traction, and Candy stopped posting for long enough to have lost followers over it."
"It's not really about the followers." I said, trying not to sound like an asshole to all these new people "It's like, if I get the followers back, I'm like- I don't know, she was all about that, so it's like, in her honor, or... something..."
"Well, I hope you get them back then." Tipsy said solemnly "I'll follow you for sure if I get a phone, I promise."
I smiled at them and folded my arms "I'm, uh, gonna go sit down..." I said "I gotta-"
"No no, I get it, go, sit." Mod said, taking my arm softly and guiding me towards the door "We understand."
I hugged myself and sat on the sofa, feeling icky and slimy inside, like I'd eaten a rotten seedmelon. It'd been ages since the party, since Forica, why did I still care? Why did I still feel all gross about it? I wanted to defend myself somehow, but I didn't know against what or even how. I flumped on the side of the sofa, staring at the TV, the menu for some fighting game playing on a loop. I had to get myself the fuck together, why couldn't I just exist? I missed Alele...
"Is she ok?" I heard Inky ask "I didn't mean to pry into her friend's death, she was talking about Cirnet followers, I didn't know..."
"She's... going through a lot." Mod said "Forica's death, her powers not working right, a new girlfriend she can't even touch, the activism stuff is a lot for her too, and... yeah. There's a lot more I can't talk about, but she's really struggling right now, it's best to just let her be and to give her grace."
'Grace', ok, yeah, sure. Let's give the fucked up bitch with no redeemable qualities 'grace', let's see how that helps her out... I really just needed someone to smack me, to straighten me up and force me to stop moping, to stop complaining about my schedule, to stop wanting to taste people- to eat people, and just force me to be a better person.
Fuck, I needed a mom...
...I wondered if my mom would come visit me? It's been... how long had it been? I'd been staying away from her and my brothers because of my haircut at first, but that seemed so stupid and petty now. I think I was avoiding them currently, because... because if I got closer, it'd hurt more when the immortal lady took them away from me? Was that it? That seemed even more selfish than just not wanting to get chewed out and teased for my haircut. It was like I'd written them off, or that they were already dead, and I was just pre-maturely grieving. I needed to remember to call my mom once everything settled down, I wanted to hear her voice, even if she did lay into me for not talking to her for months.
I sighed, and closed my eyes. I lie there listening to Kiri in the kitchen behind me, the conversations in front of me, and the quiet video game music next to me, and I felt alone.
~~~
"Candy? Are you doing ok?" a sweet, high voice asked me
I cracked open my eyes and jumped at the sight of most of the party in the living room with me, I looked over and saw Drizti with her hand on my shoulder, Galorna standing over her, both looking at me worriedly. I sniffed and blinked, realizing I'd been crying and sat up, swallowing the taste of sleep out of my mouth.
"I'm so sorry, how long was I out?" I asked, feeling my face burning with shame
"About twenty minutes." Kiri said "The steaks are just finished and the table is set, you're good, Candy."
"Were you crying?" Chrissie asked, her face torn "I- is there anything we can do?"
"No, just, ignore me." I said, wiping my face "I didn't even know I was doing it, just... my eyes watering from the smells of the food or something, I don't know."
"Do you need me to bring you home?" Galorna asked me "I can come back and get Ravel later, she said she's staying with you?"
"No- I'll bring Ravel home after the- the party." I said, standing up and fixing my sweater "I was just taking a power nap, no need to all crowd around me."
"Once we get home, I'll hang out with you, ok?" Drizti said, hugging my leg "It'll give me a chance to get to know Ravel."
"Y-yeah, ok." I said "That's fine."
I pushed towards the table "Sorry, ok, everyone, let's eat, ok?"
"Oh, let me just get the others, take a seat people!" Kiri said, walking to one of the brightly painted doors that led to the bedrooms
I took a seat at the table and tried to act normal as everyone else pulled up chairs, turned the sofa around, and climbed up onto the table itself to get situated. I couldn't believe I'd cried like that in front of everyone... That was humiliating, I wanted to just curl up and hide, but that'd just make it look like I was actually upset. Everyone standing around and drawing attention to it though? That was even worse. They all thought I was a weak, pathetic baby now, I just knew it. I didn't know how I was going to save face after that...
I tried not to flinch as the door Kiri was at opened up and Ryllis walked out holding the weird bug-human thing Chrissie called her daughter in her hands. The thing- Pendra, they called her- looked around the room and beamed, clapping all four of her hands at all the people smiling at her. She fanned her face and threw her hair back, obviously enjoying the attention. Her eyes landed on me, and she stuck her tongue out, giving me two middle fingers at once and slapping her biceps with her other two free hands. The perks of having four arms, it seemed. I gave her a small smile, but I didn't say anything more. If I had to 'meet' her officially, I would, but I'd just keep to myself now.
As Ryllis walked past Inky's barrel, Pendra gasped and squiggled down to look at the shiny grey slime inside, slapping it with her hand. She turned around to Chrissie and pointed at Inky with a grin on her face, her anger at me seemingly forgotten.
"Pretty! Swim, swim!" she said, pulling on her shirt
Inky's partial face appeared out of the ooze and she shook it "I'm sure you're a great kid, but I don't let anyone swim in me until at least the third date."
"It's not nice to swim in our guests, Pendra." Chrissie said, laughing
Pendra made a face and shook her head, leaning away from the talking goo. "Sawry, not no..." she mumbled
Everyone laughed, and I felt a wave of relief that they were paying attention to her instead of me. She might be angry at me, but she'd just saved my face in a way she couldn't have planned if she'd tried. Who'd remember a couple tears on my face when a kid tried to take a bath in one of the guests? The party had a different big moment for people to talk about and remember, and I was safe. I cut a slice of the cake Kiri had made, admiring the still-moist inside and thick frosting, and I sat quietly for everyone else to sit down. I was nailing this, I just had to make it through dinner.