"Godsdamnit Henri, what the fuck are you doing?" Marissa growled at her
Henri held the camera up higher and calmly walked over to the table we were at, sitting at the seat Quince had just left.
"I'm documenting you, I'm gathering evidence, obviously." She said, lifting her chin defiantly
I stood and walked across the table to her "Henri, you need to stop, I don't want this. We talked about it."
She looked down at me, and her eyes were full of hurt and pain. She lowered the camera to point at me before responding
"Klein fee, she's terrible, she hurts you... We need to rescue you, and this is the only way we can do it, we need to show how horrible she is..."
"I'm right here, you know." Marissa said angrily
"She's not that bad..." I said "She's- we- I mean... I think it's going to be ok. I don't want to leave her anymore."
With mild surprise, I realized I wasn't lying. After what she'd done to me, the pain, the suffocation, was one day of tenderness and playing enough to fix it? I felt a pang of fear and dread at the thought of her getting angry at me, or deciding I wasn't worth it, and I knew it wasn't enough. Still, I wanted to be worth it to her, despite myself, and I did like the feeling of being close to her. It was like having a raging angry dragon, and you're underneath it, protected from the flames and destruction by the very thing causing them...
Henri's eyes filled with tears, but she held them back "No, Amber, you don't mean it..."
I reached out and met the finger she extended to me with my hands "Henri, look. I think we have things figured out now, I think she's ok, and I think I can live with her more easily now."
She slumped, and set her phone on the table, looking at me despondently "...It's because I went too far, wasn't it?"
"With the lockers? Absolutely." Marissa said "I'm shocked you're not suspended right now."
Henri winced "I convinced them I did it because I thought Amber couldn't breathe in there..."
I shuddered, oh, the irony. Marissa made a slight hissing noise, and I could tell she was thinking the same thing.
"That's stupid, there's vents and stuff."
"...I was having a panic attack when they brought me in, I told them I wasn't thinking clearly. They recommended a therapist, and I'm on a kind of 'probation'."
"I think the lockers was too far, yeah." I said "But you know what else is too far?"
I waved at her outfit
"All... This. I don't even understand, are you trying to simulate being me? It's so creepy, wear your own clothes, we're not even the same size."
"Yeah, if you were just like, borrowing them, ok, whatever." Marissa said "But, like, taking her parents? And her room? It's like if you can't have her or whatever, you'll just become her."
Henri hugged herself "I just miss her... the clothes smell like her, my parents are an ocean away, and my dorm room is so small and lonely...."
"Well... You're scaring her." Marissa said bluntly
"You're just a lot right now, and you're really going overboard with a lot of the stuff you're doing." I said "I'm not trying to say we can't be friends, I care about you, but this isn't the you I know."
Henri looked between me and Marissa "So- so... If I can go back to how I was, if I can just be normal, you'll be ok with me and maybe we can-"
I kept my face neutral, but I felt my heart drop
"You never gave me a real answer, Amber..." she said sadly "...about my confession, I mean. You changed the subject each time. If I work hard to be 'normal', will you and Marissa give me a chance to date you?"
"What like both of us at once?" Marissa said, sarcastically
"No, just Amber, why would I date-" Henri's face flushed, then paled. She looked at me, horrified, then up to Marissa
"No..." she whispered
"It's not quite like that, Henri, we-" I said
"It's kinda like that." Marissa said "In a sub-dom kinda way."
Henri stood up, tears dripping to the table "I'm your best friend, klein fee, your first kiss, I confessed my love, and you go with this fucking bitch?!"
"Again, I'm right. Fucking. Here." Marissa said, her voice hard
"No, look, I live with her, she explained things, we're just trying out-" I tried to explain
"You could have lived with me, Amber!" Henri said, her voice raised "Why couldn't we try it out?"
"I'm a lot more persuasive than you, I guess." Marissa said, the grin in her voice ill fitting to the conversation
Henri looked at me, her eyes wide and confused, not comprehending "I love you, Amber, this person... this bitch, she doesn't. She doesn't even care about your safety."
"Hey, no." Marissa said, standing up herself "Her safety is my number one priority, don't you ever accuse me of not caring about that."
