I leaned against the bus wall and scrolled through my phone, looking at the latest chosen news while I waited for my stop. I wasn't too interested in hero crap, but I wanted to know who was who, just in case I ended up running into them at my 'part time job' with my uncle. My uncle was always going on and on about his 'work' and how he was going to 'return the world to a primal state, without gods or their chosen slaves' but as far as my family could tell, he was just another crazy super scientist who'd never get anywhere past simple experiments and maybe getting on the news once for attacking one of the chosen or something. He wasn't even my real uncle anymore, my aunt had divorced him years ago, but for some reason my family still treated him like one of us, most likely since he didn't have anyone else.
Still, I didn't mind that much; yeah he was old and weird, and he lived in a hole in the ground- a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, not a nice one like most halflings had- but he paid me well enough. He took swabs from my mouth now and then, took blood once or twice, and I'd help him when he needed an extra hand in the lab. I didn't really understand what he was doing- I was a research major, not a theoretical entomologist- but I didn't need all my blood, and even if I had to work in a stinky hole, he kept his centipede monsters locked up while I was down there. Today, he was paying me extra, I was getting 250 blessings just to 'sit in a chair' for a while and let him do... something. He said it wouldn't effect me though, so I could care less what it was.
The bus slowed to a stop, and I stepped off, ducking into an alley to change into my 'costume'; a basic green domino mask and a headband with some matching antenna on it. It wasn't much, but it was enough that anyone I knew who saw me could be sued for 'identity exposure' if they tried to confront me. I walked to the big empty building, climbed up the fire escape to the second floor, and headed in through the window to the elevator on the far wall. It wasn't a very good base as far as super villains went, one of the rent-a-base kind of things, as far as I could tell, but my uncle wasn't really much of a super villain.
The elevator slid open and I stepped out, wrinkling my nose at the smell of rotten leaves. I'd tried to bring candles here before, but he'd been very upset with me, said the smells 'blocked his pheromone control methods' and that I was going to 'get us both killed' so I'd learned to live with the smells.
The room was mostly dirt, poorly lit, and over half of it was full of science junk like tubes and computers and stuff, the other half was the worst bachelor pad I'd ever seen; a dirty bed, a table, a sink, a fridge, and a sofa with a tiny tv in front of it. I put my pineapple flavored lip balm on to block out the icky dirt smell, and walked over to the bed, using my foot to kick my uncle awake.
"Uncle, I'm here for work, get out of bed." I said, trying not to sound annoyed at him for sleeping in. He was paying me after all.
He sat up, his beard and hair a mess, and smiled at me blearily
"Ahh, my darling niece!" he said, clapping "Are you ready to engage in the mental seeding event?"
"...Yes, I am." I said. I had no idea what that was, but asking would lead to an hour long discussion...
"Wonderful, wonderful..." he said, swinging out of bed "Do you have the papers from your school?"
"I do, but the office is giving me a hard time, they said the company you wrote down doesn't have an internship program." I handed him the paperwork from my bag. I wanted class credits for this if possible, but it wasn't looking like that'd be an option...
"Hm... I'll have to talk to the people who set it up, I'm sure we can get it worked out..." he muttered, setting the papers on the table and heading over to the sink to brush his teeth.
I looked at the chair we'd set up last time I'd been in, it was a large wooden seat with a metal crown on the top, and wires going off of it at every angle. It looked a lot like the electric chairs they used to use to kill fallen chosen before the gods agreed to just strip them of their powers instead. It made me nervous, but... 250 blessings was halfway to a new phone, and my old one was not doing well, it was a compact model, one of the ones that opened up like a mirror, and you spun the dial on the lower half to change the bubbles on the top part. I wanted one that was just the one screen with touch controls, and I was so, so close to getting enough money to afford it.
"So, let me go over this one more time, ok?" my uncle said, spitting his toothpaste and wiping his mouth "I have been using your biological components to craft a vessel, right?"
I nodded, not really listening
"And that vessel has components of Scolopendra, Geophilomorpha, and Lithobiomorpha, painstakingly spliced and mixed with your samples to create a stable host for the pheromone control relay system, with a level of semi controllable intellect, correct?"
"That's... yup, we've been doing that." I said, not following
"So, the inferior brain, the one at the biological conjunction point between the anterior mammalia component and the posterior chilopoda, is working as it should, full brain function at maximum instinct and execution."
"Well that's good!" I said
"Yes, it is!" my uncle beamed at me "Unfortunately, the superior brain in the mammalia component is... not working as it should. By my estimate, it's currently got the brain structure of a 20 year old, and the synaptic connections and neural pathways of a 2 month old..."
"So... it's a baby?" I asked, almost following along
"That's just it, it shouldn't be a baby, it should be a queen." he said, shaking his head "That's where you come in, I'll use my mental seeding device to copy your synaptic connections and neural pathways and apply them to the queen's brain so she can 'grow up' faster. That should allow her to learn and act with... semi-humanoid intelligence, as opposed to how she is now, which is just a glorified centipede brain controlling a body it wasn't built for. Right now she can't even learn motor control, the superior brain doesn't have the connections needed, but if we apply your connections, since she's a half- clone of you..."
"Ah, so... I'm teaching it how to walk and think and stuff?" I asked
"Exactly!" my uncle said. I was pretty sure he'd explained most of this to me before, but... he really liked explaining things to me, so even if I did remember him telling me something, it was better to just let him talk.
"And... I just sit there?" I asked
"Well, I need you to sleep, really, that should let me do a better scan."
I frowned. I'd have stayed up if I'd have known... Still, I was always tired, college did that to you. "Ok, yeah, that sounds good. Hey, I have dinner with my boyfriend tonight, and I was going to watch a movie with my brother after, will this take long?"
"Oh, no no no, just a few hours!" he assured me "You'll be home early, even!"
"Alright... Why are you paying me so much, then?" I asked
"Well, it's a form of fragmentation reproduction, so I'm paying you for your time, and to the rights to the resulting progeny!"
I nodded like I understood, vaguely remembering signing something that said that, and got into the chair "Whatever, Unc, I'm just happy to help, really."
"That's why I appreciate you!" he said, turning on his computers and dragging a box out from under the desk. He slid it behind me, and opened it up, and I heard hissing and tapping.
"Is that- uh, the progeny?" I asked
"It will be!" he called out "It's the queen! I'm just hooking up her end of the chair to the inferior brain so I can send the signals though it, I have to keep her boxed up, she's too dumb to understand it's for her own good, ha!"
I sat back and waited, fiddling with my phone, looking at local events to kill time while my uncle set things up. There was some opening of a magical girl cafe down the road, I might check it out after this, try and start an argument with the new heroes on camera, call out their beliefs for what they were, but... I had mostly grown out of magical girls years and years ago when I was a teenager, so I'd most likely head straight home to get ready for my date. We were going to a nice place down the street, one with villain ties at that, so I knew it'd be safe. I pulled off my headband and mask and put them in my lap as my uncle fitted the crown on my head. I wondered if it'd hurt, I wasn't a little bitch or anything, but I didn't want to get electrocuted.
"I'll just try to fall asleep then?" I asked
"Yes! Exactly!" he said "I'll finish getting ready for the day, but I'll be quiet, you just sit there and relax."
I should have brought a cushion for my butt, my legs were already getting stiff. I snapped my phone closed and tucked it away, laying back against the wooden back. The chair switched on, and I listened to the hum and the skittering of the 'queen' in the box behind me. Hopefully this worked, he'd been working on this for over a year at this point, so if it didn't work... He'd be back to drinking and crying like when my aunt left him, and I'd be out of a job. I kicked my feet and closed my eyes. I'd heard that if you just closed your eyes and didn't do anything, you'd fall asleep in like five minutes, but that never worked for me. I might as well try again though.
I breathed in and out deeply, tuning out the sounds of my uncle's shower in the background, thinking about my schoolwork, the final exam I was supposed to be studying for Bio 203. I went over the cell functions in my head, division, signaling, um... I tried to think of the other one, but it was beyond me. Bio was boring anyway, I was only taking it so I could do the labs later, and I was only passing because I could cram well and my uncle's science stuff rubbed off on me a little, but still.
I thought about my boyfriend, and his recommendations that I change majors. His classes were all going great, but he was in engineering, not a research major, so it wasn't as difficult, based on what I'd seen of his work. I wanted to do something useful with myself through, to find new science stuff and change the world. Even if I didn't have the spark for super science, I could help those who did, like my uncle. I felt myself getting wobbly and sleepy inside, and I let my body go limp so I'd fall asleep faster. Don't think about sleeping, if you do, it won't happen, don't think about it, don't think about it, don't.....
~~~
I woke up, groggy and more tired than I was when I'd went to sleep and yawned. My legs were super numb, I absolutely should have had a pillow to sit on. I reached up, not feeling the crown, but instead feeling... horns? My headband? My uncle must have put it back onto me once he took the crown off, to protect my identity. Weird that he didn't put my domino mask back on too, then. I looked around and tried to stand up, it was dark, so the automatic lights must have gone off again, I'd have to move enough to turn them on again, and- damnit, why couldn't I stand up?
I felt for the legs of the chair and my hands bumped into something else, something slick and smooth and segmented right below me and I screamed.
Something was in here with us, one of the centipedes that usually lived under the floor must have come up and was resting right against my legs. I'd seen them tear apart the chunks of meat my uncle had thrown at them, I couldn't let that happen to me, I tried to pull my legs up off the floor, and I felt my whole body arch, something was wrong.
I called out for my uncle, yelling his name "Hhh-k-k-rh-k-k-hh!"
I grabbed my throat, that was... something was absolutely wrong. I swung my arms, looking for something, anything, and I felt another pair of arms, grabbing around me as well. Was my uncle hurt too? Was he trying to get to me? I still couldn't see, so I tried to grasp one of the hands, pulling it in to my body to guide it, and spasmed as I made contact with it. I was feeling- no I was both hands. Four hands? There... must have been a chemical leak and his stupid centipede genetic stuff got on me and now I had an extra set of limbs or something. How was I going to explain that to my boyfriend? I'd have register as an abomination now, and get a special bus pass, and send pictures to the hero database, and I'd have a bitch of a time getting a job outside of a fast food joint, and- wait, was I naked? I felt my chest and shrieked again, my clothes were gone, down to the skin.
I patted down to my lower half, feeling something around my waist at least, some kind of armor. It felt firm, but flexible, like the stuff most of the Downtown Queens wore. Did that mean the heroes were here to arrest my uncle? Was I wearing one of the Queen's costume pieces on my waist? Why hadn't they covered my top, too? I wouldn't throw my uncle under the bus, but if anyone asked, I'd say I thought he was a hero super scientist and hope no one asked my family any questions... I wished I could see... I waved my hands in front of my face- all four of them- and groaned. I'd better not be blind... Trying to find a healer for that would be close to impossible in this economy, I might have to suck it up and join one of the churches with a chosen with a healing power...
I heard voices, one soft and light, the other unmistakably my uncle. I used one of my extra hands to cover my chest and called out again to him, hoping he'd be able to hear me, as loud as I could.
"K-k-k-k-hhh-k-k-k-k!!!" Still no words... I tried to stomp my feet in frustration, but I still couldn't feel them. I heard a thumping from above me, and my uncle's voice getting closer.
"....hink it was a success! Let's check, come come!"
