"Mom, we're home!" [progenitor] called out as she pushed through the familiar front door. The smell of my old home hit me as I went in, something unique, not something I ever noticed, but something that stood out to my new senses as I entered for the first time in over a week. I wondered, did the house smell like this to strangers? Or just me with my enhanced sense of smell?
[progenitor] kicked off her shoes at the door and waked through the entrance hall to the living room, her hand hovering over me in her bag. I could smell her nervousness, and I wanted to help, to hug her and tell her it's ok, but she'd told me to stay in the bag while she talked to Mom first.
Mom? Mom... Interesting, I could use the word when it wasn't aimed at [progenitor], that was weird... Something about her changed the words, I'd have to see if other people using the words effected it too...
"Oh, hello Chrissie!" Mom said as we entered the room. My brain spasmed at that, hearing my name for the first time in my new body. My eyes saw dots, and I tried to hold onto it, to remember it and claim it as mine, but it slipped away in the static and fog that ate all the other words I'd lost.
"Were you able to bring your... daughter with you?" she asked. I tried my best not to peek at her from inside the bag, I was supposed to wait, damnit...
"Yeah, she's in the bag..." [progenitor] said nervously "Now, mom, like I mentioned, she's not all the way human, but she is still my daughter, so please, please, please, be kind..."
"I'll... be ok, I know what kinds of things your uncle makes, and I was married to your father for fifteen years."
"Ok, ok, I'm getting her out, just remember she's fragile, emotionally too..." [progenitor]'s hand dipped down and pulled me out, and I wrapped around her arm to get a better grip. She held me up to mom, and gave a small smile, the nervous smell coming off her strongly.
Mom stared at me for a few moments, and I stared at her. She was on the sofa, and looked... different than I remembered, older, heavier, a little less energy around her. Were my memories of her from an older time? Had the chair blended them together into a composite of her? It felt wrong, seeing her there, looking at me with a face half full of understanding and half full of fear. I swallowed the tears that had built up in my throat at seeing her, at knowing that she's not really my mom anymore, and I waved to her.
"H-hello, little one..." she said in a small voice. I could tell she was scared, the way her eyes flickered, her stiffening back, the way she pulled her hands back into her lap.
"Mom, I'm going to walk over with her, ok?" [progenitor] said "I need you to be calm, ok? She's a fun, silly sweetheart, but she's a little scared of people right now."
"Scared? Will she-" Mom cut herself off and pressed her lips together
"No, she'll hide under the sofa and cry, and be impossible to get out, please, just... be cool." [progenitor walked forward slowly, and I tried to make myself small and friendly looking as we got closer.
[progenitor] got onto her knees, and gently pushed me off her arm onto the coffee table, sitting down beside me. I looked up at Mom and waved again, trying to give a polite smile so she'd know I wasn't a threat to her. She looked down at me, her face looking like she'd swallowed something weird, and waved back at me.
"She looks just like you, in a weird kind of way..." she said
"Yeah, she's my daughter..." [progenitor] replied "all the human in her came from me. She can understand us, you can talk to her. She can't talk yet though, she's still learning."
"H-hello, it's nice to meet you, I'm your grandmother..." mom said, returning my polite smile "I didn't expect to be a grandmother so soon..."
"Hk-kk-k-k--g-g-h-aah-gh-kh!" I said, shaking my head
[You and me both, mom...]
"Oh! Oh, is- was that her trying to talk?" she asked, looking up at [progenitor]
"That was her talking, we think she's talking the way she hears us talking, it just doesn't translate well into her vocal cords" [progenitor] said, stroking my back "She has a brain condition, but we've been watching tv and training with flash cards to build language skills, and we think she'll be able to talk coherently soon."
"That's- oh, Chrissie..." mom said "It's hard work raising a child, and a disabled one at that? You're not even done with your degree, are you sure you're up for this?"
I felt chills go through me and I dashed up [progenitor]'s arm and wrapped around her neck. I wouldn't let her leave me, I needed her, what was mom even talking about? So I couldn't talk, it's not a big deal, I'll learn, she said so!
"Mom!" [progenitor] snapped "Don't say that! She's sensitive!"
She kissed me on the shell and held me as I moved in smooth circles around her neck, my body trailing through her fingers. "She's not any trouble at all, I am more than capable of raising my own kid."
"I'm sorry..." my mother said "I just know how difficult your brother can be, and- well, I just don't want to see you struggle."
"I mean... Unc is helping a lot, he's caring for her most of the time. I'm trying to figure out how to see her daily though." [progenitor] said sadly "He doesn't know much about raising kids, just about tests and training her to smell funny."
"Hh-aah-hhk-k-k-iih-hk..." I pointed out, making biting motions with my hands and teeth
[Well he always knows when I'm hungry, so that's a point in his favor...]
[progenitor] giggled and poked me on the nose "Feeding you isn't the same as being a parent, he's more like a teacher."
"So you can understand the noises she makes?" mom asked, confused
I held up a hand and wiggled it, making the 'eh' face while [progenitor] nodded enthusiastically.
"...I see.. and... I'm sorry it took me so long to ask, but what's your daughter's name?" mom prodded
"Well..." [progenitor] said sheepishly "Unc doesn't want me to give her a name name, we've been calling her the queen, or the progeny. I want to name her though, he just thinks that if we ingrain 'queen' into her head, she'll be more likely to lead."
"That's horrible!" my mother said, shocked "Chrissie, I demand you name your daughter."
"Oop, ah, well..." [progenitor] said, looking taken aback "I have been kinda calling her a name in my head, but it's dumb..."
I twisted around to look at her, intrigued. A name? I'd almost given up on that, was she going to give me a new one? Would it overwrite a part of me even more? I watched her look at me, and she swallowed and chewed on her lip.
"Well? Spit it out!" my mom said "What's her name?"
[progenitor] sighed "Well, it feels all anti climactic to name her here and now, but... I've been thinking of her as 'Pendra', because one of the things used to make her was a Scolopendromorpha, or something like it, I don't remember what he said exactly, but I looked it up later, and it looked kinda like her, and... I saw that part of the name, and I thought it was cute..."
Pendra... I let it go through my mind. It wasn't causing static, it was kinda cute, and it showed her love for me, she'd gone home and looked stuff up on her own time to get to know me more... I felt my chest tighten, and I hugged myself through the [upper shell] I was wearing, the one with the bee, and let myself feel loved and cared for. I closed my eyes, this felt... really nice. [progenitor] was feeling more and more like she was supposed to be caring for me, and this feeling of her naming me, claiming me, so to speak, felt like a declaration that she was going to keep me and take care of me. I sniffed back tears, and tightened around her neck, pressing my upper body into her cheek in a hug.
"Well... I think she likes it..." my mother said softly "You need to pay attention to these things, Chrissie. She's probably been waiting on a name since she was born, if she's as smart as you say."
I hadn't, I hadn't even thought about it until today, but it felt very right to finally have a name, why hadn't I wanted one before? Even though the name was part of my identity as a bug, it still made me feel more human to have...
"I wanted to, mom, but I wasn't allowed to..." [progenitor] said, sounding slightly annoyed "I didn't want to get in trouble and not get to see her."
"Well if he tries to make a big deal about it, then you send him my way." mom said firmly "No grandaughter of mine is going to be nameless."
The front door made and noise, and shook slightly. I perked up, could it be?
"There's your brother, well, I'm going to go start dinner... you said leave some of the steak bits uncooked?" she asked
"Yes please, she doesn't have the ability to digest cooked meat." [progenitor] said "Thank you mom. After dinner we'll talk more, and you can get to know... Pendra a little more, ok?"
Mom nodded and gave me a little smile, not a full one, but one that let me know she wasn't as scared of me as she had been, and stood up, walking to the kitchen to make dinner.
The front door burst open, my little brother finally having unlocked it, and he rushed into the room.
"Where's my baby niece?" he said, flapping his hands "I wanna hold her!"
"Heyyy squirt!" [progenitor] said, a huge smile appearing on her face "She's right here! You can't hold her, but you can pet her! She can understand you too, so tell her about yourself!"
His eyes locked onto me and bugged, his mouth dropping open. He slung his backpack onto the floor and ran over.
"Oh, she's a bug! She's like a big bug! I didn't know people could have kids that were bugs!" he gushed
"We... can't, actually." [progenitor] said "She was made with science! But she's still my daughter, so that makes you her uncle!"
"Whoah... I'm a bug uncle..." he said
I gave him a smile, I'd missed Hiram so, so much, and while it was weird having him bigger than me, and being my uncle- oh, so it was ok to say that when it was the squirt, but not when it was [custodian]?- ...it was still great to see him again. He reached out a hand and I reached out mine, shaking it. His grip was firm, a little too firm, and I pulled back, giving him a pained smile as I wrung my hand.
"Now, you need to be careful, she's not very strong!" [progenitor] said "You can hurt her if you squeeze like that."
Hiram nodded and leaned in close, his eyes still wide "I'm Hiram..." he said "I like to ride bikes, play Lazer Buggies, and I collect cool stuff from chosen!"
"You collect stuff from fallen chosen." [progenitor] corrected him "And just some of them, right?"
Hiram looked slightly guilty "Yeah, only the good ones, like Backhand, or Nettizen or stuff, not ones that hurt people."
I nodded and gave him four thumbs up and a big smile. He was that age where kids were getting into powers and chosen and magic users. Most kids collected merch from the big name heroes, like Chap, Shining Amoure, or Grindslide, but in our household, we had a very strict rule against worshiping the establishment that killed dad. That meant that Hiram's chosen collection was almost all either contraband, homemade, or from before the chosen in question left their churches. Mom would go through his collection from time to time and find what new trading cards, action figures and fast food toys he'd collected, and explain to him why the chosen in question were dangerous, who they'd killed, or why they helped uphold the harmful system. She'd help him sell the ones he couldn't keep, and he'd get to keep the money.
It was pretty heavy handed for an 9 year old, but it was important for him to understand the massive amount of brainwashing that went into making people think that the chosen and the religio-fascist government was a good thing. He didn't quite understand, and he still had a small box of stuff from his favorite hero, Choco-man, under his [nest]. I was pretty sure mom knew about it, but compared to the people with double digit bodycounts like Miss Missile or Tailwhip, a hero that shilled his church's unhealthy breakfast cereal and fought staged crime with his "ChocoBlasts" was a small concession. I wasn't going to tell her if she didn't already know, of course, and [progenitor] wouldn't either.
"Maybe I can show you my stuff?" Hiram asked, pulling on his [upper shell] and bouncing slightly "I don't have any cenintepeed chosen, but I have a bug monster card you might like!"
I nodded enthusiastically, I'd love that! It'd been too long since he showed me through his collection, and I hadn't spent enough time with him outside mealtimes lately because of college, so having an excuse to hang out with him made me very happy.
"Maybe later, squirt." [progenitor] said "Brandy's getting here any minute, and I want her to meet him too!"
"Oh, he is?" Hiram asked "I didn't know..."