"Marissa loves me in her own way, I think." I said quietly, lowering my head "And she does kind of protect me, I guess."
"You've hurt her, haven't you?" Henri said tauntingly "That doesn't sound like caring to me."
"She's had accidents." Marissa clarified "And I learned, each time, that's normal. And YOU had an accident with her too, the first time I let you spend time with her."
They weren't all accidents... But I was pretty sure the phone was still recording, so I wasn't going to say anything. Not that they were listening to me anyway.
"Was kissing her an accident?" Henri taunted "I didn't know that wasn't ok when I did it, you did, and you did it anyway."
"Amber likes kisses from me, I made sure of that." Marissa said haughtily
"And she doesn't like kisses from me?" Henri said, smacking the table "I was kissing her years ago, before you even laid eyes on her."
"It was only the once..." I muttered
"I highly doubt that." Marissa said "I had eyes for Amber as soon as I saw her awkward, shitty scholarship acceptance speech at the high school. Everything about her, from the way her clothes didn't quite fit, to how she used words she thought would make her sound smart, to her little pauses for laughter and clapping that never came; all of it. You weren't even there for that speech."
"If I was I would have at least clapped." Henri said. "If you really fell for her then, you would have too, I heard no one even acknowledged she'd said anything, and she walked off the stage in tears."
It wasn't 'in tears'. I was fighting back tears, but I didn't cry until I got backstage.
"That make me like her even more." Marissa crooned, drumming her fingers. "No attempt to get the assembly to care once she finished, not a word of apology, just a quick, defeated, stiff walk offstage, and the faint sounds of crying after she thought no one could hear. That make me crazy for her, I could just see myself owning her and making her my little lackey. She'd do anything I wanted, because she knew I'd be the only one to treat her right when no one else was around."
"That's sick, you're disgusting." Henri said, venom in her voice
"You're the only fucking reason I couldn't have her back then, you know." Marissa said, her tone scarily calm "Once she had a friend, she stopped trying to get along with me, and just let all the stuff I did to her happen. In a way, you made her life path go from being the right hand woman and girlfriend of the most powerful girl in school, to being a bullied loser who everyone saw as an easy target."
Marissa leaned in and picked me up, carefully and gently holding me up to her face.
"You ruined her life, Henri. I'm just finally getting it back to where she should have been all those years ago, by my side, being mine."
I imagined life with Marissa, if I'd been her sidekick instead of the three she ended up with. I didn't think I could have bullied people like she did, but I was ashamed to say that I might have tried, if it'd meant not being bullied myself. I'd never realized I'd had a shot at being anything but 'the rat', I thought I'd blown it on that first day. I wasn't sure how to feel about this information, but I did know that the warmth from Marissa's cheek was doing wonders for my still-chilly back. I leaned into her to warm up more.
"See that?" Marissa pointed out "She heard all that, and cuddled in closer to me. She's mine, and she likes it."
Henri was openly sobbing now, tears making small stains on the sweater. I should say something, this was wrong. Marissa wasn't lying, but she was still destroying my friend right in front of me, and I couldn't think of anything smart to say. In the end, I just said the first thing in my head without thinking.
"Henri, you made life have value. You gave me a friend when I needed one, and you were always there for me. I love you, but maybe not the same way you love me? I don't know right now... Marissa is scary and mean, and she likes to hurt people, but she's wrong about one thing at least, you didn't ruin my life, you just changed it, and I liked getting to know you, more than I would have liked being Marissa's bitch, at least."
Marissa pet me gently, letting me know she wasn't going to stop me, so I kept going.
"Right now though, more than a friend, I need someone to care for me and to protect me. I think right now, that's Marissa. You're a really great friend, and I really hope you can work all this out, but... I don't think in your current state you could care for me correctly."
"I could!" she said "I really, really could. I'd be so, so gentle, and I'd be so terribly careful, too."
"I think you could learn to be a good caretaker..." I admitted "But right now, you're too unstable. Marissa is cruel, but her cruelty is measured and careful, she'd never willingly hurt me. I don't think you would willingly hurt me, but you've almost killed me twice because you did something without thinking. Marissa did that, like, once, and we've been together over a week, compared to the few hours I spent with you. I'm just saying, you've got a much worse track record than she does so far."