I whipped my head up as the ceiling split open, light pouring in, and I winced, blocking the light with a hand. How was the ceiling even opening? I thought my uncle had disabled that feature when he got this pla-
My heart stopped. I felt faint.
Looming over me, towering up in the sky, was my uncle, grinning down at me, easily five or six times my size. I worked my mouth, trying to say something, but I couldn't get the words to come out. I flapped my hands, what was this?
"She's much more focused and aware! And she's using her upper body too!" he said
Another figure leaned into the light, staring down on me. She was dirty blonde, with limp hair and green eyes. She looked bored and slightly groggy, her eyes taking a moment to focus on me. She winced in disgust as she looked at me and I started to panic when I realized she was me. The face sneering down at me, the face that looked at me like I was the worst thing she'd seen today, was my own. It was like looking in a mirror, a giant, horrible mirror. I looked between her/myself and my uncle. Was this- had I been shrunk? Sent to another world? I was just in the chair, I couldn't- was it because of the chair? It wasn't supposed to effect me, he'd promised...
"So... that's the queen?" I/she asked "The 'progeny' or whatever?"
"Yes! And not just any progeny, your progeny!" my uncle said, looking up from me to smile at her
I looked around to see the progeny for myself and gasped, my hands- my skin was impossibly pale, my fingers ended in claws, I had red blotches all over my tummy, my legs-
My legs?...
I looked down, and saw the centipede I'd felt earlier had bitten me around the waist, all black and red with slightly clear yellowish legs, a horrifying thing, and it was eating me, my legs were inside it, it was-
One of the legs twitched, and I felt a chill. The 'centipede' was my legs. I turned and looked over my shoulder, rows and rows of plates and legs and segments going back across the box I was in, and suddenly I could feel every one. I was the progeny, the queen, how? Had something gone wrong in the chair? I couldn't hold back the feeling of wrongness anymore, I screamed, I thrashed, I flopped all over, feeling my new body parts rub against the box with a clarity that I hated. I could feel every inch of my body, I needed to get out, I needed to get better, to get fixed I needed-
My uncle's hand pinned me down and I froze. It was strong and firm, but it didn't hurt. He reached behind me and pulled a white wire off my back, right at the base, and I felt a weird wave wash through me, like a dive into a cold pool, disconnecting me from my legs. I felt my mind wobble, then my lower half reconnected, stronger than before, the sensation feeling like I was rubbing myself against a giant insect all over, all at once. I started to cry, and begged him to help me, to fix this, to put me back to normal.
"Kk-i-i-i-hh-hk-kk-h-ki...." I moaned, the words not forming in my weird new throat. There were... things, hard, sharp things slid down my neck, and I couldn't talk around them.
"Oh, hush, it's ok, shhh..." my uncle said gently, petting me.
"It's crying?" I/the girl said as I was lifted out of the box
"She's overwhelmed, she's never had emotions before, or even control of her body, she's scared, that's all." my uncle said quietly
That wasn't it at all. Did they not know it was me? Could they not tell who I was? I waved my hands and pointed to myself, then to... my other self, trying to get them to see the connection.
"Is she trying to say something?" I/she asked
"She recognizes you!" my uncle said, patting me between the horn-antennas "She's able to tell that you're her mother! I'd bet it's your scent."
"Wait, what the fuck? Mother?" I/she said, echoing my own thoughts "How am I her mother?"
"All the humanoid genetic materials and all the mental imprinting came from you, so... she's half you!"
"...I guess that's why she kinda has my face..." I/she said, frowning at me.
Mother? That wasn't my 'mother', that was me, I needed them to fix me, I couldn't be my own kid, I looked around for something to write with, if I couldn't say anything, I could at least write something. I saw a pen and notepad on the table, the one uncle used, and I pointed at it, waving my hands to tell him to carry me over.
"Oh! Communication!" he crowed "It's working so well! I think she wants to color, this is amazing! Even non-instinctual brain patterns carried over, I bet she can even recognize faces!"
He brought me over to the pen and paper and I/the girl followed, looking mildly curious. He tore off to a fresh page, and set me down, handing me the pen. I focused hard, and wrote slowly, using all four arms to control the pen. 'Please... help... I'm... not... a... bug...' I put the pen down and looked at the page.
It wasn't- I hadn't- I blinked, and gasped. The page was full of wide, disconnected squiggles and circles, no words, no letters at all. I was sure I was writing real words... I looked at the torn off page and only saw squiggles on that too, and I shook my head hard. I couldn't even read anymore? What happened to me? I flapped my hands and looked back up at the other two.
"It looks like... eggs? Or maybe a plate of meatballs?" I/she said, tilting her head
"Hmm..." my uncle said "I'm sure she'll get better at art as she practices, but unfortunately for her, if that is a nest of eggs she drew, she'll be disappointed. She can't lay any herself."
"So... I won't be a grandmother at 25, that's good to know." I/she joked
"No, because she's the queen, I needed her to be focused on ruling, so she's unable to reproduce. Any urges she has to do so are likely residual from you, and will fade."
"Wh- no!" I/she said "I don't have any 'urges for kids', don't be gross..."
"Well, she did draw eggs..." my uncle said teasingly
"Or meatballs..." I/she muttered "Look, I gotta go..."
I sat upright, leave? No, I needed her here, to... get back into that body or something, she needed to be here! I needed to be fixed, if she left- I reached out for her and waved my hands, flapping them and vocalizing for her to stay to notice something was wrong, to see that we were the same person, for her to fix me...
"I... think she wants you to hold her before you go." my uncle said, scooping me up under my thorax and handing me over to my other self
"Oh, oh, ah, ff- uhh, oohh ok, suuure... I'll hold my... child, I guess." I/she said, locking up and shakily taking me from him.
I didn't blame her/me, I hated touching bugs, I was only here because uncle was family, or... used to be, but she was >me, she needed to understand that. I tried to say some words to her, to explain that I was her, but only gibberish came out again, and I flopped forward, dejected.
"So... you're my kid, huh?" I/she said, carefully petting me, avoiding my legs. "I gotta say, you're kinda cute from the waist up. But... that might just be my vanity speaking. The white hair looks good, I might need to bleach mine to match."
I pointed at my head, then at my/her head and moved my hand back and forth, she had to understand, she had to I couldn't live like this, please, I had plans, a boyfriend, a life, I needed her to understand...
She smiled and rubbed my tummy with the back of her finger "You think so too, huh? Yeah, we're both a couple of good looking gals. I'll be back to see you another day, ok?"
She handed me back to my uncle and I realized with shock and horror that there was no way to tell them, no way to let them know I was me. I might actually be stuck like this. I looked around the room and saw the walls close in, and I started to breathe in short breaths, and I could feel the air being sucked into my lungs through my mouth and into my thorax through tiny holes. I felt dizzy, and I started to cry, I put my head in my hands and shook. My uncle pet me and cooed as my life crumbled in front of me.
"Shh, shh... It's ok, momma will be back soon, she works here all the time, it's ok..." I felt him shoo her off to leave, and the elevator dinged a second later.
I wish I was a little more observant, if I'd just paid a little bit more attention, if I'd cared a little more, I might have noticed what had happened. My uncle wasn't amazing at science, but we could have gone to someone who was, someone who could fix this... I let myself go limp, and my uncle carried me into his living quarters.
"Now, I know you're sad to see her go..." He said "But I have a gift to cheer you up! I knew once you got some human instincts in you you'd stop trying to bite everything, so you can stay out of your box now, unless you're bad. That said, I can't have the queen of all centipedes sleeping in the dirt with the rest, so..."
He reached under the couch and pulled out a dog bed, still new in the wrapping "Tah dah! A nice cozy bed, just for you! I bought you a blanket for it too!"
He put me around his neck like a necklace, and tore off the plastic on the bed, putting it under the coffee table, stuffing a rainbow covered blanket on top of it.
"Here, why don't you try it out?" he said, putting me on top of it "Get some rest, it's hard work having an entire species' instincts put into your head at once!"
I lay on top of the blanket for a moment, still in shock, then I let my body take over, and I burrowed into it, curling up, and starting to cry again.
~~~
A while later, I woke up, and poked my head out of the blanket. It was impossible to tell what time it was, but it couldn't be too late, my uncle was still in the lab, working on those big tubes he had. I closed my eyes and focused on moving out of the blanket, letting my body tell me what muscles to move, what legs to move when. I opened my eyes and glanced at my legs as I walked, and almost instantly fell face first on the floor. Ok, so... don't pay attention to the legs, let the new body do what it does by itself.
I made it to the kitchenette and pushed myself up, I felt tiny hooks or claws in my new legs digging into the cheap pressed wood of the cabinets, and I let them pull me up to the sink. I reached over with my human hands, and pulled the tap, cold water rushing out of the faucet into the drain. Finally... I leaned forward and turned my head, sucking up the moisture. [life blood] my brain filled in for me, and I yanked my head back. It wasn't... words that jumped into my brain just then, but it meant something, and it was important. It was like a sensation, like, letting me know how my instincts saw the... the liquid, the stuff I was drinking, what was it called? [life blood], right? That had to be it. What was I thinking about again? I looked around, and saw my uncle standing behind me, smiling at me.
"Ahh, so clever!" he said "You're learning so much! You've got so much instinct in your little head, you'll do so well!"
He reached down and pet me again, and I twitched, my brain now labeling him as [custodian]. I knew better than that though, he was my aunt's ex husband, which made him my [custodian], not my [custodian].
I frowned. An aunt's husband was an uncle, so this man wasmy [custodian]. I growled in frustration, I knew the word, I just couldn't... apply it to... to my [custodian]. Godsdamnit...
"You're growling, are you hungry?" [custodian] asked "I can get you some meat, here, let's sit at the table."
He moved me over to the table and set me down. I was still confused about the words leaving my brain, but I still knew what I meant at least. [custodian] went to the refrigerator and pulled out a place with small cut up chunks of meat on it, all raw. I crumpled my face up at that, I wasn't against sushi now and then, but just raw meat? I gagged, and turned away.
"Oh, no no no, look, you just ate this a couple days ago! You loved it!" [custodian] said "Would you prefer crickets next time? I thought plain meat would be better since your toxicognaths are in your buccal cavity and throat, which would make hunting harder..."
I looked at him, then back down at the chunks of raw meat. I hadn't eaten it a few days ago, a few days ago I'd made mac and cheese for my little brother. Still, if it was this or crickets... I could try at least. I picked up the closest bit of raw meat and sniffed it. It was... tangy, slightly stale, and it had a smell like something too clean, it was missing something... I took a small bite, and gagged again as my brain gave it a new name, simply [food]. The texture was slimy and chewy, almost too tough to tear, and it tasted like the life was gone from it, and that made me sad, somehow. I realized that the thing missing was [struggle]. [food] was supposed to [struggle], the fact that this [food] didn't was disappointing and made it taste worse. Still, it was [food], so I kept eating. [food] was meant to be eaten, after all.
I still needed to let [custodian] know who I was, but after eating several bits of [food], I was sleepy enough to be out of ideas. I had tried writing, I couldn't talk, I wanted to draw, but I couldn't imagine it going better than my writing. I looked at the clock, but it was... not working right, I couldn't tell the time for some reason. I was most likely missing my date though, I/she was staring into my boyfriend's eyes, sharing a plate of [food] as they talked about the future, my future without me. I rubbed my head, if I could just... communicate. I knew there were super scientists who could help, I was sure of it, there were even ones who could talk to animals-
Oh, oh no. I'm not going there.