I felt my heart flutter thinking about him, my boyfriend... or, our boyfriend. Or- ugh, [progenitor]'s boyfriend. Still, I wanted to see him so, so bad. I wanted to kiss him and crawl all over him and mess with his hair and-
Of course, I didn't know how he'd react to me... I was just as nervous about seeing him as I was excited, there was a chance he'd hate me. Or... he could love me, and decide to date me instead and break up with [progenitor] and-
Well, I didn't know if I wanted that. It'd hurt my and [progenitor]'s relationship for one, and it'd make her sad, and I didn't want her to be sad...
I scurried closer to Hiram and let him pet me, [progenitor] telling him how to be gentle, showing him how to avoid my legs and horns, telling him little facts about me as he ooh-ed and ahhh-ed over the giant bug on his living room table. I preened and posed, I punched his fingers with my hands as he tried to poke me, I crawled up his arm and over onto [progenitor]'s shoulders. He giggled and laughed, and I felt full. Even if I wasn't... [progenitor] (I tried, but I couldn't pull her name into my mind for the life of me), I could still be a part of my family.
The doorbell rang, and I clutched at [progenitor]'s shoulder. She hissed and carefully pulled me off. "Hey, your feet are sharp, Pendra, be careful, ok? I'll go get that..."
She set me on the table instead of bringing me to see my boyfr- Brandy, and that mildly annoyed me, but... Hiram was still here, and I figured Brandy would need a little prepping before he saw me...
"I don't like him..." Hiram whispered to me, as [progenitor] opened the door and the sounds of greeting filled the hall
I looked at him, shocked. Why wouldn't he like Brandy? He was wonderful... I made a questioning motion with my hands, asking him to explain.
"He treats me differently..." Hiram said, frowning "He acts like I'm a baby, but I'm not. I don't like people who treat me like that..."
I wilted slightly. Brandy did kinda see Hiram as a littler kid than he was. He knew he was autistic, so I assumed that influenced how he interacted with Hiram at least a little. He wasn't mean to him, I knew that much, and from our talks about it, he saw Hiram as a little brother, but... maybe he was being a little too gentle, a little too sweet... I wanted Hiram to like Brandy though, he was the man I wanted to spend my life with- or, fuck, the man I wanted [progenitor] to spend her life with... I made talking motions, and pointed at the hallway, he could tell them, right? If he explained, then Brandy would understand!
"...No, I can't..." Hiram said "It'd make him and Chris sad... They're all happy, I can forget it."
I slapped his hand and hissed, pulling out my fangs to get his attention. His eyes widened, and his jaw dropped. I clicked them, and mimed talking, and pointed at the hallway, more strongly this time. I hoped the meaning was clear, he needed to talk to them, it wasn't an option, this was a simple problem, and he needed to let them know.
He scrunched up his face. "Ok... but... I don't want to ruin everything..."
I patted his arm, and made a 'later' motion with my hand. I didn't think saying something now would be a good idea, but later, for sure. He nodded, his face serious and thoughtful. I think I'd gotten my point across, who needed words? This was my baby brother, I could still be his sister, even if I was his niece now.
Brandy stepped into the room, [progenitor] on his arm, a grin on his face, and a nervous look on hers. I took him in, his dark green skin, his bold lips, his wonderfully messy hair, his piercing eyes, his biceps, his confident frame, his sharp teeth that felt so, so good on my legs... Legs that I didn't have anymore... I used that dissonance to focus, and I re-appraised him, as my [progenitor]'s boyfriend, not mine. He was short, but tall for a goblin, he was lanky, but built out enough not to care, he was handsome and had a sharp jaw, but- but... no, he was just handsome... I felt myself tighten up, it was no good, Pendra or [progenitor] he was just hot, exactly my type, my dream boy, and I couldn't have him.
I felt my mind spinning, I didn't want to do 'stuff' with him, whatever [custodian] had done to me had made me uninterested in that 'stuff', but I wanted him all the same. I'd never felt this before, at least, not since I was a child, wanting someone, but not wanting then 'that way'? I was overwhelmed with my wishes to be all over him, to kiss him and hug him, and know him and talk about his favorite movies, and nothing else, it was so, so weird and I was having a hard time reconciling it.
"So... this is the new addition to the family?" he said, giving me a strained grin "She's like... a little you, she's so cute!"
I could tell he was forcing it. He'd stiffened when he saw me, his pupils dilating, his smile getting wider and thinner. Would I have noticed these things before? Was this new awareness, or was I just in a position where people didn't feel at ease around me for the first time in my life? I'd seen it with mom, too... Not Hiram though, he took me at face value, and I loved him for that. I stayed still as Brandy and [progenitor] walked over slowly.
He lowered himself to his knees and looked at me his blue eyes cutting deep into mine, and I could see myself reflected in them. He moved his mouth slightly, like he was going to say something, but stayed quiet. Why wasn't [progenitor] saying anything? Introducing us? I didn't have any way of telling him my name, or telling him about myself, I needed her to do that stuff for me... I flicked my gaze to [progenitor] and her tight lipped smile. She wasn't going to do anything, and my only options were to ignore him, or risk scaring him. I had to do something...
"Kk-k-ks-s-hk-rkh-sh-khkh-..." I said, bowing deeply
[It it lovely to make your acquaintance, sir Brandy...]
I fell back on our old bit of being 'fancy' to each other, making each other laugh by trying to act as high class as we could. His eyes widened further, and he looked at [progenitor] nervously, and laughed, even more nervously.
"Well, she's definitely your daughter!" he said weakly "She's just like you, it's great!"
[progenitor] looked at him, searching his face for something "Well, she was hooked up to my brain for a while..." she said carefully "She's half me, really. Body, instincts, emotions..."
"Wow, modern science, huh?" he said, nodding enthusiastically to hide his discomfort.
Hiram gave me a look, his lips smushed together in a 'told you so' expression, and I felt my heart break a little. Brandy was so, so sweet, why couldn't he just... be ok around me? I was nice, I was pretty. Yeah I had bug parts, but those were pretty too, I had a wonderfully fat thorax, and my leg were so well shined, and I was lovely shades of red and yellow and black... It's like he wasn't even giving me a chance. I felt my eyes well up with tears, and I backed away from him. The love of my life, putting on a show and pretending to like me, just so [progenitor] wouldn't be upset. He saw my face, and his own grew stressed
"Hey, hey, no, look, it's cool, don't be scared!" he said, a half smile on his face "Look, we're all good, right? I'm not scary..."
He wasn't scary, but I was, and that was the issue. Now I couldn't even be sure if he actually thought I was scared of him, or if he was just saying that to make [progenitor] think that, and that his attitude wasn't a problem. I didn't even care, I knew I could trust [progenitor] but Brandy... I thought I could trust him too. After what Hiram said, and the way he faked liking me for her sake, I wasn't sure. How much more of his personality was put on for [progenitor]? He had tried to get us to change our major even after we'd told him how important it was to us to be a super science minion. Our daddy had died in the line of fire because he didn't have help, and we were trying to honor his memory, was that something a loving boyfriend would do? Disrespect our father's memory?
I hissed at him, and backed away further, curling myself in on myself. [progenitor] winced and reached out to me.
"No, Pendra, come here, he's sweet, it's ok." she said gently
"If she's shy, I don't want to force her." Brandy said quickly.
[progenitor] looked at him for a second "She's not shy, she was fine around the squirt and Mom, she's just acting funny..."
"Maybe she's racist?" he offered "I know some dogs don't like goblins and infernals and stuff, it could be like that?"
My eyes widened, and my jaw dropped open, had he really just called me racist and compared me to a dog at the same time?! I made a gasping noise, and [progenitor] looked at me, askance. I shook my head and waved my arms, I was not racist, I just didn't like how he treated me! I was- I couldn't- I-
I jumped off the table and dashed into the kitchen. Mom was less scared of me than Brandy, and she at least cared about me to an extent... I made my way to the side of the counter where she was working, and climbed up beside her. She watched me closely as she twisted squishy white [food] into braids and drizzled spiced oil over them. She made a noise with her tongue, one that said she disapproved, but wouldn't do anything, a noise I'd heard a thousand times in my childhood.
"I take it you don't like her boyfriend?" she asked, eyeing me
"Iii-i-ihh-h-h-k-k-k--gh-kh-ch-sh!" I grumbled
[It's not that I don't like him, it's that he doesn't like me!]
"He's a sweet boy, to be sure..." mom said "But he's not very aware. I'm guessing he was scared of you, and let you know?"
I wiggled my hand. He had let me know, but he hadn't meant to let me know. Mom nodded.
"He's a little oblivious, I don't know what he said or what he did to upset you, but he makes Chrissie very happy, and he loves her a whole lot. He's smart, if a little bit dumb, so maybe give him another chance? See if you can warm up to each other?"
I looked back at the room, where I heard angry whispers between Brandy and [progenitor] making their way into the kitchen and I felt indignant. I shouldn't have to give him another chance, he was bad for her! He was trying to change things, and-...
I rubbed my arms. He was trying to give me a chance despite being scared of me, putting on a brave face for [progenitor] even if he didn't want to, just to make her happy... I didn't want to excuse him treating our brother wrong, but that was him being dumb too, and... even him trying to get us to change majors was probably him being stupid and thinking about our 'safety' or something.
I wasn't forgiving him, I wasn't. But. If he made [progenitor] happy, and he could keep things civil between us, I could be civil too. I sighed and crossed my arms, looking up at Mom.
"Rgh-h-k-ch-gh--k-k..." I muttered
[I guess I'll give him another chance...]
She smiled at me, not quite understanding. I pointed back towards the living room and waved my head to help explain.
"Ah, you're going back out there? Ok then, just remember, if you don't hit it off with him, you can always just stay with me or Chrissie for the evening, ok?"
I nodded and went to move off the counter, but she held up a hand "Ah, wait, I wanted to ask, do you want your meat seasoned? I have some leftover oil from the bread..."
I frowned, did I? I'd heard when I was fed cooked [food] before the chair I'd thrown up, but... I'd never tried it seasoned before... I shrugged and wobbled my head.
"Well, would you like to try it?" she asked, picking up a fork and jabbing it onto a plate nearby.
I nodded slowly, hopefully I'd be ok, but I still wanted to be careful, just a test bite should be fine. She brought the fork over the cutting board, and I saw a tiny bit of [food] on it smaller than my hand. She dabbed it into the leftover oil, and held it out to me. I sniffed it, it was [food] for sure, but it had a weird smell to it too, and I wasn't sure if I liked it... I carefully leaned in and bit the whole chunk of [food] in one bite so my hands and [upper shell] wouldn't get messy, and I chewed it thoughtfully. It was juicy, and it had weird tastes of... something bitter? I liked the juicy part, but it was slimy in a bad way, and the flavor was covering up the yummy [food] flavor I loved so much. I swallowed the bite, and Mom dabbed at my lips with a damp rag to get the oil off my chin.
"So? How was it?" she asked
I thought about it, and shook my head. If I ate much of that, I'd get sick, I was sure of it. Plus I liked the flavor of regular [food] way more.