Henri sniffled "Ok, so... if I get a better track record, you'll let me date you and you'll break up with Marissa?"
Marissa's hands tightened on me slightly, and I quickly shook my head
"No no no, no. If you get a better track record, you'll be able to hang out with me more often. I don't even know if me and Marissa have the kind of relationship that you break up from, anyway. It's kind of unclear."
"Oh, wait..." Henri said "So I could maybe still date you?"
"I don-" I started
"No." Marissa said, with finality. "Whatever relationship we have, she's mine, and I'm not sharing her."
Henri sank back down in her seat and dropped her head on the table.
"I really don't understand..." She whispered
I sighed "Henri, all that happened is that I want you to go back to your old self, no more threatening to kill people, no property damage, no stealing my identity, and no more planning to do horrible things to me to get me out of the country."
"It's not that horrible..." She muttered "You'd be safe, at least."
"That's not the point." I said "I live with Marissa now, accept that, and accept that we've got some kind of relationship, and we'll be fine."
"I don't even know what the relationship is, how am I supposed to accept it?" She said, glaring up at Marissa
"We don't need to call it anything." Marissa said "Me and Amber know how it works, and all you need to know is that she's taken."
Henri stood up again, and wiped her eyes. Her makeup was smeared, and her cheeks and nose were pink.
"...I'm going to skip class, today." She said "I'm going to move my own stuff from the dorms into my new room. I'll stop wearing your stuff, Amber."
I looked at her sadly "...You can borrow some of the clothes, I guess. Just don't be weird about it. Don't wear them just to smell them or whatever you're doing..."
She nodded, and looked at Marissa "I looked into that thing you told me, by the way. There's no bomb on Amber's leg. They don't make those, or anything like it. You were lying to me about that."
Marissa nodded back. "Yeah, you're a psycho, I lied to keep Amber safe."
"Am I still invited to the party?" She asked, her voice small
"...Do you even want to go?" Marissa said, confused
"...Ja, I want to see Amber, and get a chance to be a normal person, to prove I can be ok around her."
I glanced over at Marissa, she'd lowered me from her face and was gently rubbing my back with a thinking look on her face.
"...Ok. You can come. But make sure to show up late, and you have to play along with the servant thing. If you do anything to endanger Amber, me and the girls will 'hold you accountable' for it."
"Like, beat me up?" Henri asked
"Just don't do anything stupid, got it?" Marissa said quietly.
Henri nodded, and collected her phone.
"...I'll be there. Bye Amber, I love you..."
Without waiting for a response, she walked away.
~~~
I sighed and shifted on my couch, I wasn't sure if she'd even know how to answer, but... I set the tablet on the stand, pressed the 'call' button, and waited. After a few minutes, the screen flashed, and I was looking at a partially blurred image of the ceiling in my old apartment.
"Amber?" my mom asked "Are you there? I saw it said you were calling, are you there?"
"I'm here, mom." I said "Point the screen at your face, is anyone else there?"
She moved the camera until it showed her face, and smiled as she saw me on the screen "Ohh, Amber! There you are! That's a nice dress, why didn't you wear things like that when you lived here?"
"I didn't pick this, I- mom, are you alone right now?"
"Oh, your Appa is at work, and Henri is in her room. Did you hear she moved in? It's like having a daughter again!"
I sighed and gave my mom a half smile "Mom, I've been gone for less than two weeks, did you really need a replacement daughter?"
She waved her hand at me "Oh, it's not a replacement, it's helping with the mourning!"
"I'm not dead, I'm still alive and still in the same town, even."
"But can we really expect to see you? It's terrible to know you are stuck being a... I think Henri said 'stress toy'? for that horrible girl."
"It's not that bad, look, mom, don't tell Henri, but-"
"You want me to get Henri? I can call her, I-"
"MOM, no. Don't tell Henri, ugh. Marissa wants to come over tomorrow and meet you two, and maybe have dinner."
"We've met her at school events, I didn't like her, she was rotten." My mom said, dismissively
"Well I miss you and Appa, and this is the only way I'll get to see you, so..."