I was not an animal. I was still human, I needed to remember that. Lack of communications aside, I was still very much a person, I had a person's mind and a person's face, and a person's memories. I was a person. I yawned and looked around for more [life blood] but the place it came from was so, so far away. I looked at my [custodian] and thought. Maybe I could use him... I reached for the sink and vocalized, making noises to let him know I wanted more [life blood]. His smile grew, and he stood, walking over and filling a cup for me. He set it down and I greedily drank from it, not caring that I was getting wet. That [food] had been good, but it was dry, with no blood in it, which was wrong, somehow. I leaned back from the cup as I felt full, and rubbed the water on my face and chest. It felt good to be damp... I yawned again, and shook my head. I needed a nap, then I could figure out how to tell [custodian] who I was really.
"Here, let's get you to bed..." [custodian] said, bringing me over to my blankets and my bed.
He set me in front of it, and I reached out my hand, and got the term [nest] in return. It was a good [nest], but it could be warmer, even with the blankets, I'd been a little cold earlier. I turned to look up at [custodian] and pretended to shiver, pulling at [nest], hoping he'd understand.
"Oh? Oh! I can get you a heat lamp for that!" he said, standing up and walking over to his science area. He dug through a box, pulling out a lamp that I recognized from when we were hatching the giant [siblings] eggs a while ago. [siblings]? The big ones that slept under the ground most days, the other ones like me- no, NOT like me, like... the bottom of me. [siblings].
I gave up trying to remember what they were called, and watched [custodian] put the lamp above my [nest], clipping it to the table [nest] was under.
"Try it now, see if that helps!" [custodian] said proudly.
I crawled forward, ready to go to sleep, when the light from the lamp hit me, and I flinched. This was... this wasn't light like the rest of the light, this was [sun], and [sun] dried me out. I needed [life blood] if I was going to be in [sun] . I once again turned to [custodian] and pointed at [sun], sticking my tongue out like I'd died, and closing my eyes. Then I pretended to drink [life blood] and pointed to my [nest].
"I... well, I just can't believe this..." [custodian] whispered "You kept enough of the source imprinting to replicate things like pantomime! I must be better with brains than I thought!"
He had no idea...
"It's so useful to be able to communicate with you now!" he said, getting up and going to the sink, digging in a a cabinet and pulling out a spray bottle full of [life blood].
He used it to make my [nest] damp and cozy, getting [life blood] inside and on top of it. I looked at it and pushed and pulled the [nest] until I was happy, and I crawled into the warm, soggy home. I curled up and tucked my head under my legs. They weren't bothering me as much, they felt a lot more like a part of me than a strange [sibling] wrapped around me or eating me now. I closed my eyes, I'd digest the [food], then I'd be able to pantomime my way out of this mess, I was sure of it
~~~
I groaned and ran my fingers through my hair, thumping my head against the table, frustrated at everything. I'd been trying for two days to act out and mime out what had happened, but every time I got the chance, [custodian] either misunderstood, thought I was just playing, or took notes on that dumb notepad of his. I'd even tried drawing, trying to draw myself in the chair and then me in the box, showing the transfer, but [custodian] had just hung it up on his fridge as a 'family portrait'. I'd been losing words, too, which terrified me. The soft rainbow thing on [nest] was now called [leaves] and I knew that wasn't right, but I couldn't figure out how to get my brain to stop auto-correcting my words. A few other things had changed as well, the area where [custodian] bathed was called the [rain box], the chemicals under the sink were all labeled [poison], the tools [custodian] used to eat and cut up [food] were called [fangs]... If this kept up, I'd have more fake words than real ones.
Right now though, I was frustrated at the game I was playing. "Game" was a very loose term, it was some kind of IQ test, something to gauge how smart I was. I'd done the matching ones perfectly, and the memory games were easy as well, but this one... It was some kind of test to see if I could understand what symbols matched what item, and I was doing very, very bad. I think the symbols I was supposed to be matching were words, or letters of some kind, but every time I looked at them I just saw squiggles. The problem was, they were so complicated, I was having to memorize the turns and angles of the squiggles for each card [custodian] showed me, and so many squiggles used the same lines and angles, I was only getting about every other card right, which was more of a fluke than anything.
I needed to get this down though, the other tests had [custodian] talking about how I was 'almost as smart as a person!' and how I was 'easily at a toddler level in terms of critical thinking!', if I could keep passing tests, he'd realize that I was adult intelligence and connect the dots. This one was... unfair though, my brain just couldn't process the stupid squiggles, it was maddening. I rubbed my eyes and shook my head, looking up at [custodian] with pleading eyes, begging him to let me do a different test. He sighed, and put the cards down.
"I just don't understand..." he said "You can obviously understand speech, you answer yes or no questions, but you seem entirely incapable of even comprehending the idea of a written language..."
I pointed at the cards
"Hhh-k-k-k-gg-h-h-k-k-k!!" I yelled
[Those stupid cards don't even have real words on them!]
[custodian] laughed and petted my back "It's ok, calm down, calm down. If I had to guess, your language center isn't working correctly, which is why you have such a hard time talking. We can work on that, it's ok!"
I flinched back and covered my head, alarmed. What did he mean by 'work on it'?
He chuckled "You're such a smart thing... No, no brain surgery, I can't tamper with your brain anymore without risking your inferior and superior brains getting separated. I just meant we can practice."
Well, that wasn't so bad. It was so annoying to not be able to communicate at all and these tests were driving me up the wall, but I'd do just about anything to be able to talk or read again.
The elevator dinged, and I turned to look, were we expecting someone?
"Ah, this is your mother's day to work!" [custodian] said "We can show her how much you've learned!"
Mother? That was me then, if anyone would recognize me, it'd be me. I scurried over to the elevator and waited for it to open. As it did, I held up my hands and vocalized to get her/my attention. I/she looked down and jumped back a bit, eyes wide.
Right, yeah, still a bug person.
She/I took a breath and stepped out of the elevator, bending down to put her/my finger under my chin, her hand shaking. As she/I did, a new word overwrote her name and identity in my mind; [progenitor]. I gasped and backed up, no, she was ME, not [progenitor], she was- I mean she/I was- no... I drooped as I looked at her, was I that separated from my original self? That I couldn't even see her as me, but just as [progenitor]? She pursed her lips, and winced as she picked me up.
"Hey, no, it's ok baby, I'm not really scared of you..." she said, rubbing my stomach "I was just surprised, I'm still not used to being a mom to such a... unique baby."
"She's been very excited to see you again!" [custodian] said "She even drew a picture of the two of you!"
[progenitor] walked over to the picture and looked at it, and glanced at me, a concerned look on her face.
"Oh, wow, there's... uhh, the chair? I think? And your box..." she frowned "You draw about as well as I do, sorry I couldn't give you more artistic ability."
"She's got a nice bed now!" [custodian] pointed to [nest] "I got a heat lamp, and I keep it nice and damp for her!"
"That's... not a bed, but as long as she likes it, I guess." [progenitor] said, poking it with her toe.
It was a great [nest] thank you very much, damp and warm, easy to hide in, she'd know that if she was small enough to fit. Still, having her make fun of it stung for some reason. Was it because it reminded me I was a little bit less of myself than I was before? Maybe since she was my [progenitor] I was embarrassed at having her disappointed in my stuff...
"Hey, so... what did you want me to do today?" [progenitor] asked, holding me to her chest as she walked over to the lab area
"Hm? Oh! Well, I thought you could spend time with the queen!" [custodian] said "She'll be helping rule the world eventually, so I figure she needs to be around someone who isn't me all the time, to help her understand people."
Understand people? I was a people, this was stupid. If I could show her how smart I was, she'd understand, we needed to do the tests, like, not the one with the stupid squiggles, but the good ones, the ones I was good at, to show her my intellect. I pointed and vocalized, waving my hand at the stack of puzzles and flash cards on the table.
"What? You want to... Huh..." [progenitor] said, looking at the cards "Uhh, Unc, what are these?"
He looked up from his place at the lab "Hm? Oh, those are flash cards! She's very clever, she probably wants to show off how smart she is! Do a few games with her, but, ah, stay away from the ones with words. Those frustrate her."
"Flash cards?" she asked "I thought she was a baby?"
"Well, more like a toddler, from what I can tell, in terms of sentience!" he said, smiling "I think she's getting smarter every day!"
"Wow, so... when can we expect to hear her say her first word?" she asked, pushing most of the puzzles out of the way and getting a shape matching game out
"Ah, her language center is... She can understand us, but the part that outputs language, it's not working. I think she had a kind of aphasia."
"...huh..." she said, pulling me off her chest and setting me on the table "So she can understand me then?"
"Yup! Clear as day!"
[progenitor] stared at me, her lips pursed, thinking hard. I stared back, this could be it, if she asked the right questions, if I could give the right answers... She reached out her hand and pet me softly, still thinking.
"Do... you know who I am?" she asked
I nodded, and pointed to her head, then to mine, and to the chair behind her, still assembled.
She turned to look at it, and looked back at me, surprised "Yeah, that's- yeah, that's right, I made you with the chair, but also lots of blood and spit too." she frowned "I wonder if this counts as your version of the birds and the bees..."
I rolled my eyes and tugged her hand and pointed at myself, then at her, jabbing my finger, then back to the machine, then to the chair, and waved my hands to show frustration.
"Hey, Unc?" she called out "She just asked if we could try hooking us back up to the machine, is that...?"
I perked up, that wasn't what I'd asked, but I would be more than happy to try it if we could...
"Ah, sorry, no." he said, sheepishly "We almost lost connection between her two brains last time, she was nearly all superior brain for a while after the procedure, if we try again, it could destroy the link forever."
Was that bad? I was pretty sure the brain in my butt- or, where my butt used to be- was the thing replacing all my words and making want to hide from the light and stuff, if I could get rid of that, I'd be much closer to my old self.
"Oh, uh, ok then." [progenitor] said "Sorry, squirt, I guess we can't do that.."
Squirt... that's what I... we... she? called our little brother. I hadn't seen him in days now, and I missed him. If I was being honest though, I missed my boyfriend even more. Gods, even if I did learn to talk, he'd never want to be with me when he had [progenitor] right there... Actually, I didn't know if anyone would want to be with me, ever. I knew I couldn't have kids, that's fine, but I still wanted love. I huffed and crossed my arms, trying not to cry. It seemed like everything just reminded me of how trapped and helpless I was...
"Ah, sh- uh, dang..." [progenitor] muttered "Hey, want to play a game? Look, I picked this one out, you can match the shapes, see?"
She set the cards out and moved one shape to the big card, and flipped the next one. "There, now you try! Show, uh, momma how smart you are!"
'Momma', ugh, it felt weird to hear her say that, my brain scrambled it into static when she said it. Even if my mind refused to let me see her as myself anymore, she was still [progenitor], not 'momma'. I scuttled over to the cards, and quickly dealt the deck out, using all four hands to sort the cards into the 5 shape stacks in a matter of a few seconds. I finished, and looked up at [progenitor], waving a hand over the stacks to show her that I was not in fact, a toddler.
"Oh wow!" she said "Let's try..."
She shuffled the cards and flipped the big cards over to the color side "Here, now sort them by color, not shape, ok?"