"Ah, oh well, it was worth a shot!" she said "Now get in there and try to make friends, ok?"
I gave her a sloppy salute and scurried down the cabinet and across the floor to the living room. Mom had adapted very quickly, I guess living with dad helped her get used to super science, but it was still very nice to know she was accepting of me even if it wasn't purely based on my own merits. I got to the little table, and was acutely aware of three sets of eyes on me as I climbed up and stood on the table.
"Are you ok?" [progenitor] asked, sounding worried "Where did you run off to?"
I made biting motions, and pointed at the kitchen, and waved my hand.
She sighed "Pendra, you'll spoil your dinner, I want us to all eat together tonight!"
I pointed at the kitchen and vocalized. It wasn't my fault, mom wanted me to taste test stuff, she can't blame me for that...
"Ok, ok, look, forget about that, Brandy has something he wants to say to you..." she nudged him
"Uh, yeah, hey Pendra..." he said, giving me a small smile "I just wanted to say I'm sorry for acting the way I did. Squirt says I hurt your feelings, and that wasn't my intention, I'm just new to super science, and- I've never seen a bug as big as you before."
I glanced at Hiram, who gave me a solemn nod, and I nodded back. I turned to Brandy, and pointed to my face, my hands, and my teeth, before sweeping my arm wide at the rest of me and shaking my head, pointing back to my face.
"She's saying she's still a person, even if she's a bug too, and you made her feel like just a bug, and it hurt her feelings." Hiram explained for me
I stared at him, he was good at this, I'd have to remember that. I nodded, and held my hands out to my sides, all four splayed out and open and gave Brandy a tight smile.
"She wants to forgive you, but only if you accept her like she is first." Hiram said
"How are you figuring out what she means so well?" [progenitor] asked him as I nodded my confirmation
"My teachers are telling me how to read body language in my classes." he said "And she's using the same nonverbal cues that you do when you talk, so it's easy."
"Damn little man, you're pretty smart!" Brandy said, giving him a grin "That's a mouthful, 'nonverbal cues', huh?"
"I'm doing my schoolwork, everyone does that." Hiram said flatly. "It's just what I do."
"So- um, Pendra..." [progenitor] said "Are we all good? No hard feelings?"
I nodded, and bowed, making my lower hands curtsy as I did.
"Thank goodness..." she said, scooping me up "Come here, I wanna hold you and let Brandy get used to you, ok?"
She moved onto the couch, and Brandy carefully sat next to her. I poked his arm with my finger and he flinched, looking down at me and giving me his 'I know I did something wrong' grin that usually meant he'd make it up to me later with- My heart fluttered and I fought the flush off my face, that was off the table now, so I shouldn't think about it. I pointed at him while [progenitor] messed with the [leaves] looking for the remote, and jabbed a thumb at her, and made a heart with my lower hands, then pointed back at him violently, 'breaking' the heart. I drew my finger across my neck and extended my [fangs] at him, narrowing my eyes.
I hoped the meaning was clear, love her, and if he didn't, he'd have me to deal with. His eyes widened, and he pursed his lips, and nodded. [progenitor] turned back around at this movement, controller in hand and glanced at us. My [fangs] were away, and I smiled up at her sweetly. Threatening your boyfriend? No, couldn't be me...
"Uh, so I thought we'd turn on her favorite shows while we sat..." [progenitor] said, looking between me and Brandy "She likes the public broadcast stuff because it helps her learn stuff, she likes to learn as much as she can."
She flipped on the tv and changed it to the public broadcast channel, where the puppet show I watched almost every day was playing, and the characters were sounding out letters. Or, they looked like letters, I couldn't quite tell still. I was guessing they were letters from context, though.
"Oh, I used to watch this show." Hiram said, sounding aloof "I grew out of it."
He didn't move to get up or look away from the TV
"Well, Pendra is less than a month old, and her brain has only been active for a week!" [progenitor] said "She hasn't had time to grow out of it yet."
"I guess we can watch it. For her." he said, like he was doing me a favor.
"So, uh, you wanted me to get used to her?" Brandy said as the puppets sang a song about vowels
"Yeah, if you could just very carefully pet her, I think you'd get to know her more. Don't touch her legs, they'll grow back when she molts if they get hurt, but it's very painful if you twist them the wrong way, and avoid her horns, they act as an extra nose and they sense movement around her, so they're super sensitive to touch."
My horns were an extra nose? That was news to me. It made sense though, I was wondering how I was able to smell so well lately, I assumed it had something to do with the pheromone training. I watched as Brandy reached out with a finger and carefully stroked my back. His skin was soft and his hands were firm, and I felt him tracing it along my shell, feeling the pressure against my thorax. I tried very very hard not to remember him doing the same to my tummy and legs, before I was like this... I pushed that out of my head and turned my attention back to the TV.
One of the puppets was pointing to a felt squiggle, a vowel, apparently, and singing about all the things the vowel could do. I didn't recognize the symbol, but when he sounded it out, I recognized it as the 'ahh'. I cleared my throat, and tried my best.
"A-hh-hh!" I clicked
Well, that was pretty close, at least... I think I did pretty good. I'd been practicing that sound for a while though.
[progenitor] gasped "Oh, oh! Her first sound!"
I glanced up at her confused. I'd made lots of sounds before, today, even. What was she talking about?
"Her first sound?" Brandy asked, taking his hand off me "What do you mean?"
"She heard the sound on TV, and copied it!" she said, bouncing "She's learning to talk! I knew she could do it!"
She lifted me up so I my face was pointed at hers "Say it again, say 'ahh' for me!"
I frowned
"Ahh-h..?" it was raspy and a little broken, but it was still the same sound. I wasn't saying anything, it wasn't that big a deal...
"Ok, ok this is a huge breakthrough!" she said, hugging me "If she can make sounds on request, she can string together words!"
She set me on the table and looked at me seriously "Ok, Pendra, can you make the sound 'buh'?"
I thought about it, it used the lips somehow, I thought, but I wanted to start words in my throat, where the noises came from, how did I talk with my lips? I played out over in my head, trying to puzzle it out, and sighed. I hadn't practiced this one, she was putting me on the spot. Still, I wanted to try and impress her at least. I squared my shoulders and gave it a shot.
"Ak-hb-lblb-lek..." I burbled
"Oh, that- that was good!" she said "I heard the 'buh' sound in there, it was just a little mixed up! This is good news, I knew these shows were good for you!"
"So... she'll be talking soon?" Brandy asked "It sounds like she's got a long way to go still..."
[progenitor] smacked his arm "Hey, she's doing really well! Were you talking at two weeks old?"
"I didn't talk until I was four." Hiram said matter-of-factly "She's got lots of time."
I tuned them out and watched the puppets. I wasn't 'talking', Brandy was right, that was a long, long way off. The puppets were doing a skit about farm animals now, and while the jokes didn't make sense (or they weren't jokes), I felt like if this show had gotten me this far, maybe it'd help more if I kept watching.
I felt Brandy's hand pet me again as I sat in [progenitor]'s lap and hummed. It felt nice, sure, but I was a little cold. My home was nice and warm and damp, and this place was dry and chilly, even with my [upper shell] on. I looked around, and crawled out of [progenitor]'s lap and over to the arm of the couch, hanging down and grabbing my [leaves] out of her bag next to us. I walked backwards, dragging it up slowly, and pulled it onto [progenitor]'s lap with me, turning in place so I was all bundled up in it, and lay back down.
"Dinner's ready!" Mom called out.
I flumped. I'd just gotten comfortable...
[progenitor] giggled and pulled me out of the [leaves] "Come on, we can cozy up in blankets after dinner, let's go eat!"
"Heck yeah, I love your mom's cooking, I'm starved." Brandy said, standing up
I curled around [progenitor]'s neck and hugged her as we walked into the dining room next to the kitchen. The table was set with some kind of... [food]. There were chunks of cooked [food], and flat pale [food] and lots vegetable [food] and bottles of [nectar] but not the good kind I liked now, the kind I used to put on my... [food], and some [food] that looked kind of like a gooey white sauce, and crunchy [food] for dipping in the white sauce [food], and the [food] mom had been cooking earlier too.
Not for the first time, I was frustrated at my lack of vocabulary...
[progenitor] set me down on a stack of books in a chair, tall enough to see over the table without having to reach, and moved a plate of uncooked [food] over to me, sitting it down in front of me. I clapped, this was what I was looking forward to, but I was still curious if I could try that white sauce later...
"Ok everyone!" Mom said, sitting down "Fix your plates! Pendra, if you could wait a bit until everyone is ready to start?"
I nodded and started to get ready to eat. [progenitor] gasped and her hand reached out, grabbing me around the torso as I lifted my [upper shell] up to my chest to take it off.
"No! No, um, Pendra, we need you to keep your clothes on tonight, ok?" she said
I looked around at the others, slightly embarrassed, but also annoyed. I was a bug, who cared if I wore a shirt? Mom looked concerned, Brandy was holding in a snicker, and Hiram looked very serious. I waved at the plate of juicy, wet [food] in front of me, and plucked at my [upper shell], I'd ruin it if I ate in it! I liked this [upper shell], it was cute...
"I know, um, here..." [progenitor] said "How about you use... this?" she handed me a toothpick
I took it, and my brain rewrote it to [fang] and I sighed. I'd use the [fang], if I had to.... I poked a chunk of [food] with it and lifted it up. It seemed to work ok... I'd just have to lean over the plate while I ate it. I nodded reluctantly to [progenitor] and she smiled and started making her own [food] as I waited on the others.
Dinner was a quiet, polite affair. It usually was with my family, with me- well, with [progenitor] providing most of the conversation topics, about work or school or my- her plans for the weekend, but it was still cozy. My mom chatted with Brandy about his degree, mostly; apparently he was looking into internships too. [progenitor]'s credits finally going through made him feel left behind, so he wanted to get on that, and he was considering trying to get in at the company that did the architectural engineering for Queens Tower. My Mom and [progenitor] exchanged glances at that, and I held in a cringe. Brandy was sweet, but he didn't understand the importance of staying far, far away from chosen. The company that [custodian] 'worked' for was always building things, maybe we could get him hired there...
Once dinner was finished and I was full of yummy [food], [progenitor] stood up and reached over her head, stretching out to help her dinner digest. I did the same, and we stretched back and forth a few times before dropping our arms and sighing contentedly.
Brandy laughed and shook his head "When you told me you had a half bug daughter through super science, I was expecting something horrible and alien, but tail aside, she's just a smaller, cuter you."
'Tail' aside? Excuse me, it's a thorax, and it's very attractive, thank you very much!
"Really? a 'cuter me'?" [progenitor] asked, crossing her arms at the same time I did "I know she's my daughter, but you do not compare your girlfriend to another girl and say the other girl is cuter."
"No- I meant like, cuter like, in a baby way, because she's got bigger cheeks?" Brandy said, waving his hands "I didn't mean it like that..."
I smacked my thorax a few times and got his attention, then ran my hands along it and flipped him the bird.
"Hey, Pendra, No!" Mom said sternly "We don't do that in this house, keep your fingers to yourself."