"Not if the lawsuit goes through, we'll get you back and get big money too!" She said, nodding like she knew what she was doing
"I'm not banking on that lawsuit going anywhere, look, can we come over? It'll be around 5 or so, is that ok?"
She nodded "Of course, if that rotten girl behaves herself. I'll make your favorite, and we can all try and make her give you back!"
"No, I can't- don't-" I gave up "Just... be polite. If you're too rude, she won't bring me back over anymore, ok?.."
My mom sighed and rolled her eyes "Ok, ok, I can 'play nice' for a bit. I'll tell your Appa tonight. Why can't I tell Henri?"
"I want it to just be us this time." I lied "I don't want to hurt her feelings, but I want to just spend time with the two of you."
She put her hand over her heart "Oh, Amber, That is so kind of you, I will do my best to hide it from the replacement daughter."
"She's not- ugh." I dropped my protests at her smirk, and shook my head "I'll see you tomorrow, mom. I love you."
"I love you too, Amber, stay safe, dumpling."
I watched as she fiddled with her phone, trying to turn it off. I heard a door open, and Henri's voice behind her, she'd been crying again
"Miss Park? I heard Amber's name, was she-"
The phone hung up, and my screen went back to the contacts page. I bit my lip, and wondered how my mother was taking all this so well. Her and my dad were strict, but loving and caring. I hadn't seen my mother much lately, but aside from her reaction to finding me, my interactions with her; the texts and that call, were very relaxed, like she wasn't bothered at all. Was she unbothered? Or was she just pretending, for my sake? I walked to my front door and called out for Marissa. She glanced over from her PC, and held out her hand, letting me drop into it. She pulled me in and set me in front of her keyboard, still playing her game.
"So... Are we on for tomorrow?" She asked
"Yeah, we'll get there about 5." I said "She's making mandu, I couldn't break the news that I wouldn't be able to eat any."
Marissa nodded "Hm, well, maybe you can have a bite or two, do a test, like you said."
"Yeah, it'd just be bites of dough or tofu or something though." I said "I can't really get a mouthful like this. I'll most likely just eat until I'm full though, I miss my mom's cooking."
"Maybe we make lil Amber sized ones?" Marissa suggested "If she starts the cooking while we're there, maybe you could even help show me how to cook!"
I laughed "Yeah, I can try. A tiny person in a small room of splashing oil and sharp knives though, that's an accident waiting to happen."
"Oh, I'm sure we can work something out..." She hummed, petting me with her mouse hand as her opponents took their turns. "After this one, want to play a round with me? We can bump up the difficulty, and try different gods?"
I glanced at the screen and shrugged "Yeah, that sounds like fun! I wanted to try out someone with more combat stuff anyway."
She lit up "Oooh, you should try Lord Kartikeya! Craaazy good at military stuff, I'll show you some of the tricks, and with that religion, if your troops die, there's a chance the next time you make a new one of that kind of troop, they'll keep the experience and training as the one that died!"
I let her explain the ins and outs of her game, and smiled. She was cute, all chatty and excited to share her information. I think I'd made the right decision, seeing her here like this, relaxing with her. Henri would baby me and treat me like I couldn't stand on my own two feet, Marissa at least could see me as an equal, even if seeing me as an equal made her 'urges' even stronger. I lay my head on her wrist and she flinched.
"Oh, sorry, was I talking you to sleep?" She asked
"Nah." I said "I just wanted to touch you, I guess."
She didn't respond, but I could see a soft, slightly proud smile flickering on her face as she kept playing.
~~~
I leaned against the water bottle marking my seat and watched Marissa do her thing. Her leaps and swings, her thighs flexing, the snap of the ball hitting her racquet as she drove it over the net. It was like she was dancing, or like she was fighting someone with all her might. Either way, seeing her move with this amount of power in her frail looking body put her into perspective for me. She was strong. I'd assumed Henri would win in a fight, but gods, the way she flexed and twisted, Henri wouldn't stand a chance. I enjoyed the sun on me as I admired her movements, and was grateful the water bottle wasn't chilled, the warmth was nice, and I was finally a good temperature outside of Marissa's pocket or my house. A shadow passed in front of me, and a figure dropped onto the seat next to me, making my heart leap and almost knocking over the water bottle.