I sighed, and quickly separated the cards out like I had before, shrugging at her as I finished.
"Dang, that's not much of a challenge either, I guess." she said "Well, if you know shapes and colors..."
She turned around and dug in the pile of games, pulling out a deck of cards me and [custodian] used to use for games back when my internship first started.
"...Let me show you 'solitaire'."
I pursed my lips and folded my arms as she explained the rules. I knew how to play it, I- we had learned it in science camp in 8th grade, the year where we didn't make any friends. I didn't remember why we were so sad and lonely that year, but I knew the feelings it had brought. I really wanted her to ask me more questions though, to give me a chance to explain stuff.
"Hh-hh-k-kk-k-kk-g-g-kk-k!" I said, pointing to my mouth and miming talking, then to her
[Ask me questions, stupid! Talk to me!]
She frowned, and looked at the half set up cards. "...Hm... I'll tell you what, I'll talk to you while we play, ok?"
I nod quickly, anything to get her asking questions and hopefully get me out of this body. I scooted back as she finished setting up and explaining, and played a few turns, explaining what she was doing. I nodded quickly, and made a motion for her to hurry up, I knew this already.
"Wow, eager to chat, huh?" she said, sitting back "Ok, play two cards, and then I'll ask a question, ok?"
This was child abuse, withholding parental care and connection behind homework and tests, I just knew it. Not that I was actually her kid, or- well, this body was, but I wasn't, not really. Still, it was some kind of abuse, I knew that much. I flipped the top card of the deck, counting the shapes in my head- the number symbols still didn't make sense- until I found an ace, and put it up top, and then moved the 2 of hearts on top of it from a row, freeing up a jack of clubs. Drat...
"Good!" [progenitor] said, giving me a small clap "Ok, hmm... let's see... Ok, here's a question, do you like your bed? Or would you like me to find you a real bed?"
I looked at her and tilted my head. Really? That's what she was going for? I rolled my eyes, and made sleeping motions with my hands, closing my eyes, then gave her a thumbs up. [nest] was perfectly fine, thank you very much.
"Ok, wait, so you do like your bed?" she asked
I nodded, frustrated
"Ok, and... if I brought you an actual bed, like a little doll bed or something with maybe a little mattress, or, fu- uh, heck, a gnome bed, you wouldn't want it?"
I shook my head, and pointed at [nest]>, giving another thumbs up.
"Oh, ok then." she said "Sorry, I just- it's a dog bed, and- well, you look really human... or at least like a person, kinda more like an infernal with the horns, if it weren't for the pale skin."
I perked up, and nodded quickly, pointing at my skin, teeth and ears, then back to her, and giving a thumbs up.
"Oh? Oh! Yeah, yeah, well, you're half human, sorry, yeah, of course." she said "I was just saying- I wasn't calling you inhuman. Although, I guess you'd be a second class citizen..."
She looked thoughtful, and turned to [custodian] "Hey, if we take her to get registered, would she be able to be registered as a full person? Or as a homunculus or something?"
"We're not getting her registered!" he called back from his lab "She's the new goddess of the world, she'll rule everything from the northern wastes to the southern pit, she's above classifications like that."
A moment later he continued his thought "...Although, if she were to be registered, after we train her more... Their tests would likely have her as a full person, an abomination, but still a legal person with a learning disability."
"Oh, ok, good to know!" [progenitor] called back
She looked at me and leaned in, speaking quietly "We'll get you registered eventually, his plans of world domination will fall through as soon as he tries to go public."
I pointed at her, and then to me "H-k-kh-h-h-k-kh-g-gk-gk?"
[And then you'll be the one to take care of me?]
She smiled "Well, I am your mother after all, of course I'd adopt you! Brandy might be upset at first, but he'll get over it."
Brandy... I thought about our boyfriend's smile, his blue eyes and sharp fangs, his big pointy ears... He was so, so cute. He'd make a wonderful father. Not- not that he'd be my father, he was my boyfriend, or- our boyfriend. The people at the registration place would know I was human. They had GGDS testing gear, it'd be a snap. I played another ace, and moved the three of hearts onto the two, and looked up at [progenitor] for the next question.
"Oh, next one? Ok, hmm..." she tapped her lip "Ok, ok, how about... Do you like the idea of ruling the world?"
I thought about it. If I ruled the world, however I had to, I could get the help I needed to get better, or at least to be understood. I gave her a thumbs up and nodded, yeah, I'd like to rule the world, I supposed.
"Oh, gosh, ok, wow." she said "I wonder if he programed you like that that, or if it's all you?..."
I pointed at myself. It wasn't him, it was my desire to get better. [custodian] had nothing to do with it.
[progenitor] giggled "I guess I raised a little overachiever, huh?"
I stuck out my tongue and kept playing. I was... kinda easy to hang out with, actually. I knew it was because I was treating myself like a child, making sure I wasn't upset, trying to teach me stuff, but... I liked her. Me. Whatever. I'd like to spend more time with her, even if she never figured out that I was her. I pulled her hand over my thorax with one hand as we kept playing. She flinched, but relaxed, and began petting my insect body, getting used to it. I liked my human body- upper body- whatever- being pet, but... it felt nice to have her touch my scary parts too, like she was accepting me, all of me.
As we played, she asked more questions, and while they weren't the ones I wanted, I was able to connect with her more and more.
"Are you comfortable down here?"
Mostly, yes
"Do you like [custodian]?"
Obviously, he gives me [food].
"Do you want me to bring you anything?"
Well, yeah, a phone, [food] that still has [struggle], a sweater in my size, lots of things, but she couldn't understand me.
"Do you miss me when I'm gone?"
...Yes, you're the human me, the more me, I need you. You make me more me, and you're what makes me, me... I couldn't say all that, I tried, but... I just had to tell her yes.
By the end of the game, it was time to go home. She'd figured out I needed a cup with [life blood] in it next to my nest, she was going to bring me a top of some kind, and she was going to try and find better [food], but I didn't know what that meant to her. It was a productive game, and I was sad when she had to go, but I knew she had to get home to my- her family, so I understood. She gave me an awkward kiss on the head, trying to avoid my horns, and stood up from the table.
"Ok, sorry I have to go, but I'll be back soon, ok?" she said, smiling at me sadly "I really liked getting to know you! It's so, so weird that you're my kid, but I'll try to be a good mom, ok?"
I nodded at her, and hugged myself as she gave me another smile and walked over to [custodian]. They talked quietly, with [progenitor] pointing at the roof a few times and looking upset. [custodian] looked sad, but shook his head, and waved his hands gently. [progenitor] was quiet, but pointed at me and whispered again, more firmly. [custodian] looked nervous, but sighed, and nodded, whispering back. [progenitor] smiled, and hugged him, and walked back over to me.
"Hey lil squirt! I gotta go, I'll be back in a couple days, ok?" she said, petting me again. "I told Unc about the water cup, he'll put it by your bed tonight."
I nodded, and patted her hand, letting her know it was ok for her to go. I'd be fine, I wanted her here, obviously, but... I'd be ok.
"Hey, little secret though..." she fake whispered "Be on your best behavior this week! I might be able to give you a surprise next week if you are!"
A surprise? Well, anything different was another chance of being understood. I nodded and smiled, giving four thumbs up, I could do that, no problem.
"Awww..." she cooed "You really are growing on me... You're cuter every time I look at you..."
Well, I did have a beautiful tail. It was red and had yellow legs, and it was much prettier than the [siblings] who only had boring earth tones. It made sense she'd think I was cute with parts like that. I smiled and fanned myself, wiggling my legs.
She snorted and stood up "Ok, I really do gotta go, but I'll see you soon, ok? I love you!"
I looked up, surprised. She loved me? It made sense, she thought she was my mom, but... it was weird to hear her said it. Still, I loved her too, in a 'love yourself' kind of way, so I made a heart with my hands and smiled. As she left, [custodian] came over and sat at the table, watching her leave.
"She's a really bright girl..." he said "She never applies herself, she only half asses everything she does, but today? She was fully devoted to you, she never checked her phone once."
I looked at him, and thought about it. Her phone had stayed in our pocket the entire time... I know she'd gotten texts, I'd heard the chime, but she never pulled it out. I hadn't realized I was so maternal... It made me wonder how I really felt about not being able to be a mom after all...
~~~
The next day, I was watching TV on the couch, trying to see if children's public programing could help me re-learn letters, when [custodian] came over with a small box. I recognized it as the control box for the [siblings], and I frowned. Was he trying to use it on me? He sat down and set it next to me, turning off the TV. I turned and faced him, nervous at what he was going to do next.
"This little box allows me to release pheromones into the air, and lets me control the other centipedes that are under the floor and in the tunnels..." he explained. I nodded, and he continued "When I made you, I made sure to give you the full range of pheromone production, in the hopes that you can replace this little box someday."
I looked at it, and back at him. I shrugged, I didn't know anything about making pheromones, I'd never tried.
He smiled, and pushed a button on the box, and a hiss of pheromones being released came out. I'd smelled it before, when he was feeding the [siblings], but since I was in my new body, it'd gotten much stronger. It wasn't telling me to do anything, but... I could feel the urge to follow it, like it was leading me to [food]. There was no [food] though, it was just a box. Unless... the [food] was in the box? I poked at the sides, trying to see if there was an opening to check. [custodian] laughed, and got up, walking to his fridge as the
[custodian] came back over and dropped a bucket on the ground. I perked up as I smelled the familiar tang of [food] fill the air, and I wiggled over to see if I could get some. He pushed me back, and started taking out giant pieces of [food] as big as me, and tossed them to the [siblings]. I waved my hands and vocalized, I wanted [food] too, I hadn't eaten since... I forgot when, but it had to have been a while ago by now, a day or two? [custodian] pulled the last big chunk of [food] out of the bucket, and as he turned to throw it to the last [sibling], I made my move. I slipped up behind him and crawled up and over into the bucket, pulling scraps of [food] off the walls and biting them, surrounded by a wonderful, wonderful smell. I crawled in deeper, and my hand splashed in something wet, and I gasped.
This was one of the things my [food] had been missing! [nectar]... I scooped it up with my hands, slurping the [nectar] greedily and letting myself fall into the bucket, it was so, so good... It was like [food] and [life blood] were the same thing, I could live on this, who needs two things when you could just have one? I felt [custodian] pick me up and grumble, but I wiggled down for one last sip as I was carried over to the sink.
As [custodian] put [life blood] on me to get rid of the sticky red-brown [nectar], he shook his head "I was trying to show you the effects of pheromones, not feed you."
"H-k-k-g-g-g-k-h-k-kk-k-h..." I replied as he dried me off
[Well I was hungry, and you had [food] right there...]
"You're right, you're right, it wasn't fair." he admitted "But remember, you're supposed to be on your best behavior this week..."
I glared at him. When was I not on my best behavior? I behaved great, a girl can't get a snack now?
"Ok, we'll try it with samples, once the others go back underground." he said "Here, watch this..."
He brought me back to the couch, and pushed another button. The smell changed, and suddenly I was so very, very sleepy. The [siblings] crawled away, and burrowed back into the dirt, and I tried to get out of [custodian]'s hands to get to [nest]. All I could think about was sleeping, for some reason....
"No no, it's too early for that." he said, and switched off the machine. I blinked, suddenly more alert. I still wanted to go to [nest], but... not as badly anymore.