I re-crossed my arms and narrowed my eyes at Brandy.
"I thought we were past that?..." he said "Come on, I said you were cute..."
"She was hurt because you said her tail wasn't cute." Hiram said, petting me
"Thorax, actually." [progenitor] finally corrected "Not tail. Her tails are actually here." she pointed to the two long thin legs that went off the back of my thorax at an angle. I couldn't use them for walking, but they were there all the same.
"Her tails are actually kind of like modified legs!" [progenitor] said, her smile growing "Her fangs too! She has fangs, by the way, actually technically toxicognaths, but she's supposed to keep them away."
Brandy raised an eyebrow at that, and I pretended I didn't notice.
"She can flex her tails, and while she doesn't have all the right muscle control now, because she's a nymph," [progenitor] continued "she'll be able to grab things with them eventually, and smell with them, and sense movement around her like her horns can do!"
"Oh, wow..." Brandy said "You should be like, an etymologist or something! You really know your stuff."
"Entomologist." [progenitor] corrected him "And I don't actually care about bugs very much, I just care about her a whole lot, so learning about how she works fascinates me..."
"Well, you can be fascinated with her later, I need your help with the dishes, ok?" Mom said, waving towards the table. I glanced up at [progenitor] and frowned. That wasn't usual when we had company... Usually I'd- she'd entertain while Mom cleaned up... She must have something important to talk to her about. I turned to Hiram and Brandy, and vocalized, pointing upstairs.
"Oh! Mom, may I take Pendra upstairs to look at my collection?" Hiram asked "...and Brandy?"
"Ok, I'll send Chrissie up to get you when everything is clean, sound good?" Mom said
"Thanks! Uh, Chris, can Pendra ride on my shoulders?..." Hiram asked carefully
"As long as you don't hold her with your hands, and walk slowly, ok?" [progenitor] said
I climbed onto his arm, going around his neck and resting on his back. He carefully, slowly walked forward, making sure not to jostle or bump me as he moved. I sighed, I wasn't that fragile. I smacked his shoulder and pointed ahead. He jumped slightly, and walked a little quicker, taking me up the stairs to his room with Brandy close behind.
"Here's my room." Hiram said "It's across from Chris's so she can come tell me goodnight when she gets home late."
He opened the door, revealing his room. He'd gotten Mom to 'help' re-do it recently to look more mature, or mature for a nine year old, at least. His [nest] was covered with plain navy sheets, the rug had stars and planets on it, the posters on the wall were of 'serious' movies like Quest of Elves and The Moon Miners, 'mature' things. Of course, he still liked the kids movies he'd had on his wall before, but having classic films hanging up made him feel more grown up, and it was pretty cute that he thought an old cheesy family movie about an adventuring party that featured a character named 'BrambleBrack' was an adult, serious thing. I braced and jumped off his shoulder, landing on his [nest] and waved at him. He gave me what I'm sure thought was a smirk, but ended up looking like a kissy face, and nodded.
"You'll like this, it's really cool..." he said, and pulled a bin out of his wardrobe, opening it up.
Inside was a collection of trading cards, action figures, limited edition candy bar wrappers in plastic bags, and a slew of trinkets and toys. A good amount of it was contraband, like a plastic plate with Flight Risk's face on it. It'd been produced before he fell and took out a city surveillance center, but never made it to store shelves, and as a result, was marked as 'fallen merch' and labeled for destruction. I'd seen all this before, but as he spread it out on his [nest], explaining how Mom had bought a slightly risque ping pong paddle with ArchDuchess on it from a guy in an alleyway, or how he'd traded a stack of hero cards for one of Nettizen from back when he was still a hero going by InfoDump, I couldn't help but feel my heart fill up. Brandy asked questions, I oohed and ahhed at his favorites, and the time flew by as I 'caught up' for the first time with my little brother.
Far too soon, a knock on the door turned our heads, and [progenitor] was standing there smiling, holding out her hand for me.
"Come on everyone, Mom wants to play a board game, we think we found one you can join in on, Pendra, no reading required!"
I clambered up her arm and patted her shoulder, pointing to the pile of stuff the squirt had been showing us. He'd just explained his 'bug monster' card he'd bragged about earlier. It was an abomination named CreepyCruller, one of ChocoMan's bad guys. I guessed since CreepyCruller was a 'bad guy' he felt safe keeping it with his normal collection, and he was particularly proud to show it to me, making sure to let me know that even though CreepyCruller was cool, my shiny hard shell was much cooler than his frosted sugar one.
"Ooh, yeah, he's got a pretty good collection, huh?" [progenitor] said "One day you'll be in there too! Once you debut, I'm sure they'll make lots of cards of you!"
I nodded. Abominations like myself were far more acceptable to like than fallen. Many of us even got our own toys and collectables, so the hero toys would have someone to fight that didn't involve breaking the law and making merchandise of fallen chosen. I'd absolutely get at least a card or two, and if I was famous, I could imagine a really cool life sized toy with wiggling legs and moving segments that I would absolutely buy if it was ever made. I wondered if abominations could get PR reps to help make their merch?... I had never heard of it, but it could happen. I'd need to look into that.
"This game we're playing is one of my favorites from when I was a kid!" [progenitor] said as we walked down the stairs " It's called Slimes. We have to try and eat each other's pieces, we each have three different sized pieces, and the bigger ones can eat the littler ones, and if we get back home with the littler ones in our big pieces, we get to keep them! The person with the most little ones in their base when all the littlest ones are gone wins, it's very fun."
I clapped, I liked that game too- or... I guess our love of the game was the same? I was feeling her fondness of it as if it were mine, but it was still mine, I remembered enjoying it, right? I pushed the confusing mess away from my thoughts and patted her cheek, I was going to kick her ass. My new body had two brains to think with, so I was at a strong advantage here, I'd win for sure.
~~~
I growled and glared at Brandy's home base. All but one of my little pieces were in his base, and I was down to one medium as well. I'd started with three of each for a total of nine, and now, including my big ones that couldn't be eaten, I only had five... I had only captured one of Hiram's and one of Mom's so far, the rest were either still on the board or in other people's bases. It wasn't fair, why was he targeting me? Why was no one else going for his? If they forced him to block and defend his littles, his bigs wouldn't be able to chase me all over the stage like that. I stuck my tongue out at him and crossed my arms.
"Aw, it's ok Pendra, you can't expect to win on your first game!" Mom said "You're still learning, don't feel bad."
I waved my hands and pointed to Brandy's home base, then back at my remaining pieces, couldn't they see he was targeting me?
"Hey, in Slimes, there's no taking it easy or dialing it back, you gotta go for the kill, and I'm sorry Pendra, but you're an easy target." Brandy said, shrugging
"If you're not having fun, would you like to drop out?" [progenitor] asked "You can just watch if you like."
No, if I dropped out it'd make a gap in the home bases and Hiram's base would have a wide open side that'd be easy to attack, I couldn't drop out without drastically messing up the layout, we'd set up the board for five people specifically, damnit. I shook my head and made my move, sliding one of my bigs on the hexgrid until I was next to Mom's area. Unless she left her area, I could scoop up one of her mediums and one of her smalls next turn with one move. Then I just had to get home without being rammed by another big and I'd be doing at least a little better than I was right now...
"Oh, you're getting the hang of it!" Mom said, moving one of her bigs in Hiram's area to block his home base
I rolled my eyes, it wasn't as fun if she let me do it, but... I wanted to beat Brandy. Whatever it took...
The game went on, [progenitor] moving subtly to put herself in the way of his pieces, Mom not letting anyone ram me on the way back to base, Hiram attacking Brandy like he'd been doing all game, still with little success, and after a while, I still had my five, and everyone else was down to similar numbers. The scores weren't great, I was still in third place in terms of points, but if [progenitor] could get just a few more points, she'd be ahead of Brandy, and she'd win... Hiram finally took Brandy's last little piece, and I heard him hiss, with only bigs left, his home was open, and he'd need to guard his area or someone could go into his base and take his captured pieces back, rendering him essentially out of the game. I ate Mom's last little with one of my bigs, and [progenitor] captured Hiram's last piece, tying Brandy for first.
It was down to this, I watched as Brandy blocked off the last entrance to his base with a big, and then there were two, me and [progenitor]. I had my medium and a little, and [progenitor] had a little left. I was four points away from winning, she was tied, and the other's bases were locked down tight. I looked her in the eyes, then at Brandy's pieces, and nodded. I moved my medium parallel to one of her bigs, setting up a chain that'd let her snag both my pieces in one move, then sat back, content. She moved instantly, taking up my pieces, and Mom broke formation, moving to intercept, trying to ram her with a big so she'd drop the pieces, but I blocked, and [progenitor] got the pieces into her base next turn. I moved for Mom's open base, and while she was distracted, and [progenitor] ate her own last piece, a move that instantly removed it from the board, meaning the game was officially over.
"Oh, that is so not fair..." Brandy said "You worked together, just to screw me over! Pendra, you'd rather see me lose than try and win yourself?"
I pretended to think about it for a moment, then nodded firmly. Yes, that's what he got for targeting me.
"We made a good team!" [progenitor] said, laughing "We'll do great in the field, if Unc lets me go out with you. We'll out-play all the chosen and win all the fights, huh Pendra?"
Well duh, the chosen were stupid, they only cared about dumb things like CirNet followers or sponsors, they had brains full of fluff, we'd win every time. I patted her hand, and made an L on my forehead at Brandy.
"Careful, little miss..." Mom said, cleaning the game up "Don't get too comfortable with those hand gestures."
I chose to stick my tongue out at Brandy instead, and crawled up [progenitor]'s arm, yawning.
"Oh, is she tired already?" Mom said "It's barely eight..."
"She's used to sleeping ten to twelve hours a night." [progenitor] said "She's about ready to go to sleep."
Sleep? I wasn't going to go to sleep while there was fun to be had with people I loved. I hissed and grabbed her, hugging her shoulder and shaking my head.
"Well... She's going to fall asleep soon either way, maybe we could watch something? She could sleep on the couch with us, and I'll bring her to bed when I go." [progenitor] suggested
I'd stay up for a movie, that'd be fine. I wanted to watch something with lots of noise though, just in case. I nodded and pointed to the living room, bouncing slightly.
"Hm, I have school tomorrow..." Hiram said "I think I should be getting on my way..."
[progenitor]'s mouth slipped into a smile, and she hid a light laugh. "Ok squirt, that's a good call. Hopefully you get to see us before you leave tomorrow!"
"I'll be up in a few minutes to tuck you in, ok?" Mom said a he waved goodbye and headed on his way
"Let's watch that new movie about the robot invasion, with that one guy?" Brandy said "It was added to streaming this week."
"That 'one guy' is a hero who's church believes that Dryads aren't real people." [progenitor] said "I don't want to support that..."
"Oh, uh, I hadn't heard that..." Brandy said "It's just one guy though, and I'm sure he doesn't believe that, he seems pretty cool."