"So..." a familiar voice said "I take it you're into the female form?"
I looked up at Quince, who was coyly grinning down at me
"W-what?" I asked
"You've been oogling Marissa's ass for the last two matches, it's so obvious you're into her."
"N-no, I just was impressed, she's very good, and I wanted to watch her closely so we'd have something to talk about later..."
Quince snorted and put on an impression of my voice "Oh, Marissa, I loooved watching you playyy, you were soooo hot, I just staaared and staaared"
"I mean... She'd probably like that..." I said, embarrassed
"She might. It's a tossup if she'd be creeped out to have a lesbian spying on her 24/7 or thrilled to have someone who appreciated her body forced to watch it."
"I'm not a- I don't- I'm not anything, I just- There's nothing wrong with being open..."
"So you WERE creeping on her." Quince said, patting my head
"I really wasn't, but even if I was, she'd be ok with it, I promise you."
Quince looked at me and frowned "Do you know something I don't know?"
Alarm bells went off in my head, I was one wrong word away from outing Marissa by accident
"She... really, really wants me to be a devoted pet. If I was into her, it'd be me playing right into her wishes."
Was that enough?
"Ohhhh" Quince said, nodding "I got it, a secret crush. You don't want her to know because it'd make it even harder to deal with her.
She looked at me appraisingly "You're more bold than I thought, Rat. I'm impressed you're even trying to play her like that, she'll find out, you know, one way or another."
I looked up at her. I didn't think Quince suspected anything, so I'd done an ok job on the save, from what I could tell.
"Are you going to tell her?"
Quince held her hand out to me "It depends, do I get snuggles?"
I frowned "Snuggles?"
"Oh come on, you thought I came over just to make fun of you? I wanna playyy lil baybee!~"
I winced "Ok, just... be gentle, please."
She squee'd and snatched me up, in a very un-gentle way, her fingers playing across my body like I was a controller
"I'm just so blown away by your tiny limbs and hands!" She said, pulling on me "They're so, so small and they still work!"
"Not if you pull them off, please be- OW!'" I yelped as she turned my arm the wrong way "Seriously Quince, that hurts..."
She held me up to her face and wiggled me back and forth, her thumb and forefinger under her my ribs. "It's ok baybe, I'll kiss it allll better..."
"No you won't, seriously, Marissa will beat you the fuck up, please don't." I said coldly
Her eyes went to Marissa still on the court and her forehead creased in worry "...Yeah, ok. that's fair..."
She held me up to the top of her head "Wanna ride between my puffs?"
"No, that's dangerous!" I said, kicking my feet "Just hold me, gods, how did you pass the class?"
"The test is easy, the class is just long. The test is like "Did you pay attention? Can you force your new pet to do stuff? Can you give them as a gift? Blah blah blah, obvious stuff. Practically anyone could pass it."
"That's... concerning." I said "Marissa made it sound super important."
"Oh, she would." Quince said "But... yeah, she took it very seriously. I think she knew she was at a higher risk of having her class B taken away, so like, she studied extra hard to know what she could get away with."
"That sounds like her..." I said
Quince turned me over, hanging me by my feet "I can't wait to have my own little one of you..."
"Just promise you'll be more careful with them, ok?" I asked, my stomach doing flips
"I don't have to promise you shit, Rat." She said, narrowing her eyes at me
"Amber." A voice from behind said
Quince flinched, and carefully set me down on my seat "Well, she's not going in my pocket, I can call her whatever I want, right?"
"No." Marissa said, sitting on the other side of me. She was sweaty and looked tired, her face pink and her dress wet around the armpits and neckline.
"Why the fuck were you playing with my pet?" She asked, catching her breath and cracking open the water bottle I'd been leaning against
"She... said I could?" Quince offered, sounding like she wasn't sure if that was the right answer
Marissa looked at me and raised an eyebrow
"Well, I said she could hold me, if she was gentle..." I admitted
"Hanging her upside down isn't gentle, Quince." Marissa said bluntly "Respect her like you would me, she's my fucking pet, and you're just my friend."