"See, that's pheromones, I can make you guys want to sleep, eat, fight, protect... other stuff you're too young to know about..."
I was not too young, and I let him know as much by making a hole with my fingers and poking another finger through them.
He chuckled "Yes, that. But not for you, you're not built for that."
I waved my hands, why was he telling me all this? I knew he could control the pheromones, I'd seen him do it a dozen times.
"Ok, calm down, it's ok." he said "You have the power to make all these pheromones too, and you can make them very, very strong."
I shook my head and shrugged. I didn't know the first thing about doing any of that.
"Look, here..." he twisted the side of the box, and slid out a tray of tubes. I knew there wasn't any [food] in it, just science stuff.
He pulled one of them out, and twisted the lid slightly "This is the one I use to make the other ones like me, so they see me as one of them and don't eat me, here, smell it..."
I sniffed the jar, and sure enough, it smelled like [custodian], that weird smell that made me know he was a friend. I nodded, and sat back.
"You actually make a very similar scent, one that tells the other ones to not only see you as one of them, but to protect you too. It was very hard to get all these different pheromones into you guys, most centipedes only have one or two different kinds."
I looked down at myself and sniffed under my arms. I had just gotten washed off, but I didn't smell anything...
"No no, not there... here." [custodian] said, lifting me up and pointing to my underbelly "It comes out of here, from in between your segments. Here, try and make the pheromones now, just think of the scent I just showed you, and try to make that, ok?"
Make... pheromones? It was a little much for me, but I closed my eyes and felt around on my insides with my brain, my lower one, I think. I could feel some kind of... oily bits, in between the segments, was that it? I wiggled my body a little to see, and I could feel trace amounts of the oil getting on my shell. That... must be it. I was supposed to be copying the 'friend' stuff though, not the 'protect' stuff. I tried to think of how it went, it was like a pattern in my nose, like... [AbAcAbAA], or something like that? I couldn't quite understand the 'notes' but it sounded right. I 'played' the notes in the areas with the oil, and tried to push the notes out as I wiggled. I think it was pretty close... I was good at this, I guess having a special brain built for it was helpful after all!
"Oh, oh!" [custodian] said, and I opened my eyes. He was looking at the lights on the box and smiling wide, holding a small rod up to my lower body "You did it! You replicated it exactly! You're reading the same as if I had just doused you in the fluids!"
I shrugged and smiled smugly. It wasn't hard, it was just playing notes back, like one of those memory games with the four buttons. I was going to be controlling the [siblings] in no time, then I'd be able to take myself to the GGDS offices and get them to test me.
"Now I know you can do it, so..." [custodian] said "next, we need to work on getting you to be able to replicate all 12 unique pheromones I've developed, on command. Can you do that?
I blinked. That was... Memorizing 12 different strings of notes and applying them, and remembering which ones they were, and... I slumped. That would take my upper brain, no relying on instinct there. I gave a sad thumbs up, and sat up to give it a shot.
"It's ok, we have lots and lots of time for you to learn, it doesn't have to be today, or even this week. Let's focus on the two most important ones for now, 'friend' and 'protect', ok?"
I steeled myself and rubbed my nose, ready to memorize. If I wanted to get my old life back- or even just get a life back, I needed to excel, and I could excel, I knew I could.
~~~
I waited by the elevator, my lower body scurrying back and forth while I held my upper body in one spot. It was almost time, so close... I tapped my legs and tried not to play the [frenzy] notes with my pheromones, but it was hard. She was almost here...
"Wiggling like that won't make her show up faster, you know!" [custodian] said from over on the couch
I ignored him, what did he know? I was happy to see her, I could wiggle if I wanted. The elevator dinged and I clapped my hands. I knew wiggling didn't really help, but still, I wiggled, and she was here!
The doors opened, and [progenitor] stepped out, holding a bag of items. She grinned down at me, and scooped me up with her free hand, pushing me onto her shoulder. I pressed my face into her neck, and sniffed. That was my smell, my original smell. It wasn't pheromones, but... I could copy it, I think. It was... [dCdGaB]? I'd have to remember that. I could work it into my notes, and mix it in to have my real me smell in the pheromones when I made them.
"Hey, wow, you're affectionate today!" [progenitor] said, rubbing my head.
I played the notes for [protection] and hugged her tighter, making sure the oils got on her. [custodian] said the [siblings] would stay sleeping unless he woke them up, but... I wanted to show [progenitor] that I could use my pheromones now, and if they woke up from that, she needed to be safe.
"Hm... you smell... spicy?" she said, setting the bag down on the table "Have you been eating something new?"
I shook my head and pointed to my underbelly, wiggling back and forth to show her.
"She's using her pheromones!" [custodian] explained "She learned how yesterday!"
He walked over and sniffed me, and laughed "It seems like she's making the one that makes the other centipedes want to protect you, I guess she's trying to keep you safe!"
[progenitor] pulled at her top and smelled it "Oh, huh..." she looked at me "Thank you very much, but the elevator already sprays me with a light coating of pheromones to keep me safe, but I appreciate your care!"
I rolled my eyes. The ones from the elevator were stale, and didn't have anything to do with [protection], just [friendly]. This was better, I didn't want her to get hurt by mistake. I crawled around her torso and onto the table, pulling at the bag. She'd mentioned a surprise last time, was this it?
"Oh you wanna see what I brought you?" she asked, opening it up and dipping her hand in "How about.... tah dah!"
She pulled out a small long sleeved top with holes cut under the arms for my lower set of arms and held it up to me "This was... very hard to find." she explained as she showed me how to put it on "There's not a lot of dolls your size that are proportioned correctly"
I pulled at the sleeves and looked at the new [upper shell]. It was... not warm, and it was kind of scratchy, but there was a nice picture of a bee on it, and it was nice to be wearing clothes again. I'd kind of forgotten I usually wore something on my skin. I pointed at myself and held up my hands in a 'how do I look?' way, turning this way and that.
"Oh! You want to see?" [progenitor] asked "Here, I can show you..."
She reached into her pocket and pulled out a phone- not our phone, a new phone, the round, circular screen being the only part, touch screen too, and held the camera up to me "Ok, smile!"
I stared at the phone, that's what- that's why I was like this, that stupid phone. I wanted the phone so bad I just- I shook my head, this wasn't productive, it wasn't my phone, I was paying the price for it, but it was still hers, and I needed to let it go for now. I smiled and posed, and she snapped the picture.
She turned the phone around, showing me the screen, my first good look at myself. I looked... A lot like [progenitor], actually, in the face. My horns were the same shiny red and black as my body, my eyes were red where they should be white, with yellow irises and black pupils, and I was far, far paler than any human I'd ever seen. I really did look more like an infernal than a human. That wasn't a problem, I wasn't one of those assholes who still treated former inhumans like less-thans, I was dating a goblin for gods' sakes. Or, I was dating a goblin, not anymore, I suppose.... I looked very closely at the picture, looking for anything unusual, my face was still pretty, I would have liked light makeup, but I was much too small for that now, and no one could see me anyway... My cheeks seemed to be slightly puffier than [progenitor]'s though, was that baby fat? Or... I flexed, pulling them in, and I felt something in the back of my mouth slide, and suddenly two sharp [fangs] were jutting out of my mouth, one from each cheek.
That was new...
I glanced up at [progenitor], who had jumped back at the [fangs] popping out and I waved my hands, pulling them back in. I plucked at my [upper shell] and gave her a thumbs up and a smile. She sat down slowly, and frowned at me.
"Those... I didn't know you had those... Are they full of poison?" she asked
I shrugged, I didn't know about them either, until just a minute ago. I wiggled my tail though and patted my cheeks, pulling them in and out a few times to get the feeling of it. This was good, this made me feel much safer. It was scary being this small, now I could [protect] myself and [progenitor] if something bad happened.
"Hey, I need you to keep those away when you're around me, ok?" she said gently "I wouldn't want an accident to happen."
I shook my head, there would be no accidents, I could use them to fight! I mimed someone punching, then I mimed biting them, and then dying, and nodded confidently at [progenitor]. I would only use them on bad guys. Or... good guys? Guys that were bad to us, heroes, most likely.
"I... yeah, you can use them to fight anyone who wants to hurt us, but unless that's happening, keep them away. I don't want to be paralyzed."
Most [siblings] venom wasn't strong enough to make people do any more than swell up, but... I was pretty special, so I could see that maybe mine was strong enough to hurt someone pretty bad. I put my hands over my mouth and nodded to her. I needed to protect her at all costs, even from myself, it seemed.
"I think they're very cool though!" she said "They're just dangerous. Now, do you like the top?"
I let her know I do by posing a few times in poses I remembered from the fashion posts I used to look at on our old phone, and she laughed.
"Good! Because..." she reached in the bag again "I got two more!"
These [upper shells] were different materials, one more of a spandex with a dolphin on it, and one was more like felt, and had a flying eyeball on it. I guess there was a nature theme going on? They were still cute though, and I clapped and took them from her. I'd have to start using these around the house. Not when I was in [nest], I liked the feeling of [leaves] on my skin, but when I was doing my training and stuff.
"I'm so glad you like them!"
Her hand dipped into the bag and slowly drew out... A mango? Ooooh, mango! I used to love mangos, I'd eat them like apples. I hadn't realized how much I'd missed them... It was strange, my brain wasn't replacing that word, was it a glitch? It should have swapped it out with the idea for the other stuff I eat, but... I shouldn't think too hard about it though, it was my favorite thing to eat from when I was a human, and my brain was letting me recognize it! I scurried back and forth across the table, hands reached out to show her I wanted it.
"Yeah, I thought so!" she said "Let me get a knife and I can cut you some of it, ok?"
I walked over to my 'seat' at the table and waited, excited as she got out a plate and [fangs] to cut it up. She put a small pile of mango bits in front of me and some of front of her, and sat down.
"Ok, let's dig in!" she said
I pulled off my [upper shell] and threw it to the side so it wouldn't get sticky, and picked up a chunk with my hands and took a big bite. My mouth exploded with flavor, the sticky sweet, the firm texture, the buttery, tangy pang of fruit. I moaned in pleasure, and took another bite, the juice running down my front, the bit in my hands almost as big as my head. I felt alive, this was a real, human enjoyment, not my lower brain telling me it was good because I needed it, not instincts, nothing like that, it was pure, absolute top brain pleasure. I took bite after bite, mashing it with my tongue and tearing it with my teeth, sucking the juice out and licking it off my fingers. This was the single best thing I'd ever tasted, and I needed as much of it as I could get.
"Wow! You're really going to town!" [progenitor] laughed "Gods, you're so cute... I wish..."
She looked over her shoulder at [custodian] "Well... I guess when the 'take over the world' thing doesn't work out he'll let me have you..."
Let her have me? I was my own person, I'd go with whoever I liked most. At the moment though, it was absolutely her, and these mangos were helping a lot with that. I finished my pile of mango bits and burped, covering my mouth like I was a fancy lady the way I did when I was around my boyfriend to make him laugh. [progenitor]'s eyes widened at that, and she looked at me with an intensity that made me feel hopeful, was this is? Was a burp the thing that finally tipped her off?
"Sometimes I swear you got more than my instincts and motor skills from that chair..." she said under her breath.
I felt a wave of excitement, yes! yes! I nodded rapidly and pointed back and forth between us, she was so close! She saw it! She reached in with a damp napkin and rubbed the juice off my chest, shell, and face and sighed.