"I'd prefer to watch something else." [progenitor] said firmly
"How about that one about the infernal who finds out his boss is working for the Northern Empress?" Mom said "I wanted to watch that, and it's based on a true story!"
"Loosely based, yeah, barely." Brandy said "But I'm cool with that, anything with her in it is going to be freaky."
"I'll watch that, for sure." [progenitor] agreed "I'm interested to see how they do the special effects for her. The news videos with her in them look plastic-y, I want to see if they try and copy that."
I held on as the four of us moved into the living room again, and [progenitor] wrapped me up in my [leaves], holding me in her lap as she turned on the movie. It was a standard 'true life' story, a guy played by a guy way hotter than him did stuff that he'd never have done in real life and flirted with a girl he'd never have a shot with in real life. I felt myself slipping off around the time he found the hidden shrine in his boss's executive bathroom, but I had the feeling I knew how it ended anyway, and I let myself doze off.
I woke up later to movement, and lifted my head slowly. On the screen, the Northern Empress was turning someone inside out and pulling him apart into tendrils of flesh, the effects looked... not as good as I'd hoped. Mom's chair was empty, maybe she wasn't as into the movie as she thought she'd be? I heard a sound and glanced up to see Brandy's lips pressed firmly into [progenitor]'s, his hands in her hair, their eyes closed, the warmth of the two of them next to me. I tried not to fill with despair and longing at the sight. Those should be my lips, my hair, I should be the one making out with him... I knew I wasn't in a position to be hurt by it, he didn't know any better, and she didn't either, really. His hand trailed down to her shoulder and dipped down to her chest. She caught it and pulled away from his lips.
"Not in front of Pendra..." she whispered "She might wake up..."
Brandy nodded, and pulled her back in, kissing her deeper this time, and I lay down softly, trying to ignore my tears as I fell asleep again.
~~~
The [sun] was the first thing I noticed when I woke up, shining directly into my face. The real one, in the sky, not the one over [nest] back home. The second thing I noticed was [progenitor], her face a couple inches from mine, still asleep. I looked around. We'd made it to our room, and we were in her [nest]. I was still wrapped up in my [leaves], but I was in her [nest], most of my body on her pillow next to her. It looked like she'd used the [rain box] and changed at some point last night, her plain white [upper shell] poking out of her thick fluffy [leaves] reminding me that I'd slept with my [upper shell] on. I pulled at it to take it off, if she was still sleeping, I was going to get comfortable...
My movement wiggled the pillow, and she frowned, her eyes sliding open. She took a second to focus on me, then grinned.
"Heyyy baby..." she said, her voice thick with sleep "You were really out of it last night, sleep well?"
I thought about it, I was pretty well rested... I nodded, and shrugged pointing at her.
"I slept ok, yeah." she yawned "I stayed up late with Brandy because I don't have to get you home until noon though..."
She looked at the alarm clock, it was covered in squiggles, so I couldn't tell what it said, but she seemed happy enough.
"Well, I missed Hiram going to school, gotta make that up to him, but we still have a couple hours before you have to get home..."
I sighed, and let myself droop. Home was fine, it smelled nice and it was warm and cozy, but... this home had all my favorite people at it. It was going to be hard to go back home after the fun I'd had tonight.
"I know, I know..." [progenitor] said gently "I wish you could stay too. I wish we could do this every day, live like this, I could see you all the time, I'd get to teach you to read and speak, I'd..."
Her eyes welled up "I'd get to be a real mom..."
She sat up, sniffling. "I love you, Pendra, I want you to have the best life ever, and... I don't know that being underground all the time is what that looks like. I did some looking, and I technically sold Unc the rights to you before I even met you, I didn't understand, but I still did it. I can never take that back, baby..."
I remembered something about that, being paid for the 'resulting progeny', signing papers a few days before the chair, the details were fuzzy though. I patted her side, she didn't know, I didn't know, it was ok...
She was openly crying now "I can't even get you if I tried to sue him over you, he owns you, the rights to your DNA, and because I willingly sold the rights to you, I'm not allowed to claim you for a full year, even if he lets me or gives you up."
She turned to me, her eyes red "A year, Pendra! I'm not legally allowed to be your mom for a year, and that's if he lets me have you..."
She sniffed and shook her head "I just... I can't believe I did that... I didn't even think, I just wanted a stupid fucking phone..."
I hugged her thigh, holding her tight and she pet my back "That's a bad word, Pendra, don't say fucking, ok? I'm just upset..."
I nodded and she let out a shaky breath "Gods, I'm supposed to be the mother, I can't have a breakdown like that, I'm sorry baby..."
She stood up and started collecting clothes to change into from her drawers "I'm really sorry, you shouldn't have to deal with your momma's stress..."
It wasn't just her stress though, it was mine, too. I felt the same feelings she did, the loss, the regret, the hatred of that phone... I wanted to tell her it'd be ok, but I only knew one syllable, and there were no words I could think of that just used the sound 'ahh'...
I watched her change into some casual clothes, she had class later this afternoon if I was correct, and walked over, kissing my forehead before heading out into the bathroom she shared with Hiram to do her makeup and brush her teeth. I sat there on the [nest], feeling small and lost for a few minutes before Mom poked her head in, and saw me there, looking sad and dejected.
"Hello, Pendra, are you ok?" she asked, walking in and sitting down next to me "You look like you're thinking..."
I didn't know how to explain it to her, I waved at the room, the [nest], her, and I hugged myself. I wanted to stay here, with the family, with [progenitor], I wanted to live, I wanted to be able to do this every day, the [food], the games, the company...
"I think I understand..." she said "you're sad about going home?"
I nodded, I guess it was pretty obvious when you thought about it...
"Well you'll come back over again, it's not so bad!" she said "We might be able to do this every week, even!"
Every week? I'd prefer every night... Still, if we could do this regularly, I'd feel a lot better about my situation, and Hiram might be able to tell what I was saying well enough to figure out what had happened. I hugged Mom's leg and she carefully petted my human parts, and stood up.
"You can come over any time Pendra, and I'll talk to Halfroot to see about getting you over here more often, ok?" she said, smiling "I want you to grow up with the right ideas in you if you're going to be ruling the world, after all."
I smiled sadly, and hugged myself. I knew I'd be a great leader one day, but it was good she'd thought up an excuse to tell [custodian] so I'd be allowed over. [progenitor] came back into the room and glanced at Mom, and scooped me up into her arms.
"We're heading out, I guess..." she said "It's a good forty minutes there by bus, and we only have two hours. I thought we could get breakfast somewhere close to the base though, and I could show her around the city."
"That sounds good, just keep Pendra close to you if you sit down somewhere, block her into the booth with your body, in case of unkind people, ok?" Mom said as we left the room
"Yeah, that's a good plan, will do." [progenitor] said "Now, Pendra, you gotta stay in my bag again, ok? Just stay quiet until we get to the restaurant and I'll see about getting you some raw bacon at wherever we eat."
I wasn't quite sure what kind of [food] she'd mentioned, but fuck me if it didn't make my mouth water... I must still be able to understand it deep down somewhere, and I remembered liking it. I saluted, and let her bring me and [leaves] to the living room, putting us carefully in the big bag from yesterday. I curled up, and wrapped myself in it. It smelled like her, I'd been in her [nest] last night, not mine, so the [leaves] had a yummy, cozy, her feeling to it, and I hoped she didn't wash it any time soon...
~~~
I sat in the diner, my face just barely poking up over the table, patting my hands on the smooth, slightly greasy plastic surface. We hadn't gotten too many odd looks, but most of my body was hidden by [progenitor]'s legs and torso. I hummed in excitement, I didn't usually get to eat two days in a row, and it sounded like we were going to get a special treat, too! I looked around at the small, cozy diner and remembered the times I'd stop by and get... something before I headed over to [custodian]'s lab. I remembered it being pretty good, but I couldn't for the life of me remember what I used to get...
The waiter walked up, and his eyes landed on me, widening for a moment before snapping to [progenitor].
"Hello ma'am, what can I get for you?" He asked politely
"Hi! Yes, I'd like a chicken sandwich with cheese and could I also get a piece of raw bacon cut up into small squares, with a toothpick?" she responded, smiling
He looked at me again, and pursed his lips. "I'm afraid we can't serve anything raw, it's against the health code...."
"Oh, it's not for me, it's for my daughter!" [progenitor] said, patting my head "She can't eat cooked meat, for dietary reasons."
"It's still against our policy to serve any kind of raw food, I'm sorry ma'am." he said
Really? We came all this way and I'd gotten my hopes up for... nothing? I wondered what the mystery treat would have tasted like, and I drooped, crossing my arms and feeling sorry for myself.
"Oh- you made her all sad..." [progenitor] said, frustrated "Look, can we call it a religious restriction instead of a dietary one?"
"A... religious restriction?" the man asked doubtfully
"Yes, my daughter can't eat cooked food due to religious reasons." snapped [progenitor] "Are you discriminating against her because of her religion?"
"Does your... daughter have registration with the GGDS as a full citizen?" he asked
"What does that matter?" she asked, confused "She's my daughter, she's literally my kid, she has my DNA."
"I... don't doubt that," he said "but due to a few problems we've had in the past, we have a policy to not serve unregistered abominations."
[progenitor] stared at him, her hand going around my thorax protectively "Are... you telling me you won't serve her at all?"
"I'm afraid I can't serve either of you, not as long as you're with her, ma'am." he said, not sounding like it bothered him all that much
She picked me up into a hug and squeezed me. Her voice was thick when she spoke after a few seconds "I see. Well, I'll just have to go somewhere else to find us food, thank you for your time."
She picked the bag with my [nest] and [leaves] up and swung it over her shoulder, still holding me. She walked quickly to the exit, not stopping or turning around for anything. I felt... odd about it. I felt like I had done something wrong, but I wasn't sure what. I had a sticky feeling in me, this was a look at the rest of my life, wasn't it? Even with the registration, assuming I could even get registered as a full person, I'd be showing my papers and ID and being turned away from places just for having a thorax...
[progenitor] walked down the street, still hugging me. I could hear her crying, but she held me tight enough that I couldn't look up and see her face.
"I'm sorry, Pendra..." she said "I just wanted to go out to eat with you like a little family, I can't even do that, I'm a terrible mother..."
"Aw, I'm sure you're not that bad!" a voice said from beside us. [progenitor] jumped, and turned to face the newcomer
I wiggled my way out of her hand to peek around, and I saw a... cartoon character? Or someone dressed as a cartoon character at least. She was a witch of some kind, dressed in light pink and purple, with big stomp-y shoes, a giant hat, and a matching cape. She was wearing a loose button-up, tights under her shorts, and was posing like she'd just stepped into the spotlight at a smalltime musical performance.
"Every mother doubts themselves at times, what seems to be the problem?" the walking pastel paint streak asked
"I- are you a chosen?" [progenitor] asked, her voice hard "Why are you bothering me?"
"I'm not a chosen, but I am a hero!" the lady said "I'm Warrior Mage Blinding Crystal! But you can call me Crystal. I'm bothering you because you're crying, and I'm doing an unofficial solo patrol of the area, looking for people to help!"