"Wait, pets are more important than friends?!" Quince said, taken aback
"Yup." Marissa said, not elaborating.
Quince sat there, thinking. Finally she spoke "Your 'pet' was staring at your ass, like, the whole time."
I'd figured she'd 'tell' eventually, but I was surprised she'd done it so fast. She must really not like being put lower than me on the social ladder.
Marissa eyed me, her mouth fighting a smile "...It's a nice ass."
Quince shook her head "It's really not. You barely have an ass, but she was still staring at it, that's the takeaway here."
Marissa shrugged "She can look at my ass if she wants, She's mine, so it's like, it's not weird. She's my property or whatever."
Quince frowned "It doesn't bother you that there's a lesbo watching your every move, constantly?"
"I'm not a- Ugh, no, I'm not NOT a lesbian, I just-" I tried to correct her, but I didn't quite know how 'pan' and 'lesbian' interacted. Could I be both? Did one cancel out the other? I needed to figure this out eventually...
Marissa picked me up in her hand and I basked in her body heat, she was so, so warm, even warmer than the sunlight, her face was still flushed, and her blood was still pumping. I fell back into her fingers, feeling the slightly harder bits where her skin rubbed the racquet and stopped trying to talk.
"Think about it this way" Marissa said "If there was a hot guy watching you all the time, appreciating you and admiring you, but respectfully, like, you're still a person to him, would you mind?"
"Nnno? I mean, yeah, sometimes, but... I don't know, I guess not, if he was cool about it." Quince said
"Same thing here." Marissa said wiggling me "I don't mind if she looks. She'd be cool about it, and we've talked over stuff, and she respects me, I guess."
Something about that argument felt... wrong, somehow. Sexist, to say the least, but I didn't know enough about that stuff to figure out what exactly was wrong...
"...Whatever, it's your body, I guess." Quince said, looking at me with a curious, almost contemplative look.
"And that's all that really matters." Marissa said, standing up and arching her back "Come on, Amber, let's go take a shower."
I stiffened, and looked up at her wide eyed as she walked away. Once we were out of earshot of Quince, I hissed up to her "Are you seriously taking me in the shower with you?!"
Marissa's face finally broke into an easy smile and she snorted "I could, I guess. Do you think our relationship is that far yet?"
I shook my head furiously "No! I haven't even seen you naked, showers are like, 5 steps past that!"
"Well, maybe this is how you get to see me naked?" She said innocently
I punched her finger and frowned "You're messing with me, right?"
"Noooo." She said "I was messing with Quince, but this is fun too."
I sighed. "I think Quince is homophobic or something..."
"Yeah, for sure, that's why it's funny." Marissa said "Less phobic, more... repressed. She's straight as an arrow, but I think if she could get past her upbringing she'd be ok with me and you at least, she's just been around assholes her whole life."
"I guess that's fair..." I said as we entered the locker room. "She was just saying some stuff that sounded... eh."
"She's the main reason I haven't come out. I think Tracy would be more ok with it?" Marissa pulled her bag out of the smashed up locker and headed to the showers "But she'd tell everyone, of course, and most people in this school wouldn't be ok with it at all."
"Tracy seems like the kind of person who would act like she was offended just to fit in." I said thoughtfully as Marissa set me on the bench in her shower cubby
"She totally would, I swear she'll do anything to feel like she fits." Marissa laughed "I think she only dated people because she felt she'd be an outcast if she didn't."
"That's- hey, I never dated, what are you saying?" I asked indignantly
"That you're a loser outcast with no friends or social standing. Obviously." Marissa retorted and she stepped behind the curtain and started putting her clothes next to me on the bench "But hey, that's why I love you, that pathetic vibe you give off just does something for me."
I got up and walked to the end of the bench, looking through the cracks in the swinging doors on the cubby at the rest of the showers to see if anyone was around
"You're pretty comfortable saying 'I love you' to me in a public place like this..."
"I canceled my last match, we're alone for at least half an hour while the other girls finish up, maybe longer." She said over the water "No one's around, and if they are, fuck 'em. People tell their pets they love them all the time."