"I'm sorry I can't be your mother all the time..." she said "I want to, I didn't know what I was getting into. I'd love to see the little things that crossed over, to see how you copy me, I just... my uncle says he needs you here..."
My excitement faded, and I lowered my hands. So not a breakthrough... Just regret at not being here for me as much. Well, she should be regretful. She's my only connection to the outside world, my humanity, who I really am, and she's here, what, a fourth of my waking time? I filled with sadness, not just because she didn't put two and two together, but because I needed my [progenitor] here with me... My instincts told me I was supposed to ride her, stay by her when I was wandering, sleep underneath her, and we just got a few hours here and there to barely bond. I knew it was stupid, and I felt like a child for it, but I hugged her hand as she cleaned me off, hugging her to me and crying, holding her hand close as if I could pull her into me and get the [progenitor] my body told me I needed.
"Oh, baby..." she said, sadly, and picked me up, hugging me, insect body and all to her body. She stood and walked over to the lab where [custodian] was mixing chemicals and stood behind him until he turned and noticed her.
"Hm? Yes?" he asked, looking at me, still crying "Is everything ok?"
"She... she needs me, more than she's getting me." [progenitor] said "She's a baby, I know she's smart, but you told me last time I was here that she's still a nymph, she's still a baby. Babies need their mothers..."
"Well..." he said "I know, but this stage is so, so important. She's learning so much now! And I need to train and condition her for the outside world... It's just too much for her right now."
[progenitor] took a deep breath "Could we bump Tuesday to Saturday?"
[custodian] sighed "No, I really think she needs that extra time, to grow. You'll still see her on Saturday, of course, but... we need to make sure she's ready first."
[progenitor] hugged me tighter, but she nodded, and slowly walked over to the couch, rubbing her face on my skin. That's not where the [protect] comes from, so I couldn't re-up her layer, but it does feel nice, so I let her do it, and use all four of my hands to squish her cheeks to show her that I don't mind. I spend the rest of her time with me in her lap watching kid's programing, trying to sound out the letters on screen. It wasn't working, but at least [progenitor] was proud I was trying. I fell asleep during a commercial break, and when I woke up, she was gone. I tried not to cry, but not even being able to say goodbye hurt almost as much as her having to leave, and it was a couple hours before I was up for doing any more training with [custodian].
~~~
The next day was largely spent with [custodian] and the little box, learning and training on the different patterns and smells, trying to remember which word he said correlated to which pattern, and what each did. I'd have much rather spent the time watching the TV, I was starting to recognize other noises in my own vocal patterns, and I thought that if I could just get a little more practice, I might be able to string them along into words. It wouldn't be easy, the pheromones came like notes to a song I already knew, and I could just play them on notes that I knew like the back of my hand- or the inside of my body, more realistically. The sounds on the TV and from [custodian] were... hard. I could understand them, but not copy them, and when I tried to copy them directly, only clicking and chittering came out. I'd need to actually work on learning how to copy each sound with my new mouth and throat, and string them together into complete words. That was a pretty big problem, because... I couldn't even figure out how to make the 'aah' sound consistently.
By the end of the day, I stank like every note I could make, the full range of pheromones, and even I was getting overwhelmed from them. [custodian] washed me up though, dunking me in a small tub of soap and [life blood] and letting me play around for a while, a slight oil sheen appearing on the top of the water as I cleaned myself off. It wasn't as nice as I remember [rain] being, but for some reason, I was banned from the [rain box], so I had to do this instead. Something about me not being able to 'process' the [rain box], whatever that meant. I lay in the warm [life blood], letting the liquid seep into me, focusing on breathing with only my nose and mouth instead of the holes on my thorax like I was used to, and I tried to let myself relax. I was... slipping, somehow, I could feel it. It wasn't just the words and the moods, I was becoming someone else the more I spent like this, and I wasn't sure I liked it.
Things felt so much more like this, emotions stronger, smells more powerful, tastes more tasty, everything was turned up to 11, and it was too much for me to take in all at once usually. I was experiencing more overall, but I could only focus on one or two things at a time without getting distracted. Was I like that before? I didn't think I had been, but if [custodian] was in the other side of the room doing stuff, he was almost fully out of my mind and out of my awareness. I could still remember he was there, but if I was watching TV, it was like that's the only thing in the world at that time. I suppose my phone had been like that at times, but was it so all encompassing?
I got out of the small basin of [life blood] and rolled around on the rough, not-soft [leaves] [custodian] had left for me to dry off. There was so much about this body I didn't know, so much about this brain, and I had no way of knowing any of it. In a last ditch effort to understand at least a little, I went across the floor to the counter and climbed up, pulling [custodian]'s notebook out and opening it. Like before, the words and letters were just basic squiggles, but there were also pictures, basic sketches. That's what I was interested in. I saw the chair, the crown, the tubes he was always tinkering with, but with a person inside the tubes? That seemed odd... I looked over at them across the lab area from the counter, and tried to make out the shapes. There was... something in there, it didn't look human though. The [siblings] had been hatched from eggs, so it wasn't more of them, but he'd never shared that part of his work with me before.
The rest of the book was unhelpful, just drawings and scribbles of things I'd already seen, including a lot of me, but nothing I could understand enough to do anything with. I closed the book and dropped off the counter. I might as well do something else then, I should... explore, I'd stayed in the lab and living area most of the time I was here, only venturing out onto the dirt floor that took up the other half of the room when I was doing pheromone training, and that tunnel off to the end of the other side of the room looked very interesting. I had never been allowed to go over there before, it was 'too dangerous', but now that I was almost the same as [siblings], it couldn't be too bad. I worked up a good coating of [protection] and made my way over to it. I knew the [siblings] liked to hide in here when they weren't under the dirt, and I think some lived in there, but... I had never seen inside, and [custodian] had only gone in there once that I'd seen in my time down here.
It was kind of exciting, like I was exploring an abandoned building, or I was getting to see inside a secret fort. I slipped into the dirt passageway and looked around, the dim light making it hard to see. My dark vision had gotten slightly better in the time since I'd woken up, but it still wasn't great yet. I mostly navigated by smell, feeling the twisting, turning passages turn off the main one and loop back around. There was a strong smell of [protect] coming from one of the tunnels, to the back, and I cautiously worked my way down it, coming to the end to find a massive [sibling], curled up over a pile of hundreds of nymphs, all about my size. I gasped, and scurried closer, I'd prefer to have [progenitor], but a mother was a mother! I put out more [protect] and tried to squirm under the giant [sibling]'s legs, but she reached down with her front legs and pulled me away, putting me down the passageway. I tapped my feet in frustration, I was her queen, where did she get off? I ran back over and tried to push my way in again, to the same result. I growled and shook my head. There must be a way to tell what nymph was yours and which was someone else's, I just couldn't tell the difference myself yet.
I sulked off down the tunnel again, and turned to find myself in front of a large steel door. I pushed at it, but it stayed sealed. What was in there? Was it more [siblings]? There was a very faint breeze coming from under the door, with a spicy [food] smell to it. I tried to use my legs to dig under it, but there was [rock] in the way, the manmade kind of [rock] people made buildings and sidewalks out of. I chewed my lip lightly and looked for a handle. There was a weird hole in the door, but damned if I could figure out how a hole could open a door... I gave up, and headed back to the living area, it wasn't too big a deal, it was most likely a storage closet or something, anyway.
~~~
I let myself skitter again, wiggling in front of the elevator. It was Saturday again already, and while it was hard to believe I'd been in this body for a week now, that also meant I- well, [progenitor], was scheduled to come see me again! I doubted she'd bring me as many goodies as she had on Thursday, but still, just seeing her was nice. Her smell, her care, the way she tried to understand me as a person... [custodian] did his best, but he still saw me as the 'queen', the key to him taking over the world. He was kind, but in a different way... I hoped she'd bring another mango, that was the highlight of my week so far. [food] was good, and [nectar] was amazing, but mangos made me feel human again. Finally, finally after ages of waiting and getting tired, the elevator dinged and soon slid open, showing her in all her beauty. Not to be vain, but she was gorgeous, and I know that was largely the scents speaking- I remembered only being slightly above average before- but I just loved to look at her...
She grinned down at me, snatching me up and rubbing her face in my tummy. I was wearing the flying eye shirt because it was the warmest, but I wish I wasn't, so I could feel her more. I hugged her face with all arms, wrapping them around her cheeks and vocalizing happily, her domino mask pressing into my face. She laughed, and pulled me off, holding up a small bag I'd missed before.
"I got your fav!" she sang "We can cut it up and have it later!"
"Only of she eats more meat!" [custodian] said from the lab "It's not good for her to just eat fruit, so she can have the mango, but only if she eats an equal amount of chicken, too!"
"Aw, that won't be a problem, right?" [progenitor] said "She's a good girl, she'll eat her good meat before her treat!"
I really didn't want to waist valuable stomach space on [food] when I had mango right there, but... I nodded anyway. [progenitor] brought me over to the lab area where [custodian] was and pulled folded papers out of her pocket, with me clinging to her jacket with my claws as she let go of me.
"Here, these are the final notices for the internship program, if I don't get them signed by next week... I won't get any credit for this whole semester. Could you talk to the people who set up the shell company this week please? I'll still come in, of course, but I really do need the credits."
"Oh! Well, I do have a meeting with them soon, I can get the signature then, I'm sorry it's taken so long." he said apologetically
"It's fine!" she said, setting the papers down and resting her hand on my back where it belonged "I just don't want to have to go to a different lab too next semester, it'd cut back on my hours here, and I absolutely don't want that, especially now that I'm a mom... Anyway, what should I be working on today?"
"Hm, I'm getting ready for that meeting, and... there's not much to do, you could clean up the living area a little?" he said
[progenitor] raised an eyebrow "I'm... not a maid, Unc."
He laughed "I know, I know! But your baby lives there too now, don't you want her home to be tidy?"
She eyed me, and slowly nodded "Yeah, that makes sense. It's not maid work, it's... mother work, yeah."
"There's nothing wrong with being a maid, you know." [custodian] said "My mother was a maid, a long time ago."
"No, but- I'd rather think of it as being a mom, if it's all the same."
He nodded, and gave her a smile. "The cleaning supplies are under the sink, don't worry about the bathroom, I'll do that. She never goes in there anyway."
[progenitor] nodded and got to work, me wrapped around her neck as she scrubbed the counters and table, did the dishes, and got rid of the film of dirt that coated everything. I hated the smells of the [poison] she sprayed everywhere as she cleaned, but I ducked my head under her jacket and smelled her instead, the good smell. I could replicate it perfectly, but it wasn't the same when it came from me for some reason, it was... less 'lived in'. Once she was done scrubbing everything, she moved to my [nest], and picked up the [leaves], shaking it out in the air. She frowned and turned it left and right, and looked over at [custodian].
"Hey, her blanket is showing signs of mold, keeping it wet and under a heat lamp all the time will do that. Can I head up to the laundromat and get it clean?"
"I usually just wash things in the shower, with a bucket and a washboard..." [custodian] said "It seems a waste to pay for a machine to do it for me, but if you like, I'll get my bedclothes together too, so you can wash a full load."
"Ok, yeah, and don't worry, I'll pay for it, it's fine." [progenitor] said, slightly annoyed "Can I bring her with me? I can keep her hidden, she's not that big."