So... she was just pretending to be a hero, then? That sounded dangerous, and a good way to get yourself killed. Non-powered people had no business being a part of the chosen world, the only thing in it for them was death and pain...
"I'm crying because this city is discriminating against my daughter to the point I can't even sit down and eat a meal with her." [progenitor] said, backing up "And here you are, pretending to be a hero just so you can uphold the system that's starving my daughter."
Crystal's face slipped, her smile getting strained "I'm not pretending. Just because I don't have chosen powers doesn't mean I can't be a hero. I passed the exam with nothing but my grandmother's magic and hard work, thank you very much."
"Oh, that's the part you hear..." [progenitor] rolled her eyes "How typical of you."
"Well... it's a sore spot for me..." Crystal said sullenly "I worked really hard to get where I am, and the first person I try to help dismisses me just because a god didn't 'choose' me. I don't need a god, I can do everything a chosen can with my magic."
"You don't have enough mana to rival a chosen, you're going to get yourself killed the first time you fight a fallen." [progenitor] said "It's stupid, now if you'll excuse me, I need to go find someplace that will feed my daughter. I promised her a treat, and I'm going to get her one."
"...I have plenty of mana..." Crystal said "Anyway, I can help get your daughter a snack, our headquarters is the one with all the colorful patterns on it down the street, we probably have something there she can eat? It's not like there's anyone else out and about in this crappy section I could be helping instead."
"Don't say crappy, Pendra, that's a bad word."[progenitor] told me pointedly.
She glanced back at Crystal "I got kicked out of the diner down the street because I asked for raw bacon, and they said my daughter wasn't a person because she wasn't 'registered', and I'm not going to a secluded location with a stranger, hero or not. Unless you can change the laws, I doubt you could help."
"I mean, there's only like three places around here that serve meat as it is..." Crystal said "Your daughter really needs to be registered though, maybe I could go with you and-"
"No, we- I'm not doing that yet." [progenitor] shook her head "We need her to be able to talk a little first, she's still a baby..."
Crystal walked over closer to us and looked closely at me "She doesn't look like a baby..."
"Well, she's only a few weeks old, so, yeah, she's a baby." [progenitor] retorted "She's got a condition called aphasia that makes it hard for her to talk, and we're working her through it. I'll register her once she can say a few things."
"You know, you don't have to speak to be registered at a full citizen, one of my friends can't talk at all without a mouthpiece, and she got registered as a full person, first try."
[progenitor] frowned "You're friends with an abomination?"
Crystal nodded and reached a finger out to me. I considered biting it, but... I took it and shook it like a handshake instead "Yeah, she's one of my besties, she's on my magical girl team. Her name is Ryllis. Actually, it's Amaryllis, but that's a mouthful, and she doesn't like being called Amy, so-"
"Is that why you're not scared of Pendra?" [progenitor] said, cutting her off
"Yeah, she's way more human than Ryllis, and I'm not scared of her, so this lil cutie doesn't bother me a bit!" she poked my nose and I pulled back, hissing lightly
"...I've never met a hero like you, you're not like most of the others I know about." [progenitor] said thoughtfully "They'd try to fight me or kill Pendra on sight if they knew she was unregistered. I saw the beginning of a chosen fight near here yesterday that started just because of someone's appearance"
"Well, that's because I'm not chosen!" Crystal said proudly "Wait, I already told you that... But, uh, yeah! I'm just a regular person, fighting to keep people safe!"
"Is it keeping people safe to uphold the system that creates chosen and the conflict they bring in the first place?" [progenitor] asked "If you really want to help, wouldn't it be better to do things that remove the need for chosen instead of helping them perpetuate the cycle of violence?"
"I... I really don't know what you mean..." Crystal said, uncomfortably
"Protest unjust laws, fight back when the churches try and push legislation on people that only helps their religion, help dismantle the idea that we need to follow a god to have value, oppose the idea that chosen are the only ones who can make changes and fix the world, take the power away from the gods by getting people to stop worshiping them, do that stuff and we'll have actual peace." [progenitor] said like she was reciting a book
"You've thought about this a lot..." Crystal said "I- I don't think I've heard anyone argue against religion as an idea before... I mean, I'm a witch, so there's only a couple gods that would even have me, and they're icky, but, like, people need to have religion to stay in line."
"So because you don't have a god... you're a loose cannon that kills people and breaks the law all the time then?"
"No, I uphold the law!" Crystal protested
"For one, that law is flawed and broken." [progenitor] said plainly "And for another, you just said people need religion to keep them in line, but... you don't, and you're following a moral code."
"Ok, ok, but I'm just one person." Crystal pointed out "Do you really think the masses would follow a moral code if there were no gods?"
"I'm another person, Pendra is a third, my family counts too, that's even more. We're all following a moral code, and we don't have any kind of god or authority telling us to. Hell, I don't even agree with the law itself, and I still follow a moral code that largely aligns with the law."
"I'm just saying, if we got rid of the gods, there's a lot of people who would see the lack of chosen as a freedom to do whatever they wanted." Crystal said firmly
"I do agree that there are some people who would cause problems, yes, but if the other people, the majority of people who do follow a moral code and have empathy and basic kindness, pushed back against the ones causing problems with social or emotional ostracization, and deployed community agreed upon punishments in extreme cases, the system would self regulate."
"You're talking about... mob rule, that's what we want to avoid..." Crystal said "If the majority of people want to hurt a smaller group of people, the system you proposed would just encourage that."
"That's assuming it's actually in our nature to want to hurt smaller groups of people." [progenitor] cut back "I would argue that's learned behavior from the people who seek power. Uniting people against a common enemy is a good way to get them to follow you, so leaders try and promote anti 'other' ideas. If we didn't have the people and culture promoting this, I think we'd see the harmful behavior disappear within a generation or two."
"Assuming that's correct, and I'm not sure it is, those two generations before the self correction would be... horrible, anarchy, just- just people fighting, no rule, no laws, just waiting until everything got settled, and there's no way to ensure no leaders would rise up and start the whole thing over again."
"You say 'anarchy' like it's a threat and not the end goal of a perfect world." [progenitor] retorted "If we had enough people supporting the collectivist anarchist idea, we could ensure no one who would want to be leader got enough ground to become a leader."
"This is..." Crystal frowned "I need to do some thinking about this, I know I can argue against the points you're making, I just don't have the information to do it. I need to talk to my friends about it first..."
"Take all the time you like," [progenitor] said proudly "I made you think today, and I see that as a good thing. Maybe we'll meet again, and we can talk more?"
"I... yeah, I'll be around, section 247 is my home and my patrol block, so... I'll see you, I guess." Crystal said, her expression conflicted "I'll look into this stuff, I know there's an argument here, I just need more prep time. I was expecting to help old ladies cross the street, not... argue the validity of the state or whatever..."
"That's fine, but you should always be ready to defend your beliefs." [progenitor] said "I'll see you again soon, I'm sure. I'm just going to take Pendra home now, give her a treat there. Maybe next time we meet you can help us find her a treat, ok?"
"Oh, sorry Pendra, I got caught up in- I forgot about that..." Crystal apologized to me. I waved it off, her being forced to think about the world a little more deeply was worth missing out on a treat.
"It was... interesting meeting you, Crystal." [progenitor] said, pulling me around her neck "I'll see you around, ok?"
"It was interesting meeting you too!" she said "I didn't expect my first time helping someone to go like that, but... I have stuff to think about now, to argue with you next time we meet!"
[progenitor] nodded and waved, walking away down the street towards our base. "She was weird, huh Pendra?" she asked me.
I nodded. She didn't really match the idea of a hero in the way I thought she would, but... she wasn't a dick either. I let myself go limp as I rested in the [sun]. It felt nice, I didn't mind too much that my treat hadn't worked out, but... I was still feeling all torn up about getting [progenitor] kicked out of the diner. She'd wanted to eat, and I had ensured she went hungry, just by being there with her. I couldn't understand why they didn't want me there, I was well behaved, I was being quiet, I was just a little excited for my treat, patting the table a little... Maybe a different abomination caused problems for them, and they had to make a blanket rule? I was disappointed either way.
We got to the base, and the elevator ride was quiet. I heard the hiss of the pheromones being sprayed, and I clicked my mouth in disgust and made my own, mine were better, and they'd get allll over [progenitor], nice and thick. I hummed and hopped off her shoulder as the doors opened, dashing into the main room. [custodian] was on the sofa watching something that sounded boring, but he glanced up when he heard the doors. I ran up to him and made the 'tah-dah!' movement with my hands, grinning and bowing like I'd just won an award. He chuckled and stood up, walking over to me and letting me crawl up his arm.
"Hello little one!" he said "I wondered when I'd see you again, I was worried your mother had run off with you!"
"I wouldn't do that..." [progenitor] said, setting the bag down and pulling my [nest] out of it "I wouldn't get far with her if I did, what with her being all 'unregistered'..."
"Ah, 'unregistered', what do we need the government's approval for?" [custodian] scoffed "She's your child and my creation, we don't need them butting in over it."
"I tried to get her a treat at my favorite diner this morning." [progenitor] said "They threw us both out."
[custodian] looked at her, then at me, his face sad. I nodded at him and rubbed my stomach, showing that I'd never gotten my treat
"Ah," he said "Well... We knew it would be difficult for her to be accepted..." he looked at me "This is why we must overthrow the people who make those rules, little queen, they think with their wallets and their rules, and not with their brains. If they thought with their true selves, they'd know that you are far too sweet to cause them trouble."
"Oh, um, I had something to tell you, too..." [progenitor] said nervously "My mom kind of chewed me out for not giving my daughter a name, so... uh, I named her..."
"...Well, I'd have preferred her to keep her title instead, but she is your daughter, and what's done is done." he sighed "What did you call her?"
"I called her Pendra..." she said "Because, like-"
"Because she shared so many traits with the scolopendromorpha order of centipedes, yes, that's very fitting." he said, nodding "It's a good name, better than most."
"I'm glad you approve..." [progenitor] said, relieved "My mom said she was going to fight you on it if you were mad..."
He snorted, and pet my head "I don't doubt she would... Now, you promised Pendra a treat and didn't deliver, is that right?"
"Well, we got thrown out, and I got in an argument with a weird lady, so I thought I'd find something here."
"How did she respond to being told she wasn't getting a treat after you promised her one?" [custodian] asked
"Kind of sad, confused? I guess?" [progenitor] said
"So she didn't pitch a fit?" he clarified
"No, she didn't, she was just a little droopy."
"Well then, I think she absolutely deserves a treat then, we always have to stick to our word when it comes to her, we need her to know we're trustworthy and we're reliable." [custodian] declared
"Oh, of course, what do you have?" she asked
I wiggled in excitement, was it mangos? I'd been so good today, I wasn't super hungry, so I wouldn't be able to eat much, but if it was mangos, I'd make myself eat it... My legs dug into [custodian]'s arm in excitement and he hissed, pulling me off and setting me on his table.