"I think that's the first time you said it, right?" I said, thinking back
She poked her head out of the shower "No, I totally said it at the sleepover, you just didn't know I meant it then."
"But you do mean it?" I said "You couldn't even get the words out a couple days ago."
"I couldn't tell it to you straight to your face if I tried, but yeah, I mean it. Take it where you can get it, I guess." She ducked back in "I don't think you've said it yet though, not that you have to or anything, but I have noticed."
I stayed quiet. I didn't love her, not yet at least, but I did care about her. I tried to think of how to express that, but it all sounded so fake and sad.
The water shut off and Marissa grabbed a towel off the bar across from me. I could see her through the clouded plastic sheet, and I watched as she rubbed herself down. Did this count as creeping? She was my... something, owner or partner or something, so it couldn't be that bad, but if I couldn't even say I loved her...
The curtain opened to Marissa in a towel, and I felt myself flush. I was absolutely feeling creepy now...
"Hey, look, I've had, like, half a decade to fall head over heels with you." Marissa said "If you haven't gotten there in a week, I get it. As long as we're good."
I nodded "That's a very mature way of looking at it... I don't know what love feels like, so... I don't know if I'll be able to tell when I do love you..."
"Ifyou love me." She said, picking some things out of her bag "Relationships, especially ones like ours, don't always need to have both parties love each other."
"That feels like an unfair power dynamic..." I said.
She stopped halfway into the shower and looked back "...Amber. I fucking OWN you. You're small enough for me to crush with a single hand. You're wearing an anklet that tells the world you're mine, and you're not a legal human anymore. What fucking possible way could a power dynamic get more imbalanced than that already? You're my fucking pet."
I blinked. Somehow, I'd forgotten how starkly different our situations were. With her guard down, it almost felt like we were equals, but... She could do whatever she wanted to me, and I needed to keep that in mind, even if she was treating me more and more like a person.
"Uh, yeah. that's a good point."
"Yeah, no shit." She said, snapping the shower closed "Now shut up, I need to get ready and you're distracting me."
~~~
We stood in front of my old apartment door and I waited on Marissa to knock. She shifted her feet and looked ahead, not moving, and I climbed up out of her palm to see her face. She had her usual public face on, the bitchy one with the narrow stare and the thin, tight lips. I tugged on her thumb and waved to get her attention. She glanced down, her eyes focusing and her face softening slightly.
"What is it?" She asked quietly
"Is everything good? We're supposed to be getting here, like, right now. My parents admire promptness..."
She looked at me and curled her lips "We're- We- Look. I'm the monster that stole their daughter away from them, I'm the reason you're not still living there, and who knows what Henri has told them?"
She looked back up at the door
"Plus... ugh, power dynamics aside, we are in some kind of relationship..."
"Were- oh, um, are we telling them that?" I asked, suddenly nervous myself
"I'm guessing Henri already did, so... I don't want to tip off my master lying skills by pretending we're not if they already know." She sighed "I'll save those for when I have to pretend to like whatever gifts they give me for our anniversary."
"Uh, I don't think we can legally marry?" I said
"Huh? They legalized it like, 20 years ago."
"No, I mean, I'm not... human anymore." I shifted in her hand nervously
"Oh. Yeah. Well, the anniversary thing was a joke anyway, it's whatever."
We sat there for a few moments longer. I was getting anxious just waiting like this...
"I really think it'll be ok, my mom seemed fine when I talked to her yesterday."
"Does your dad have a gun? Is he going to do the whole 'cleaning his gun' thing to scare me?"
"I think he has one? But he'll just be aggressively disappointed in you more than likely."
Marissa groaned "Gods, I get that from my own parents..."
"Ok, so are you going to-"
The door swung open, and my mom stepped out, a frown on her face
"Are you going to come in or just stand out here and whine?" She said, pointing into the apartment "You have my daughter, get inside so we can see her too."
Marissa threw up her hand in apology and scooched past her into the familiar space of my old living room. As she passed by, I heard my mom whisper "Rotten girl..." under her breath. If Marissa had heard, she didn't even flinch.
~~~