"She's two feet long..." he sighed "There's no way to hide her in your jacket, and like I said, she needs a little more time. She can stay down here for now."
"Uuuugh, fine, whatever, ok." she grumbled. She pulled me off her shoulder and rubbed her nose against mine "Hey, baby... I gotta get your blanket clean so you don't get sick, ok? I'll be back soon, and we can eat your treat together, ok?"
I made a whimpering noise, and pulled at her clothes, it's not fair, I was a human too, it was just the dumb laundromat. No one would even care...
"Hmm, I'll made a deal, while I'm gone, you can eat your meat, ok? And when I get back, I'll see how much you ate, and you can eat that much mango! That way you're not wasting time with me eating your healthy stuff!"
It... would make sense. I wasn't a quick eater, and I didn't want to be staring at fresh cut mango while trying to eat [food]... I nodded at her, and she smiled, pulling me off her and setting me on the now-shiny table.
"Here you go!" she said, pulling my tray of [food] bits out of the fridge and setting it in front of me "I'll take a picture of it before I go, so we know how much mango you can eat!"
She snapped a photo with her phone- that phone...- and waved goodbye. I waved back, and as she left, I faced the plate. Ok, so how was the best way to do this?...
~~~
I ate my sixth [food] chunk and thought about how full I was. I could eat another six chunks, but could I eat another eight? I didn't want to waste any mango, but every [food] I ate was twice as much food as it seemed, due to the mango coming later. I eyed the smallest bit of [food] left, and frowned, was it worth it?... I decided against it, and went over to the couch to watch TV instead. I flipped through the channels until I came to the one that usually showed kid's edutainment stuff, but they were doing some kind of drive for funds instead. One of the Children of Battle, Spud Gun, was showing off his abilities on set while a donation counter ticked slowly up in the corner. He was charismatic enough, he had a disarming country-boy attitude that lent itself well to the screen, and his power to transform anything into a gun, with varying levels of lethality, was a fun one to watch. Still, I wanted to learn, and watching him make a bowling ball into a rocket launcher that lobbed bowling pins across a studio wasn't teaching me anything.
I moaned and rolled around on the cushion, kicking all my feet and waving my arms. She needed to hurry up and get back already, I was getting bored... There was nothing to do down here except eat, do flash cards, put puzzles together, and watch TV, and none of those sounded interesting to me at all. I stopped rolling and grumbled, poking my head up over the sofa to see what [custodian] was doing. Just... poking away at his science stuff, again. I didn't know what was so important, I was already finished after all, but he just kept mixing liquids and poking buttons and stuff. If I could read, I'd be fine, I'd get on one of his computers and look at CirNet and maybe make a friend or two, but I still couldn't read, and nothing I did seemed to help with that.
I was so, so tired of being like this, of being stuck, of being a bug. I wanted to get out, to be free, to see people. I really wanted to be myself again. I was getting used to this body, but I was still stuck like this, trapped in a body that wasn't mine, or, not really mine. And I didn't even have anything to take my mind off it except [progenitor], and that was hardly fair to her. I was starting to think I wasn't ever going to get my shot to let everyone know who I was or how human I was, and that scared me. If I had my phone or something I could dive into social media and forget about it, but I was stuck here, trapped with my thoughts, day in and day out.
I went over to [nest], maybe I could nap while she was- I stared at my empty [nest], the [leaves] missing, and remembered that the whole reason she left was to clean [leaves].... I felt like a dumbass, but I sighed and climbed in anyway. [sun] was hot and dry, and I didn't like being under it, but I had nothing better to do. I closed my eyes and covered my head for what seemed like ages until I heard the ding again. I perked up, and quickly dunked my head in the cup of [life blood] next to [nest], gulping it down and getting nice and damp again. I dashed over to the doors just as they opened, and [progenitor] stepped out, holding a bag full of laundry.
"Heyy!" she said "miss me?"
I nodded and waved up at her to pick me up. She bent, and dipped with her hand, lifting me up and I scurried onto her shoulder.
"Why are you all wet?" she asked, using the clean pillowcase from her bag to dab me off "Did you take a bath?"
I pointed to the cup next to [nest] and then to my mouth.
"...huh." she said "We've gotta find a way for you to drink that doesn't involve you soaking yourself."
We did? I didn't think so. Damp was nice, I liked soaking myself, it made me feel safer. I pulled at her neckline, we were waisting time though, we had mangos to eat!
"Ok, ok!" she said, laughing "I just gotta put the laundry up."
She pulled out the stuff for [custodian]'s [nest] and tossed it on top of it, not making it nice like he had it. That was fine, he could do that later, I didn't want her to waste her time. She reached back in the bag and pulled out- Wait... that wasn't [leaves]... This was green, and had frogs on it, had she gotten the wrong one? I pointed and shook my head, stressed. This wasn't right, it wasn't mine, she needed to go back and-
"Hey, no, it's ok!" she said, laying it on [nest] "I got you another one, so one can dry off each day, that way it won't get yucky as fast, see?"
She pulled the one with rainbows on it out of the bag too, and lay it folded up on the table. I relaxed, that was close, I'd thought she'd lost it. I needed that... Still... I looked at the frog covered <[leaves] and thought about it. It looked like the same kind of [leaves] as the rainbow one... It should be fine, and I'd still get to use my rainbow one. It sounded like she did it so she wouldn't have to leave me on her days as often, and that was great too. I hugged her cheek, and let her know as best as I could with my noises that I was happy. I gave her a quick peck on the cheek, and felt her smile.
"I'm glad you like it... Now, how much meat did you eat?"
I moved from her arm down to the table, and pointed at the chunks, then held up six fingers proudly. Even if I didn't know how to read the symbol for six, I could still count on my fingers and in my head.
"Let's see..." she said, pulling out her phone and sitting down. I heard her counting under her breath, and comparing her phone to the tray, and nodded "Good counting! That means you get six pieces of mango!"
I clapped and turned in a circle, I'd waited so, so long, finally...
"You know, uh, your shift ended fifteen minutes ago..." [custodian] said, walking around the corner "Just letting you know..."
I wilted and glared at him. Why'd he have to tell her? It's not like he was paying her by the hour...
"Yeah, I know." she said, putting the [food] away and getting a [fang] for the mango "I'm not on the clock, I'm just hanging out with my daughter right now."
Daughter... That was still so weird, but it felt more and more right. I knew I physically was her daughter, or- half a clone of her, at least, and isn't that what kids are anyway? Mentally though, I just wish I had a chance to show her that we had much more in common than she thought, to show my intelligence. I was getting the sneaking suspicion that I wasn't as smart as I thought I was, or at least I was smart in a different way than I was used to, and that called into question how much of me I really was. I knew I was me, her, however you say it, but... I felt like my mind hadn't been as focused on [food] and pheromones and stuff before. That could just be a side affect of not having my phone, but it was still concerning.
I watched [progenitor] cut up the mango, anticipating, but also thinking. Should it be concerning? Should I be this worried about getting back my old life, or proving to them that I had an old life? I didn't know how my family or boyfriend would react to me like this, and [progenitor] was already living our life for us, was there a place in it for me? What could I even do with my life like this? I slumped. This was a hard line of thought...
I didn't know if there was much point, I only wanted to help take over the world to show people I was smart, I only wanted to learn to talk for the same reason, if it didn't matter that I was smart, or that I was myself, then... what did matter? What did any of this matter? I felt myself falling into a state of sadness, this life wasn't mine, it wasn't even a life. I was just an insect in the dirt, trying to pretend she still has a chance at being human.
I looked at <[progenitor], she, at least, was a bright spot. [custodian] was great, but he wasn't amazing or anything, if I made him upset, it was no big deal. I just wished I had some reason to care, past a pipe dream of wanting others to see the inside of my mind and understand me, but there wasn't anything. I couldn't even have kids, so the basic biological drive was gone too.
"Here baby, are you ok?" [progenitor] asked, setting a plate in front of me. "You look sad, what's wrong?"
I looked at the yellow-orange squares on the plate and reached out, picking one up. It was slightly firm, sticky, and cold to the touch. I took a bite, and felt the flavor go through me. I chewed slowly, thinking about my life, and my future. These, mangos helped. They made me feel real, they didn't overwrite my brain, and that was something, right? I looked up at [progenitor], her face twisted in worry as she looked down at me, and I felt tears slide down my cheeks. I needed this, this, this feeling of being loved, and sharing food, and being part of a family, this is what made it worth going on, right? The thing that made it a bad idea to pump out a ton of [food] pheromones and feed myself to the [siblings] when no one was looking...
"Honey, you're crying, is everything ok?" she bent down to see me better, and I smiled at her through a mouthful of mango and eyes full of tears. I stroked her cheek with one of my clean hands and nodded to her.
Everything was ok, I'd found something that made it all worth it, it was ok.
~~~
"Now, I need you to stay quiet during this meeting, understand?" [custodian] said "I'd like you to stay in your bed and be quiet, I don't know what she'd do to you if she found you. She's an inhuman of some kind, a rare one, and seems to hate others making more inhumans for some reason... I know you're not technically inhuman because you don't have an official race, but she might not make the distinction."
I shuffled nervously, but I nodded. I'd never actually seen the benefactor of his work before, she'd always come on days when I wasn't working. I knew she stressed him out, though, and I wasn't looking forward to meeting her.
The elevator made the warning ding, and I bolted, ducking into my [leaves]. I poked my head out just enough to see a woman in a pinstriped suit step out, flanked by two tall secret agent-looking people in solid black suits. She had straight grey hair, but didn't look more then 10 years or so older than [progenitor], and every inch of her skin was covered in pink and black squiggles. Tattoos, maybe? She strode through the living area, her gaze flicking down to my [nest] for a moment as she walked to the lab area.
"I'm here to check on your progress, you mentioned you had a new strain?" she said, crossing her arms. Her bodyguards moved around to the other side of [custodian], boxing him in.
"Ah, y-yes, I have a sample of it right here, it's the most potent strain I've ever seen, it should fully paralyze every part of your body, cause massive nerve damage, and I even managed to get some fungi strains in it that should disrupt cell replication and stop any kind of regeneration you experience." he sounded nervous
"Fungi?..." she asked "I thought you worked with insects."
"I do, I do!" he said quickly "but centipedes actually borrowed a lot of their venom from fungi and external bacteria instead of evolving it themselves, so it was easy to just borrow a little more."
"I see." the lady said, sounding uninterested "Is it ready to test?"
"I- we can, if you like." he said, picking up a small vial.
The lady pulled down her undershirt, unbuttoning it, and pointed to a spot in her upper chest, next to her sternum. "Here." she said
"That's not a safe- oh, oh of course." [custodian] said, and lifted the needle.
Was he going to kill someone? It sounded like she wanted it, but... he was so friendly and happy, even killing someone as a favor to them seemed like it was fully out of his morals. I squirmed as he plunged the needle into her. She didn't even flinch as the liquid was pumped into her chest. She sat still as he withdrew the empty needle, and stood there, eyes closed, her hand on her chest, thinking.
"Hm, it's working, I can feel it- Hrk!" she doubled over, and fell to the floor, body convulsing, and twitching.
I bit my lip, she was dying, should I do something? What could I do? The bodyguards were doing nothing, not even watching as her chest began to ooze blood and thick black liquid, staining her undershirt and drooling onto the floor. She gasped, her breath halting and shallow, and her eyes rolled around in her head, her fingers clawing at nothing as the black spot on her chest spread.