"I have a treat I know she'll like..." he said, and went to the fridge. I watched in anticipation, my legs tapping the table as he got a small cup and some thing with a squeezy on it out of a cabinet. [progenitor] sat down behind me and patted my thorax, and I did a spin in anticipation of whatever delicious thing was on the way.
"Ok Pendra, take your shirt off, this might be messy!" [custodian] said, bringing over the little cup.
I whipped my [upper shell] off and slung it at [progenitor], bouncing as the smell hit me. It was... ohhh gods, it was [nectar]~... The one thing that could rival mangos as my favorite thing to eat, and I had a whole big cup of it! I hummed and took it from him, my face split in a smile so wide I could imagine the tips of my [fangs] poking out of my mouth. I took a big gulp, feeling the slightly thick, cold, sweet and metallic [nectar] slide down my throat. I shivered, but I kept slurping, the cup spilling slightly, dripping onto my shoulders and down my chest and back, making me feel chilly. I was glad I'd taken off my [upper shell] beforehand, but I couldn't help but wish the [nectar] was warm, warm and gushing... I drained the cup and stuck my head in, licking the [nectar] off of the bottom and sides, then I lowered it, and scooped the spilled [nectar] off my torso as best as I could, licking the drops off my fingers and sighing in pleased contentment.
"Gods, Pendra, you look like a slasher monster!" [progenitor] laughed "You're all covered in blood, it's straight out of a horror movie!"
She pulled out her phone and snapped a picture of me, giggling.
I looked down at myself, it wasn't that bad, I had a little [nectar] on my face and body, so what? I waved a hand at her, dismissing her comment and looked around for my [upper shell], seeing it in [progenitor]'s hand. I reached out for it, and she pulled it away, shaking her head.
"Nope! You need to get a bath first."[progenitor] said
[custodian] nodded "I know the first thing you like to do after eating is go nap or watch TV, and you're not getting that mess all over my sofa or your bed."
I waved my hands, really? Really? I'd just had a bath yesterday, two baths even! I didn't need another one... I'd just gotten my pheromones back up to how I liked them, too... Still, he knew me well, I was absolutely about to go see about watching the TV after this. I let them get the bath stuff together and I thought about the past couple days. It'd been an adventure, not a wild one, but still a little bit much for me. I knew in my head that I'd been out to the surface lots of times when I was still [progenitor], I lived up there my whole life, even, but for some reason, it felt so new and novel this time, like I was getting something out of it I'd never gotten before.
I watched [progenitor] and [custodian] chat about me as they filled my tub, talking about how I interacted with others, my experience playing Slimes, how I behaved, and I felt warm and safe. I really wanted to be seen as my old self, to be [progenitor] again, but this felt like when I'd first tried mangos, this feeling of 'it'll be ok'. I let them put me in the bath and enjoyed the warm [life blood] as [progenitor] scrubbed the [nectar] off me. It'd be a while before I got to go to her house again, maybe even a whole week, but I was looking forward to getting to go back, it was nice to have something to look forward to, to feel like I was a part of my family again.
After my bath, I lay down, resting my head against the pillow on the couch, watching the TV with mild interest. I'd learn my words, I could do that, easy. I'd learned my pheromones in no time, I could do this, then me and [progenitor] would be able to go get that treat. I'd show that waiter, I'd show them all... I felt my head get fuzzy, and I didn't fight it as I dozed off, tummy full, head full, and heart full.
~~~
A few days later, on Saturday, I was lounging on the couch watching my shows waiting for [progenitor] to show up. I'd seen her a lot this week already, but I hadn't seen her yesterday, so I was still looking forward to it a lot. I'd been practicing my sounds constantly, and so far I could make the 'ahh', 'chh', 'kuh', 'hhh', and 'guh' noises on command. Granted, I could already use those sounds, but now I could do them on purpose. This meant that I could effectively say one word; 'hack'. I didn't know how useful that'd be, but by golly if I needed to tell someone to break into a mainframe or chop through something, I'd be ready.
I popped my back and looked at the notebook in front of me. I'd been copying the letters down as I said them, and the page was full of squiggly lines that I couldn't really read, but I could at least remember which was which now, thanks to the copying work. I hopped off the sofa and made my way to my cup, sipping some of the [life blood] that I kept by my [nest]. Saying all those sounds made me thirsty, dried out my throat... The elevator dinged, and I perked up, looking over and restraining myself for once, not rushing over to climb her as soon as she stepped in. The doors opened, and she stepped out, followed by Brandy, who was sniffing his jacket with a frown on his face.
"Oh, come on, it's just pheromones," [progenitor] said "you get more than that on you when you pet Pendra."
I tilted my head, why was he here? Was he an intern now too? He had a bag of something in boxes, and he was looking around like he was uncomfortable being here. I was kind of happy to see him, he was my old boyfriend after all, but it felt weird for him to be in my space like this, almost like he was intruding... I checked to make sure my [upper shell] wasn't stained, and crawled up on the coffee table, waving at the two of them.
"Heyyy Pendra!" [progenitor] said playfully "We're gonna go over your letters today, and if you've been working hard and doing a good job, we're gonna try a new treat, one that I think you'll really like!"
"I'm not sure about that..." Brandy said, making a face. "It's hard to imagine anyone liking that..."
She smacked his arm and walked over to me, picking me up and setting me on the big table "Hey, Unc!" she called out "Where's her workbook?"
[custodian] looked over at us from where he was working and waved his hand "I don't know, I saw her working on it on the couch?"
"Hello Mr Halfroot, it's nice to see your lab." Brandy said politely "I like how rustic it looks, you don't usually see that in super science."
"Ha, 'rustic'." [custodian] said "That's a fancy way to say 'it looks like a hole in the ground'."
[progenitor] found my notebook and flipped through it, nodding every few pages and humming to herself. I was suddenly nervous, was she judging me? Grading my work? I was doing my best, it's not like I could be trying any harder, I wanted to learn as quickly as I could... She got halfway through the book and her eyebrows shot up and walked over to the table and sat down, pointing at one of the squiggles.
"Pendra, what does this one say?" she asked
I looked at it, it was one I'd picked up without her, had I learned it wrong? I'd tried to hard to copy it down correctly... I swallowed and pointed at it.
"Guh" I said eloquently
She nodded at me "And where did you learn 'guh'?"
I shrugged and pointed to the TV helplessly. It'd been one of the squiggles they'd talked about on that show, I saw it, I remembered I could say it, I did my best to copy it, what was wrong?
"So... you learned this one all by yourself?" she asked
I nodded again and hugged myself, she was being really weird about it... Her face slowly split into a smile and she wrapped me up in a big hug, startling me.
"Ohhh you're so smart!" she sang "I can't believe it, I'm so proud of you!"
I sighed in relief and returned the hug. I was worried for a minute... If she was proud of that though, wait until she sees... I wiggled free and flipped the pages until I found the page I'd experimented on this morning. I pointed to the squiggles I was pretty sure were in the right order and mimicked swinging an ax.
"Hha-ackk." I said proudly
She squealed and clapped pointing at the page "Brandy, Brandy, look! She figured out a word all by herself!"
He looked at the page, narrowing his eyes "That's... yeah, that's pretty good, it's kinda spelled funny though..."
"Oh hush, it's spelled how it sounds." [progenitor] said "She's figuring it out, and that's what's important!"
"So what sounds do you know?" he asked me "I mean 'hack' is a weird word to land on as your first word, right?"
I rolled my eyes. I hadn't picked that word, it was just the first one I'd thought of that I could say right and had the sounds for... I flipped through the book and showed him all five of the sounds I'd learned so far, showing him the letters and making the sounds, with him saying them slightly different after me. I fought off frustration with him, he didn't know how hard it was to talk like this, I was having to manually move my mouth and throat for each noise, but to him, I'm sure I sounded kind of dumb.
"Ok, here's one thing I noticed..." he said "when you say 'ch', you kind of slur it, it sounds a lot like 'sh' too."
I pursed my lips. I was trying really hard, and he was just making fun...
"No no, look, I'm saying you can use that to cheat, see?" he said "Look, here's 'sh'..."
He drew a squiggle on the notebook "... and you can use that sound too now, just cut off the first part of the 'ch', and you have a whole new sound, which opens up more than just one word!"
I looked at the squiggle and copied it over next to his while I sounded out the noise slowly.
"Ch-ch... Shhhh." I hissed carefully. It was very close, and it was a whole new sound, but what words could I use with it? I pointed to the word I already had and shrugged at him, asking for help.
"Oh, uhh..." he said "You could say... 'cash', or... uh...'shack'... or... I guess 'shag'..."
"I don't know if I want you teaching her words, Brandy..." [progenitor] said, frowning
"I taught her a new sound! I just can't think of anything else off the top of my head!" he protested.
I focused and drew the right squiggles on the notebook, and looked at them carefully.
"K-kahhshh..." I managed to get out.
"Good job! That's one more word! Now, if you-" [progenitor] started. I ignored her, copying the other words Brandy had mentioned down into the notebook too. I didn't want to lose them...
"Shhhahhk..." I said "Shhhahhhg..."
"Uh, yes, those are also words you know, um, let's just move on to the next thing, ok?" [progenitor] said "I got a couple things that I think you'll like, but the first one is..."
She dug in her bag "Tah dah! Mom helped me make this!"
It was a pastel pink and yellow [upper shell], in my size, made of some kind of fluffy knit material. It looked warm, so, so warm... I held my hands out to grab it, but she pulled it away from me "Nope! After you eat! I don't want it getting stained!"
"Oh, are we doing food, then?" Brandy asked "Should I get out the stuff?"
"Yup!" [progenitor] chirped "She's done very well on her letters, I'd like to reward that! Go set it up on the counter, ok?"
"Yes ma'am, will do" Brandy said, moving away from the table and over to the other bags.
I looked at [progenitor] and shrugged, was it something weird? Was he cooking something? I couldn't really eat cooked stuff...
She smiled and closed my notebook. "You'll see, it's fun!"
I heard chopping and smelled a familiar smell, mangos... If that was the reward, it was already amazing! I tried to see around Brandy's shape as he moved left and right, pulling things out of a bag and putting them on the counter and I pulled at [progenitor]'s arm, I wanted to go see! She shook her head and pet me softly, humming me a song I recognized from... somewhere, our childhood, maybe? I couldn't be sure, but it was familiar, so I hummed along. She trailed off, and I kept going, humming the soft tune as I watched Brandy do whatever he was doing at the counter. I looked at her, and saw a look of intense study on her face, she stared at me with more awareness than she ever had, and I backed away, slightly afraid.
"You're... you're like a little slice of my mind, aren't you?" she said quietly "I know you're my daughter, but it's deeper than that, you've got part of me in there too, don't you? I've seen glimpses of it before, but that song..."
I felt a chill, a spike of cold through my spine. I'd wanted this, I'd been trying for exactly this scenario, why was it so scary for her to see through me like this? I swallowed, and nodded, making movements to show my head and hers were connected.
"Do you remember where that song comes from?" she asked
I shook my head, it was familiar, I knew it was important, but I couldn't remember much more than that.
"Daddy wrote that song for me, when I was first starting school." she said in a near whisper "Even if you got my basic knowledge, that's a deeply personal memory... How much of me is in you, really?"
I opened my mouth, and closed it again. I couldn't talk, what was I doing? I wanted to tell her 'I have everything! I'm you! My mind is yours!' but... I still couldn't remember daddy writing us that song. I knew the song, but if she was remembering the origin and I wasn't, did that mean I didn't get all of her? My eyes filled with tears and I flapped my hands, I didn't know, I just didn't know anymore, was I [progenitor]? I remembered sitting in the chair, I remembered kissing Brandy, I remembered all the stuff I cared about, my family, my school, my life, but did I really? Or did I remember the broad strokes and my brains filled in the gaps?
"Hey, babygirl, it's ok, hush, hush, it's ok, don't cry..." [progenitor] said softly "You're not in trouble, I just want to know what we're dealing with here... Do you have some of my memories?"
I sniffled and nodded quickly, I did, I finally got to tell her! I felt scared and upset and relieved all at once, would this change things? Would she still see herself as my [progenitor]? I needed her to be there for me, I couldn't do it alone...
"...But not all of them, just some?" she clarified "You remember the song, but not daddy writing it with me?"
I thought back, and thought hard, but I couldn't bring up that memory, it's like it never happened. I could imagine it, but I couldn't remember it at all. I shook my head and hugged myself again, rubbing my lower arms.
"That... must be frustrating." she said "Do you remember... the fourth grade talent show?"
I thought back and found nothing there, did we have a talent show in the fourth grade? I remembered one of my friends from back then, Chelsea or something, but not being in a talent show... I shook my head again, and looked down at the table.
"Ok, hm, do you remember prom?" she asked
I did! I remembered... oh... I remembered we'd had one, it was... dark, and gloomy, and we didn't have a date, but I couldn't pull up any details. I wiggled my hand in a 'kinda' way and shrugged, wiping my face of tears. In the background, the blender cut on, and I flinched, already feeling fragile.
"Interesting... alright did you remember the family before I introduced you to them?" she asked gently
I nodded enthusiastically, and pointed to Brandy too, giving a thumbs up.
"And... you remember Brandy too, ok. So why were you fighting with him when you met? I love him, if you had my memories of him, you should have too, but you seemed to butt heads instantly."
I waved my hands, I didn't know, it was... he treated me wrong? He was kinda dumb? He didn't understand important things?
"That's... that's a good sign, though, it means you and I are distinct. If we were too close, you might have been registered as a subset of me when we took you in..." she muttered "Gods, this- this must have been so confusing for you, having all the wrong memories? Not being sure which ones were yours? I'm sorry you're dealing with that, babygirl..."
I frowned at her. There'd been no confusion, just because the memories hadn't happened to this body didn't make them less mine, they were still my memories. Just the older ones were... fuzzy still, the crown must not have dug that deep or something. Just because I was missing some of the baseline stuff though didn't mean I wasn't still me.
"Pendra- I-" she started "Oh, if you remember parts of being me, is Pendra ok? Or should I call you, I don't know, Chris or something?"
I waved my hands, and pointed to myself, putting my palms on my chest. I was me, I was Pendra, that was a good name.
"Ok, so... Pendra?" she clarified. I nodded
"That answers the next question..." she said "Um, next up, do you... see yourself as my daughter? Or is it different?"
I reeled back, aghast, of course I saw myself as her daughter! She was [progenitor]! I rushed forward and hugged her tightly, and rubbed her with my [protection] just to make sure she got the idea.
She sighed and relaxed a little "That's good, I- I see you as a daughter, even if you kind of remember my prom, and maybe have some of my memories about-" she blinked "Pendra... do you have any memories of me and Brandy that are... not appropriate?"
I stared at her, and she looked back at me, her face in a motherly glare. "...Pendra, I need you to forget that, ok?" she said firmly "Those memories are not for you, that's private."
I blushed and shook my head. It's not like I wanted to remember that, I felt guilty every time it came up, she couldn't lay that on me...
"Heyy, here's your... uh, treat?" Brandy said, setting a cup with a straw in it down in front of me. He looked at me and at [progenitor] and stepped back "Is everything ok? You two look like your cat just died..."
"It's all ok." [progenitor] said "I just found out that the process to give Pendra my neural pathways copied a lot more than it was supposed to. She's been living with half formed memories and partial recollections of my life since we did the procedure."
"Oh, wait, what?" Brandy asked, sitting down "What does that mean?"
"It means she's a lot more 'me' than I thought." [progenitor] sighed "And it explains a lot, to be honest. But it doesn't change anything, I just wish I'd known is all."
"Is... she in trouble?" Brandy asked "For not telling you she remembered stuff that happened to you?"
"No, no..."[progenitor] said" I think she tried to tell me a few times, actually. She's not in trouble, I just- It's weird knowing someone else has part of you in them."
"Well, I mean, I'm pretty used to-" Brandy said, grinning. She slapped his arm
"She's still a baby, even with my memories. Don't talk like that around her."
Was I a baby? I didn't think so. I couldn't talk, but that was a brain condition. I was young, but that wasn't me, it was my body. I had experience and knowledge, so... I was still an adult, I just was in a smaller body. That was a discussion for a different time, though.
"Here, let's forget about all this, eat your treat, ok?" [progenitor] offered, pushing the cup forward "It's your favorite stuff, all in one!"
I looked in the cup, it smelled... amazing, whatever it was. I sipped with the straw, my mouth barely fitting over it, and my mind exploded into flavor, it was [food], but it was... not food? It was drinkable [food], but it was so sweet and cold, and it had a flavor I didn't know, something spicy, and the [food] was mixed with the sweet, and it was creamy, and... I hummed, and sucked the straw so hard my cheeks hurt and danced my legs across the table in joy. I heard [progenitor] sigh, sounding like she was letting out a breath after holding it for a while.
"It's still Pendra..." she said, more to herself than to Brandy "Still cute, silly little Pendra, I don't know why I was so bothered, I know her, I love her, and if those memories are part of her, that's just another part of her to love..."
"Yeah, I'm sure it's fine." Brandy said "She seems ok with it, it's whatever, right?"
I was ok with it, actually. I wasn't quite [progenitor] but I was one hundred percent Pendra. I knew I wasn't ever going to get my life back, I'd figured that out a while ago, but I didn't need it now, I had my family, I had my [food], I was safe, I was looking forward to ruling the world someday, and I was learning my letters so I could be registered and get treats on the surface, I had my whole life set up, and it was looking pretty good to me.
"That thing you're drinking is a smoothie, by the way." Brandy said "Chrissie made up the recipe, it's got mangos, tajin, ice, raw bacon, a splash of milk, and blood. I wouldn't drink it, but it looks like you're loving it, huh?"
I didn't catch all that, but I was enjoying it. I gave him a thumbs up as I kept drinking.
"Pendra, I know we just got done with a... tricky situation, but..." [progenitor] said, trying to sound sweet "We'd like you to help us with something this week..."
I glanced up, still sucking on my straw. Something to help? I'd love to help, whatever it was. I couldn't do much, but I'd do what I could, it was [progenitor] after all. I glanced at the drink. Was that a ploy to get me in a good mood to say yes? Or was it really a reward for me learning my letters? Either way, I was in. I nodded to her as I sipped.
"Well, wait until you hear what it is, first." she said "I don't know if you... remember, I guess, but I'm in the Society for Non-Chosen Liberation at school?"
I remembered it, I remembered it being boring. I wiggled my hand a bit to show that, yeah, I knew about it.
"Ok, well... I'm trying to hold a protest on Tuesday, in city square? " she said "I'm protesting for the rights of abominations and inhumans, and I have a few dozen people signed up already. I know it's a big ask, but... would you mind coming with me? You'd be like our mascot, and we'd use you and our story of being thrown out of the diner as part of a speech."
A mascot? Well, I was very pretty, I absolutely could be a mascot, yeah! I grinned and waved my hand, finally taking the straw out of my mouth to strut and move into different poses. This stuff needed to be said, I still felt like I'd done something wrong when I'd been asked to leave, and I I knew I hadn't... I remembered I'd been pretty into anti-chosen movements and was very pro-super science before due to dad, but this felt more personal now. It wasn't just 'someone I knew was hurt', it's 'I'm actively being hurt', and somehow that made it much more real to me. I was usually pretty empathetic, but it still just felt... different now that it was 'me'.
"That's great!" [progenitor] said "It's going to be great, I just know it'll go well. Do you mind if I get a picture of you for the posters? I'll be putting them up tonight around the city."
"I'm helping, of course." Brandy said "We're gonna get like, a hundred."
I saluted and pointed to the sweater mom had made me, shrugging.
"Oh, for sure! I think you'll look super cute in it, finish your treat so you can put it on, and I'll get a nice picture!"
I finished my drink and put on the sweater while [progenitor] covered Brandy's eyes, and felt the soft material. Not only was it warm and snuggly, it had four arms! I could finally be cozy all over and not have to constantly rub at my lower set of arms. The upper armpit fabric was a little bunched, but it wasn't too bad. It was too big for me by a little bit, not really my size, but that just made it even more cozy for me. I could even see sleeping in this, and not having to use my [leaves]. ...Not that I would, of course, I needed my [leaves], they made me feel safe.
[progenitor] took the picture and smiled at me as I strained to see her phone. "Ok, now... I'm soooo sorry to leave early, but we gotta get this to the print shop so they can add it to the posters! I'll see you early Tuesday morning though, and after the protest, you're coming over for another sleepover!"
Tuesday was aaaages away, and I moaned my displeasure at that, flopping my arms and pulling on her sleeve to stay. She gave me a kiss and picked me up for a hug, squeezing me tight.
"Pendra, babygirl, I want you to know I miss you every second I'm away, ok?" she said "I love you so so much, and I'm sorry it took us so long to figure out your memories were all mixed up, but I have to go do this. If we get our voice out there, we can make changes that will help fix your life forever!"
I sighed and went limp on her. I knew it was important, if we didn't have the crowds, we'd be ignored, so yeah, I guess she was helping me by going away, but it didn't mean I had to like it.
"Hey, I'll see you Tuesday, short stuff, k?" Brandy said, packing stuff up into his bags
"I love you, Pendra!" [progenitor] said, untangling me from her arms and setting me on the table. "Keep learning your letters, and you can show me what you learned Tuesday morning, ok?"
"We'll see you later, Mr Halfroot!" Brandy called out, and with one final pet, the two of them were gone.
[custodian] came around to the side of the room I was on and sighed.
"I'm not sure about them using you like that..." he said sadly "It'll just put a target on your back. Blatantly showing off an unregistered abomination is... Well, I'm not sure it's protected by the right to protest."
He pet my back and sat down next to me "If they're not careful, they could ruin my whole operation here, and put you in serious danger."
I leaned into his hand, they wouldn't do that, right? [progenitor] was smart, I knew because I was smart, and I was... well, a lot of her, at least. She'd never put me in any kind of danger, I just knew it.