I flapped my hands, this wasn't right, this was horrible, she was rotting right in front of us, why was no one doing anything? Movement caught my eye, and her festering wound burst with worms, sliding and slipping around, tightening on her skin. Her breathing started again, normal and clear, and she calmed down, her body relaxing as the rot somehow retreated under her skin.
She caught her breath and stood, rubbing the spot, wiping the fluids off and showing discolored but intact skin. She took a deep breath, and re-buttoned her top, and turned to face [custodian].
"That was... One of the stronger venoms I've come across. Your work is coming along very well. It needs to be much, much stronger though, and the cellular disruption needs more of a focus, I overcame that within seconds, and then, of course, it was all downhill."
[custodian] nodded "Ah, of course! Of course, thank you for the feedback, I'll make sure the next batch is much stronger, I assure you."
"I look forward to it. Thank you for your time." she said, snapping her fingers at the two bodyguards. She started for the elevator, and I realized [custodian] had forgotten something. I didn't understand what had just happened, and I was terrified, but I wasn't going to let my fear hurt [progenitor]'s future. I dashed out of my [nest] and up to the lady, pointing to the counter, vocalizing. [custodian]'s eyes widened, and he hissed in a breath as her eyes fell on me with a look of strange disgust.
"What are you?" she asked, stepping away from me, her face twisting with anger
"She- she's just a side project, she controls the others with pheromones, she's harmless." [custodian] said, his voice shaking
"I hardly pay you to make 'harmless' things, why is she trying to talk to me?" she snapped
I dashed over to the counter and climbed up, picking up [progenitor]'s papers and shaking them at her.
"Oh, oh!" he said, running over "I had forgotten, she's reminding me that I need your signature to make sure the intern I hired gets school credit for working for me!"
The woman rolled her eyes "I see. This intern helps you with the work I hired you to do?"
"She- yes, she's quite invaluable." he nodded quickly
"Hm..." she looked at the papers "I'll sign, but I don't want you getting any more assistants of any kind without clearing them through me first, understand?"
"Oh, of course..." he said, smiling nervously
"And as for you." her hand snapped out and grabbed me around the torso, squeezing tight "I don't want to see you ever again, do you understand me? We have enough inhumans and abominations running around without people making more."
I squeaked and thrashed, her nails poking into me, my body feeling like it was trapped in a vice. I considered biting her, but if [custodian]'s super venom did nothing, mine wouldn't even make her flinch...
"I can overlook the ones who walk and speak, they, at least, are real people, but you? You just writhe and chatter like a monster, you add nothing to the world. The fact my money paid for you makes me sick." she continued
"She's just a baby!" [custodian] said "She'll be better when she's older, she'll talk and she'll be a huge help with keeping the others in line!"
"It doesn't change the fact that she's a sin against the gods." the lady snarled "As someone who's lived through that humiliation herself, the idea of making someone to be an abomination is a hateful idea. My esteem of you had dropped today, despite the progress on the poison."
She flung me across the room, and I bounced and rolled across the dirt floor, coughing and crying as I made impact. I flipped upright and dashed for the tunnels, slipping deep inside and hiding in a cubby I'd found. I sobbed, I really was an abomination, wasn't I? I knew it before, but hearing someone call me that like it was an insult instead of a word to describe created life... The gods would never let someone like me exist, they'd never let me into the afterlife or be re-born as a new person, I was a garbage, I just existed as a tool, not as a person. She'd only met me once, and at first glance had been able to tell what I was. I felt sick, and I couldn't tell how much of that was from being squeezed and how much was from the weight of being a horrible thing.
I lay there in the darkness, half under the dirt, and cried, laying there for a long, long time. I was vaguely aware of [custodian] looking for me, calling out to me softly, but I just burrowed deeper and curled up tighter, I didn't want him, I wanted [progenitor], but she wasn't here. I made myself go to sleep, she'd be here eventually, I could come out of the tunnels then...
~~~
I heard a noise, a long time later, something familiar, and a nice smell coming down the tunnel. I stirred from my little hole and poked my head out, had it really been that long? I slowly crawled out of the hole and down towards the noise, a voice.
"...baby?... Are you in there? It's ok, I'm here now, come on out, ok?" she said, her voice sounding stressed and worried
I turned a corner and saw [progenitor] in the entrance to the tunnels, her arms wrapped around herself. She saw me and relief washed over her face and she bent down and waved me over.
"Oh, thank the gods... Unc said you'd been in there for two days, are you ok?" she said, looking me over
I clicked at her, and rubbed my sides where the scary lady had squeezed me. They were still sore, and it hurt to press on them. Her face scrunched up and she nodded.
"He told me about that, he said you were trying to make sure I got college credit, and she squeezed you and yelled at you and threw you. That's an awful thing to go through just because you were trying to be helpful..."
I nodded, and held my hands up to her, clicking for her to pick me up.
"I'll hold you, lots, ok? But you're covered in mud for now, so come with me, I'll give you a bath and then we can cuddle. Me and Unc also think you earned that surprise we talked about, you've been a very good girl. Even if you didn't stay in your bed, you only left because you were trying to help out."
I let myself slump a little, but baths were nice, sometimes. I liked the [life blood] and the warm, and she'd be there scrubbing me down, so it'd be like she was holding me, right? We made our way over to the living area, and she got out the little plastic bin, filling it with hot [life blood] from the sink. She set it down, and I slipped into it, and she picked up a washcloth and some baby soap and began getting the mud and dirt off of me.
"So..." she started "Me and Unc were talking, and we think it would be helpful, especially after what happened on Sunday, for you to be around more people..."
I wiped my face and frowned at her, more people? Like, people from school? Other scientists?
"I brought it up a while ago, and he wanted to wait at least a full week, so we'd planned on today. We weren't sure how you getting hurt and scared would effect it, but he thinks you need to meet people more than ever, now, to make sure you don't develop a fear of them."
It was hard not to be scared of people, the were way taller than me, and they could hurt me, and I couldn't talk to them, and-
"So, I'm bringing you home with me, just for today and tonight, like a mommy-daughter sleepover, you'll meet my family- well, our family, and I invited my boyfriend over for dinner so he can hopefully get used to you..."
I lit up, arcing my back and clapping my hands, I was getting to see my family again?! I spun in the bath, splashing in the [life blood] and dancing, I'd missed them so, so much, this was wonderful! Maybe they'd even get to see that I was me! I made 'hurry up' motions with my hands to [progenitor] and pointed at the elevator.
"Oh, wow, ok!" she said "I didn't expect you to be so excited about it, we need to finish getting you clean first, to make a good first impression, but then we can head out!"
I danced a little more, and began rubbing at my shell, making it smooth and clean, I was getting to see my family again... We ended up needing to give me two baths, one to get the mud off, and another one with fresh water to clean the new mud off me from the dirty [life blood]. Eventually I was clean as a whistle and all dried off. She combed my hair so it lay silky and soft on my shoulders, and packed my [nest] and [leaves] into a plastic sack, and scooped me onto her arm.
"Ready to go?" she asked, a smile on her face. I nodded, and rubbed my face against hers, my heart trilling with joy.
She pushed the button to the elevator, and stuck a note to the inside of the elevator as we got in. I pointed to it, asking what it was in my clicking words.
"Hm? Oh, that's a sticky, you write on it and leave them for other people. This one is for Unc when he gets back, letting him know we headed out already."
I nodded. It was still frustrating not being able to read, but at least she could explain stuff to me. The elevator stopped, and she checked her mask and headband, finding them in place, and stepped out, walking along the path to the exit and going down the fire escape. She crept to the end of the alley and peeked out, looking left and right, stroking my shell as she did so. I peeked and looked around too, seeing a couple girls, a tall, red, horned one in a fluffy dress and a leafy one in short shorts and a tied top walking past on the other side of the street.
"Heros..." muttered [progenitor] "We'll have to hide you until we can get on the bus..."
I watched them walk past, turning down a side street, and slithered into the bag with my [leaves], burrowing into it. [progenitor] dipped out of the alley, heading the other way, and turning down a side street and taking off at a light jog, my bag bouncing as she moved quickly through the streets. Suddenly, a loud scream rang out from close by, and [progenitor] stopped, creeping forward, looking for the noise. What was she doing? We had a family to go see, we couldn't waste time checking out random screaming. We peeked around a corner, and saw a woman, phone to her ear, backing away from what looked like a giant cockroach of some kind, with vaguely humanoid features and a long skirt on. The cockroach was trying to wave her arms in a calming motion, but the woman just kept screaming. Someone on the other end of the phone picked up and she shouted into it, her voice panicked and shrill.
"Yes, I'm in section 247, on Banker's Street? There's a monster here! It's horrible, it's terrorizing the neighborhood, send heroes now!"
[progenitor] grit her teeth "That bug lady isn't even doing anything, she's just trying to live her life..." she said under her breath, petting me behind the antenna with her finger "We gotta get out of here, if she called the chosen on her, they'll look at my costume and you and lump us all together, come on, stay down, ok?"
I ducked lower as [progenitor] cut through a small street, pulling her costume parts off and shoving them in the bag with me. As we exited onto the main street, the two heroes passed us, running at full speed.
"Miss!" the horned one yelled "Did you see or hear anything just now?"
[progenitor] shrugged and shook her head, walking past them without a second glance.
Fuck chosen, all they did was drain money and resources from areas that needed it, and push their stupid corporate religions. Everywhere they went they caused property damage, hurt people, and pushed their way in where they weren't wanted or needed. If they didn't exist, we wouldn't even have the problems that they needed to 'fix'. They fell and became evil and that meant we 'needed' them to be around to fight other chosen, they caused criminals to escalate and fight harder putting people in more danger, they were the ones who caused the catastrophes that kept happening all over the world. No matter how you looked at it, we'd all be better off without any chosen at all.
I glanced up as we waited for the bus, [progenitor]'s face was screwed up in a dark expression, and I knew she was thinking the same thing. We'd lost our father to a chosen fight, he wasn't even chosen himself, just a super scientist who got carried away with his vegetable and dryad cross-breeds and made the GGDS scared. His sister was a villain in her own right too, having a costume and gadgets, but she'd always relied on others, like [custodian], to make her gear, she had no real ability herself. I hadn't seen her in years, but I knew she was out there, I'd see her pop up on the news from time to time, caught, escaped, stealing from banks and museums. I'd always looked up to her, but I knew I'd never be that agile and flexible, so I'd decided to become a minion instead, working in a lab, helping people with the spark to make wonderful creations.
I suppose that dream was dead, though. Still, I was some kind of minion, an abomination at that, and those were still very important in the movement against the chosen, we were the things that made super science scary, that made chosen want to fight un-powered nerds. However the future looked for me, I was still going to be doing my best to fight the good fight. Or- I suppose the bad fight? The moral fight, either way.
The bus pulled up, and we got on, [progenitor] hugging the bag to her chest, squishing me a little as she made her way to the back. I stayed low and stayed quiet, pulling my [leaves] tighter around me. It wouldn't be long now, we'd be home and safe, and I even got to sleep over. I was excited, even through my nervousness at having seen the heroes a few minutes ago. I wondered if we'd have good [food] at the house, or better yet, mangos... If Brandy was coming over for dinner, we would most likely be eating regular stuff, not just mangos, but I could dream, right?